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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Clinton New Era, 1878-03-28, Page 3r MARCH 28, 187 ,we Tilt CLINTON ly EW ERA, HUMOROUS. • Stttek-ull people—glue-nmkers, A rousing time—Just before bvetlk^ fast. How t0, keep an umbrella," is the title of a newspaper rix cle. We know, Dig a hole sixteen feet deep and bury it. The Buffalo Express. replies to the y "`P•itteinfrrg:` ''elegrcclglea- ingtiryi:,• ` Gat " two constitute a riot T by pitying, "Not unless they etre married.'! A. ,negrb• teamster in Nashville de- clares that he must either gi°vice up' driv- ing mules or withdraw from the church, the two positions being incompatible. f • eigtoresvo eorner, Stana0wAnterbalailasitnikaslialaeraaareasarearesiereseereseareriatima. There isa bird called ; the gross -bill, � which breeds in the spruce, and pine i Items or interest to, the nttle• fence, of New Brunswick in the month f of February,- and some of these young. Father--+' Why doxt't yeti say yer Nutt were recently wound �n oAA Boit genes, Oharley'I" Chailey= cf' hy,'OW'Vermont. ' I .don't like the looks o' theta were," Vermont.'. , enol, A tram entered a house 'in A A Philadelphia boy of 12. shot anoth- Mass.`, the other day when only a Ivo- i er boy dead for refusing to divide a manat d , her child were ' present, and stink of nand with liim. �'he • oath•• catahin u i the latter threatened to. hill �, f'ul°milttxllrlrel: istt�ttll'r*d: y Y e C , it inT6 was seal; given sero toTi'ang o, ea at once. Thn mother went into another room, but instead "of bringing back food,. presented a pistol.. The tramp dropped �•T r ill he child and made his exit backward. Cr 01111 . KNOWI A little 'girl joyfully informed .bee mother the other day that elle had foetid out where they make }iorseM -she had seen a man in a shop just finishingone of them, for he was nailing on the last foot. -' •- �_:•...,� t�,4 MONEY `0' LOAN, ON EASY TERMS, Sly which the principal can be repaid in part or all at. any time dueling the terns of Loon. . • PLY To W. . I ]R �' Ali, AN. Clinton, Maroly, 1870.. ,Father Wolob, pastor .of the Cathelic. iihurch at ..Long Branch, "on-71.1.day, , _ ori, 7.t is' claimed, •h•a`swined `"°` Ii;ttle-lll-ary P s fetcher hnd=�goite -to I caused the-�url>ast of- two liquor dealers• ali',^iLrrc rh`nr apidity -of m-ot;on-within lii+'urope; -During his- absence`elm prayed •there; fee -selling whiskey-to•=a-w-ontait >a I the last. hundred years,_ . Atthatrate_ continually. for _% hi that ..God. would wise, went. to his church _'„drunk and it would soon overtake•a boy On an eta take Dare of him and bless hint, On danced the whole length of the aisle to rand. .. the tune of. St., Patrick's Day, which Y b` t'VhY d ' 3 f er •was being played -by the organa If there is an thfnd that. will, tempt • • , • his return rho ceased praying. for hire. :don't you pray'for father now1” asked 'her mother. "We have of him at°home. low and we can take care of -hint ourselves." . • a. paragrapliist to swear it is to thick g •A deplorable state of affairs exists in one lip joke bound to convulse thecoun > of the natinties of Minnesota. In .the try, and. .theri'f"forget it before he 'can pat two years 1t3i360 acres of giowine write it down.wheat bavebeen ruined by grasshoppers Rev. Joseph Cnok says that "Dar - A very little boy. had one day' done Wrong, and he was sent after paternal fey act ae, to: Rek in secret the tel aye.. nese of, his Heavenly Father. His of, ' fence was passion. • Anxious to hear 'What be Weald sayhis, trotter followed him to the door of his rooni, Cn lis in'n ascents she heard' him ask -to be made better, and elixir with childlike iii pli city, he addetla "'Load:, melte ma's tem- per better, too."