HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Lucknow Sentinel, 1963-07-10, Page 5(---. .
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,vmoriEspA.Y„ JUI.Y 10, 1983
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TIE LUCKNQW SENTINEL, LUCICNOW; oliTART0
ciiiiitiitmniwa
Why do Canadians • drink so
• 'much?' Each year, the black line
,on the.' boozing .chart inches
higher, and we are told' the hor-
• rifying tact that every man,
woman and child, in this coun-
try puts •away, 16 gallons' of
hooch •and 84 gallons of beer,
or some such.
. Now.- II •knOw that while you
may drink . that • much, Aunt
Mabel,' I don't and my. kids
don't and 1 doubt whether their.
grandmother does, so somebodY
is really knobking back the Stuff.
the* culprit? The vil-
lain. 'is ipt •the Canadian temp-
erament, but the Canadian wea-
ther. • •
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For eight months of the year
we are .adjured *at every turn'
to have a nip to keep out , the
•cold. •During the other four.
months; we slcish it down by,
the •'bucket, to beat the heat.
Like ..right now. At , this. very
moment, -at '5 o'clock on a. July
day, the 'imercury past 90, it is
horrifying lb speculate on the
nurriber Canadi_ana who. are
-lolling in their -back Yards, or
at &cottage, or on a bea0h,. or in
an air-cooled bar, clutching a
cold Ibeverage. And getting
.steadily hotter.
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I find it difficult .4to criticize
them. I've just been through. one
of the worst 1Weeks 'in my life,
in' the middle ofthe wort heat
wave. of the -summer, and I feel
nothing but sympathy tor 'those
who turn . to drink in the :hot
weather. I have 'been lou'ildipig a
picnic table. •
The Old 13attleaxe has been
niggling about one for a •couple
Of; years, All through .February
and IMarch She kept' seeing them
advertised at low, low prices.,1
wasn't interested. First, 1 was-
n't in the mood 'for picnic tablei
while I was -shoVelling snow 'in
every daylight.'"hour to spare.
Secondly, the tables 'were all ,of
the type that You have to put
together yourself, and I had
had' enough of t.that Caper.' •
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lack a el... CM youghinow
it's Canada's best-selling beer
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P4Ge. FIVE .
• It costs so little to phone
with Bell's reduced rates
calls between 'points
The day rates.are low...
thereare bargain rates
after 6 and all day Sunclak1
Enjoy yourself
all the way .
ahead• '
for reqervationsi
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ahead and make sure --
on STATION -TO -STATION
Ontario and Quebec.
In my. , time•I have put to-
gether everything . from baby's
COts.` through Prefab cupboards
• and unpainted bookcases to
, •• backyard swim pools. Inevitably,
•the baby's 'cots 'have turned out
'looking like bookcases and the
sWhtuning pools like baby's: cots.
Screws never ;;,dit.•,Boards are
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warped. The plans, . ;which tell.
you .with a sneer' that any half-
wit can !put this thing together,
are' invariably . put together by
•, • , , • •
Result: I go into a deep, flain-
, 'ing, unadulterated fury: My wife'
• dances gingerly. arotinct,. j.ust out
• Cif 'ieh • The kids 'quietly go
into another part'' of ithe thouse
• and turn 'the •radio on. full. vol.
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say.."MABEL,
BLACK _
LABEL/".:6
or'
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Ignoring the debacles , the:.
;decided to.humor The
Heckler, :buy her a picnic table,
and •wrestle it :.together, But
sixidenly; we. found, , all those
'hot bargains had vanished..Pic
nic 'tables' had soared in. value.
.>.;: "The heck with this," 'any' Wife
sal& "We'll do 'it the • economical,
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We went to the Mill; where
they :Cut .out the Planks and too-,
befOres,, I think they. call them.
