HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2016-01-14, Page 5Other Views
The devil made them do it
Say what you will about the bouffanted
buffoon we've come to know and
loathe as The Donald....He's got
chutzpah.
Also known as gall, effrontery, cojones,
moxie and unadulterated arrogance.
Chutzpah. A quality personified not
only by the orange -haired vulgarian with
both feet in his mouth but also by that
other man. The one who, having murdered
his mother and father, pleads for the mercy
of the court on the grounds that he is an
orphan.
If you want to see chutzpah in full flower,
the courts are a good place to start. Consider
the case of Ethan Couch, a Texan punk who, at
the age of 18, stole two cases of beer, drank
himself into a stupor then went out for a drive,
killing four pedestrians.
Did he do time? Nah. Ethan comes
from money. His family hired a lawyer who
argued that Ethan wasn't a criminal. He
suffered, the lawyer argued, from `affluenza' —
a life so insulated by vast wealth and indulgent
parents that he literally didn't know right from
wrong.
In other words, the money made him do
it.
Now Dan White, he had a different defence.
After he shot George Moscone, mayor of San
Arthur
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Black
Francisco, White found a lawyer who claimed
White wasn't responsible — it was all those
Twinkies he ate. White's addiction to junk
food led to `diminished capacity' causing him
to kill. The sugar made him do it.
A 35 -year-old schoolteacher in Buffalo
used a variation of the Twinkie defense when
facing a drunk driving rap. Her lawyer argued
that while she had blown a blood alcohol level
four times the limit, it wasn't her fault. His
client suffered from `gut -fermentation
syndrome' — basically, her stomach was an
unlicensed distillery that converted food into
alcohol.
Not her fault, you see. Her stomach made
her do it.
Sandie Craddock, a London barmaid, also
suffered from an internal problem. She stabbed
a co-worker to death. Her lawyer claimed she
was cranky that day due to pre-menstrual
syndrome.
THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, JANUARY 14, 2016. PAGE 5.
I guess you'd have to call that a crime of the
month.
And there's John Hinckley, the nutbar
who shot Ronald Reagan back in 1981.
Hinckley said he did it to impress actress Jodie
Foster.
In other words, Hollywood made him do it.
Aside from sharing a stratospheric level of
absurdity, these defenses have one other thing
in common: they all worked. Ethan Couch's
Affluenza defence earned a wrist slap sentence
of 10 years probation; Dan White was
acquitted of the murder of mayor Moscone;
the Buffalo schoolteacher had her DUI charges
dropped and the homicidal London barmaid
with PMS, pleaded down from murder to
simple manslaughter.
And John Hinckley Junior? The man who
shot Reagan was acquitted of 13 assault,
murder and weapons charges. Not guilty by
reason of insanity.
What's the lesson to take away here? That no
one ever went broke underestimating the
credulity of judges (and juries).
Also that it doesn't hurt to keep the phone
number of a chutzpah -heavy lawyer in your
wallet. As the comedian Stephen Wright said:
"I broke a mirror and now face seven years bad
luck. But my lawyer thinks he can get it down
to five."
The world needs better newsfeeds
Whether you're an avid internet user
and find yourself getting some of
your news from the Facebook news
feed or a good bit of international news comes
from tickers on the bottom of news channels,
the world needs those sources of stories to be
better.
This morning I woke up and while I
expected (and wasn't frustrated by) the
amount of different news stories about David
Bowie's passing and the Golden Globe
Awards, I found myself awestruck at just how
shallow the "trending" news was that was
provided to me through several different news
sources.
On any given Monday, many of the news
stories usually reflect big events that occurred
over the weekend. This Monday, there could
have been stories detailing how Canada was
essentially cut in half by the heaving of the
Trans -Canada Highway, how a shooting
occurred at a Calgary night club early Sunday
morning or how Syrian refugees were
assaulted with pepper spray in Vancouver.
Unfortunately, those stories were nowhere to
be seen.
Aside from the Bowie tributes, one of my
newsfeeds had stories about the Playboy
Mansion going up for sale, stars' dresses at the
Golden Globes, interviews with amateur video
game designers and images from an upcoming
super -hero movie without a single comment on
the "real" news stories listed above.
Now, I know that I can't blame the people
who make the newsfeeds available. Twitter
can't be blamed that topping their list of
trending Canadian news over a major national
transportation route are stories about Toronto
Maple Leaf James van Riemsdyk being out six
to eight weeks with a broken foot or Josh
Leivo being called up in the wake of that
incident. Facebook can't be blamed for the fact
that Kirsten Dunst's dress at the Golden
Globes is generating more interest than the
assault of refugees seeking a home in Canada.
The only people that can be blamed are those
clicking on these stories.
I've touched on this subject before, however,
this time I'm looking at these newsfeeds not as
something to be used but as something I
akDenny
Scott
Denny's Den
personally plan to avoid.
To stop the proliferation of `news' stories
focused on dresses, video game modifications
and other entertainment tidbits parading
around as important information, people need
to know, part of my New Year's resolution is to
avoid `clickbait.'
`Clickbait' is a relatively new term that
means content designed for the sole purpose of
increasing the number of visitors to a page.
Whenever a story that someone is sharing
with you or that pops up on your newsfeed that
starts with, "You'll never believe..." or
"Shocking news..." or "Number 11 was my
favourite..." or anything similar, you can bet
you're staring at clickbait.