` find now the -farmers,. who have 20,000 acres ready for seeding,, say that unless Win's hypothesis of- pangenesesinvolves , several untenable subsidiary hypdthe tiie grain is furnished ,them by thi ses," . Very few 'pegpie supposed: it was State, .they cannot plant more than ane. half; of the lima prepared, as bad as. theta • "Have yon, a Chaucer 1". asked a p o :' One of the meanest misers on .record young lady, looking in at, t.boak store: lives in Bueklend;. Matta. Although Thepolite clerk replied no, never..; ' Q 1 he is supposed to be the wealthiest Mian. used it ;; but there •was; a tobacconist's• across the street. "' • . ' • The pathway of life is full of dif ctrl ties, but Griggins says . he has about made up .his mind that one of the hard,. est things in the world for a man to do is to admit to his wife that he has been in the .wrong. ".Yes," said Smith the other night, " Columbus was ft great man . ' He; die- covered America. But dou't know as be did either," lie added after rt pause. • . little sixyear-old boy .was watch= ing the sunbeams as they shot through the window .and danced _diagonally •across•the room. " M '` amma,'said lie, °" wIiat are those: streksi" " Those, say Son," Elio, replied, " are sunbeams from Heaven."' " Oh, I •know ' what they are for`, :tuaxiladA, Jbiid the,little fellow, wlto had been .sliding down beams An: • the ' Mira "Ji merica-is,,such ..a.size :he could hard- . loft -"they are what :Go'd -elidesbabiess -.ly-hareanisse&it." - • # down -on w'hem. he -sends -'ens -to. folds!' ..• Teacher with reading class:=73oy' (reading)—" Aad as she' sailed down • the rives•- ." Teaolrer—" Why are ships called she 1" Boy(precociously alive to the responsibilities ,of his .sex)—"Bea cause they need men to. manage m' A New Yorlr piper=speafting:of',.the remarkable rise of n.. old; townsman, said, " he arrived in, California twenty -years tigo with Only one shirt g y . to his back ; but since then, by, continued ap- plication to business, he has accuingi laced ten millions. A. Nevada man tvho had seven 'borne ly daughters, for a box of.cigars got. the .and unflinchiing face, though the- -big localedito to ubrun tor ruor. that: he',; tearsfishes -his eyes: Then, in•a was a Reoperate e` old Misery ' who hail: solemn 'gone; he addressed `his: brother, 1"'Willie, which :$vouid .you rather '..eat lar, and all his denghterswere married seven barrels. of -gold buried i.n_his eek- .all .'of.,thitt musliard'"� rointin ` to the `,. off in four months from that date. • mustard pot,; "or have a bumblebee sting •yon in your eye ?" ;Some months When the weary and discoliraand ge'd• before a'bee had stung: Willie •near' Children of Israel caught sight of the . the eye, little Flarry remembered • Promised Land, the bliss`tll prospect the eye, teace, and -drew. hist Own resented was probably, the 'brightest' inferences, e er laid bare to the' gaze of ixtor�tal--• .,,�, e • A 'friend tells us the following dose - dote of his little .three:and-nhalf•-year- old Harry. :One day at dinner Har- ries .attention was turned to brother Willie: who thou h onl six -and u -half was . fond of condiments, and had been: allowed a dash of mustard on his'cold beef. He wanted mustard, lino. His' mamma assured him; that -he •would not like it at all, but the boy eeri1est- ly persisted in his request to try it, and .finally ' a , tiny morsel wan pre- sented to ,:hiin on' a fork• Harry swallowed it 'down 'With `.erect Plead. un per fertil Litt • you acre —Boston, fl the manabout to start: a newspa-., " The A,Ipiue Avalanche. canned with°his mind's. eye the In' the surntner of 1864 a .party of. field before .him. . tourists, while visiting the A les, climbed, boy, when your. mother turns' with great dificulty,.to an elevated and her knee, you're transparent. snow-covered plateatr; in order to obtain oak Because you see she a bettevr view.of.Sw'iss scenery, and con - puts panes . into .you. --N, Y: ilfatl.. And she tak N. Y. Graphic. situation for the These jokes are a away your wind -oh !