I was a little relieved that she
didn't; ivant to chop a, tree
and ,make my own planks..Lum,
her was only $19.95.: Saved six
or, ten. ' dollars already.. They
didn't have :any'. Of the .regular
plans for picnic tables, but they
had,,•a :plan' for a •kiddies' table,
and'' the fellow : said it ,was the
same prinCiple. .• • . •
., Using •tried, and true meth-
ods' r ,did not set to work. I,.
•calied a couple of ,husky young
'confreres 'and told then). ,to• drop
arciund for an ale. I just,hap.
Pen,ded .4 to have a coupe.• -of
spare hammers. :When they ar-
rived.I claimed .1 had .asked
them around for a nail. Three
tour, dozen c ales and .athtind-
red nails later, we .had .various
Pieces of lumber nailed together,
none of which 'seethed to, have
any. :;connection with, the •pieces,
left' over. •My thelpers ;quitand
• Went swimming.. •
,., Undaunted, I• pla3red.' my ',next
kaid. •1Called' another, friend, an
expert in Wtiodworking, and 'ask...
ed him to loan fine .some tools.:
CUngLy, wben, 'he arrived:,
begged him to show' a bit
c'f his -skill, mentioned how
smart- his kids Wereand spoke
of his Wife's. •charm; Within an
hour, he ihad •the, thing standing
up,9.ille told. me how to
'it,: arid' left. ••
I started 'to put in a screw•
nail: The table began 'to sway
like„ . shot stallion and the
whole ruddy structure collapsed
•on mV ' left, instepwith a 'heart-
rending rumble. Hopping
.1 got out tlic-axe„and„.was •about
to„adrninister the Coup 'de grace
but' my wife •and' kid.grabbed
me:around the, legs and hung ,on.
got the expert •Iback, bribed
.him,•with•• cold' .drinks and • he
finished It., There are. aboUt L'3•00
nails and bolts and Screws in it„,
bilt• it• stands tall; Inonu•nient
td sheer ingenuity. •
Got my daughter Paint it
at 5,6c an liOur Lumber, hard-
ware beer for the Ourigkrst gin.:
and tonic for the 'etPert, stain
0,14 'Ornigit-i„ and Wages for. the
painter, anda doctor's ibill for
a bashed foot brought the total
to about $43.
asimiemilimmismassamismimi
• HURON. CO-OPERATIVE
Prepaid Health
Plans At Cosf
•
COOP.: w T.
BOARD OF.DIRECTORS.
President, Fordyce' Clark, RR: 5, .
Goderich; , Vice -Pres., . -Gordon.
'Kirkland, R,11,. .3, arcknow;
a G. Anderson,R.R. 5, Wing. •
ham; . Mrs.. Lloyd Taylor, Exeter;
Hugh B.. Smith, R R 2, Listowel;'
• Larne kodges, R.R. 1,• Goderioh:
Roy „Strong, Gerrie; Russell T. ••
Bolton, R.R. 1, Seaforth; Bert
Irwin, RR. 2, Seaforth; Bert
Klopp, Zurich;• Gordon Richard- •
son, R:R.71, Brucelield; Kenneth
Johns, R.R. 1, Wo.odharn. ,
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•• C. II: Magee •
Secretary -Manager "•
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Miss C. .E..Plumtree
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t AssistanSecretary ' , •
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Fox information, call your
nearest director.
ordori. :Kirkland "
Telephorre:. Dungannon 89.4.7.11.,.
or our office in the Credit Union
Building, 70 Ontario Street,
Clinton, • Telephone HUnter
2-9751. ••• • •
smiluesiiimmemsposmosamigim
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FOR,
CERTIFIED
BINDER TWINE
'44, • •'•
STRONGER
Made from corlfully selected .
blends of hoed flber „ . uniform
from end to end no 11.inClusi
or thin spots, , •
SMOOTHER
Prbvepts delays by running.
thrtiugh hnotter without tangling
or breaking. Protected against
insects, rodents and -rot. Top qual4
ity twine Cit ci low Co•op,price.• .„„
1.kicknoini: District
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Phone 5169i1 2.5 Luckaow
4.4.044:4;4w40044/44.e0d1"
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