Like chatting with a neighbour or friend, the
internees advertisers and news providers can
remember what stories you visit and try to
interest you in similar stories. Every time you
click on something on a site, it logs it.
Rumour and gossip is part of being human.
We all want to know what is happening to the
people in our community because we either
like them or don't. With the internet, however,
our `community' has gotten a lot larger and,
with those clicks, with those shares and with
those chain e-mails, we're telling advertisers
and news outlets that we're more interested in
the Playboy Mansion's asking price than we
are in actual news happening close to home.
The same can be said of our personal
interactions. Every time you laugh, smile or
thank someone for telling you a story, you are
telling them you enjoyed that kind of story, so
they know to tell you things they find out that
are similar.
Whether it's a salacious rumour about a
neighbour down the street or sharing your love
for a television show, when you tell someone
something and they genuinely seem interested
in it, you're making a connection between
them and that kind of news the same way an
advertiser looks at clicks on a website.
As a matter, of fact, while it is a new term,
many linguists and researches have linked the
idea of clickbait to rumours.
How many times do people say, "You'll
never guess what happened to me..." or "You'll
never guess who I saw doing..." or "Guess who
was at the...". It's the same style of drawing in
a reader with a story that is more flash than
sizzle.
What differentiates clickbait from genuine
news being shared? Well, typically, it's re-
hashed content. It's lists that other people have
already assembled being repeated so a website
can get more clicks and more money from
their advertisers.
I plan on avoiding listening to or clicking on
stories like that as I also plan on avoiding
anything that isn't related to what I'm dealing
with at the time.
With so much information available on the
internet, it can be incredibly easy to start
looking for one thing and end up completely
distracted and looking at something else.
To demonstrate, visit the Trans -Canada
Highway story on CBC.ca.
While this will certainly change by the time
The Citizen hits the stands, there are a half-
dozen stories on the side of the page that have
to do with the Ontario jail staff contract deal,
David Bowie and racism and discrimination
against indigenous people.
This isn't clickbait. This is legitimate news
being shared on a legitimate news site.
Now point your browser to any
entertainment news site or even a site like
YouTube and look at the difference.
You're not seeing news stories there, you're
seeing advertisements based on your browsing
habits and stories based on trying to generate
interest, not get the news out.
My resolution, in its entirety, is about NOT
getting sidetracked, but browsing habits are a
big part of that for me. Feel free to join me if
you like, it can only serve to show advertisers
and websites that we're interested in real news,
and not those seven outrageous cat videos or
amazing true celebrity stories.
Shawn
Loughlin
Shawn's Sense
Golden hilarity
Wecan all sit here and debate the
validity of movie awards shows
until we're blue in the face — but on
Sunday night at the Golden Globe Awards, one
thing was so strange that it was the butt of
many, many jokes over the course of the night.
The Martian, a rich, involved movie starring
Matt Damon and directed by Ridley Scott — all
based on a book by Andy Weir, which has been
called one of the most well -researched and
feasible science -fiction novels of all time —
was honoured with the Golden Globe for Best
Picture... musical or comedy.
I have seen The Martian and I know there's
no music in it. So we're left with comedy and
that movie, my friends, is not a comedy.
Host Ricky Gervais, who knows a thing or
two about comedy himself, ridiculed the odd
categorization all night. Even when Ridley
Scott, one of Hollywood's most respected
directors, accepted the award for The Martian
he made a comment that was akin to "The
Martian, a comedy? Not so much."
While many praise the Golden Globes for
this split, which encourages the inclusion of
not just dramas, but of comedies and musicals,
the dark side of that decision is providing an
avenue where a movie with dubious -at -best
ties to the comedy genre can enter the category
and sweep away movies that have more of a
right to be there.
So while there were jokes about how
"hilarious" Matt Damon was in The Martian,
all with tongue firmly planted in cheek, you
couldn't help but feel bad for other movies that
were rightly in the comedy category that lost
out because The Martian opted to take over the
category, rather than tangle with the big boys
like The Revenant, Spotlight and Steve Jobs in
the drama category — all favourites for plenty
of awards this year.
As I said at the beginning of this column,
awards aren't everything. In fact, plenty of
people go out of their way to avoid critically -
acclaimed movies — especially ones that win
Golden Globes or Academy Awards, thinking
that if they appeal to a snobby, artsy film critic
audience, there won't be anything in it for your
average movie-goer.
There have been plenty of examples of this
recently, with movies like Birdman, The Artist
and The King's Speech taking home the
Academy Award for Best Picture in the last
few years. Has anybody really seen many of
these movies? No.
And for every year when a movie like
Birdman or The Artist wins big, there will
always be movies that grossed hundreds of
millions of dollars that reached a much wider
audience. Decisions like these leave average
movie-goers scratching their heads and just
serves to alienate them further from the
system.
For every Saving Private Ryan (a movie
everyone saw and loved) there is a
Shakespeare in Love, which swept in to win
Best Picture. For many, there will always be
1977 when a little movie called Star Wars
actually did not win Best Picture. Instead, it
lost to Woody Allen's Annie Hall in what
many of those skeptical of the system and who
it serves point to as ground zero for the "who
watches these movies, anyway?" discussion.
So back to The Martian winning an award
for best comedic picture. People already feel
like they can't trust the award system (sure it's
their Best Picture, but it sure isn't mine) so
don't go confusing the genres on them too. If
millions flock to watch The Martian, last
year's "best comedy" this week, looking for
yuks, they may be greatly disappointed.