— Rather an on-kneesy . b.—Yonkers GaKelte,, y to see through; 0 An Irish olergyt an preaching a ser- mon on death conciiicied with the fol- lowing observation i--••t•E But even death,. my.brethren, so well deserved by man- kind for their sins, the Wisdom of Pro• vidence has, in its paternal kindness, put at the end of our existenee ; for only think what Iife would be woe tit if death were at the beginning." • The simplicity of rural,conrtsli}:pwas .never•bettor illustrated than by th- fol. lows r""g anecdote :La" I'in gaup to be marrit, Peggy," said a hind to a serve lass whom ho had been in the habit o visiting. " Ay, are ye 1 And Co tvhoma gin T may be allowed to spelt'!" " To yersel' Peggy." , " Are yet" said Peg-: ,gy ; "I wish I had kceti'd sooner" . �. small, ragged, bo entered an ti �s^ A ,ma 1, gg yy ter house in Salem, Mage., the other day, and• stepping np to the proprietor,. asked: "W'Vill you sell me an •oyster for a cent? I watt it for my rack mo- thee. What t the matter with your niother," naked thea man, as he proceacla ed to 611 a can with the bivalves, think- ing he would help relieve a case of suf- fering. " She's got a blank eye," was Nn• _tilt, reply_ The benevolence vcllenae fatletl from the mind of iho oyster mall as lie put; one oyster in a paper bag.. 'A, wedding was unavoilably post- poned a few .ditys ago ottt'in Riverton, Iowa, becalm the 'bt`itlegi;oom, on bis way to " the residence of the ,bridc.'tt parents," in his happy .heedless mood, thoughtlessly and .Ignorantly sot his -foot upon a cat. One of those kind of oats that make their homes in the: sand- banks, and when trod inion, turn, and tcank-thc (am% of1amlet's i ; le which "smelled to heaven." The wretch. -•ed bridegroom walked away otlt into the 'l loneliest place he multi find to' °Meir esuti press cbun' Limberger cheese factory, in Montgom- era+ County. toast the beauty and richness of mid- summer below with the bleakness and sterility of midwinter around and above them.. .'In play they rolled. the moist snow into 1,trge•,balls, they crowded 'ib' over the .edge of. tlic plateau.: In. fall- ing :t +struck softer snow,, w.hicli imme- diately gave way, and 'semi an avalanche was tearing, :down the mountain side burying and 'destroying everything. in its course. As the handful' of snow be- came the irresistible. avalanche,. so the .eking cough with sore threat and ca- tarrh,. if neglected, speedily develops into that dread destroyer, cousttmption. In the early stageaa, Dr. '&le's,,Catarrh Remedy will e, ec'tir eur`e; though if the blood be effected or impoverished it mist be purified and enriched l,y T)r. Pierce's'Golden 'Medical Discovery, and he liver and bowels kept active by his easant.Purgetive Pellets. ' . Many who ,d d f life d had' b in the town he --has-' 'sent his boy. to sehoul this winter 'so poorly chid that the teacbei Ina been obliged to kee a needle' and thread earl take bite p out pf the school room and serv•his, rags. toge- ther'in order to cover his nakedness.. ° Jacoli Weber, a: Swiss brewer,:' has just died.at Toleds,. the victim of a straege and • horrible accident ` .. On Thursday he was, slaokiug a bucket of 'Blue to be used for disinfecting ..per peseta, 'when it exploded, filling his face,.; throat and lungs .with ° the, stufi:' 2t -fairly �,tt itq nay Into .liis \itals, and ef-ter tli-ree�-day eadellgirt- alto -died: ----a- . • The N. Y. World says that two Gera manfamilies in Elizabeth,.N'. J.,_nan,ed Trope, and Wallack, respectively, , have been partially subsisting on:dog-Meat,. and found it palatable, nutritive; and: very strengthening.•:. The story was. circulated --that in their .utter 'poverty they,were redueed to this Bort of food. 'Tlie fact° ap.pears. to be, however, .that the fainly dog of the Trepan was first saertfieed,.;in the'inipression that its fat would be greatly Strengthen :'Jr. Trope, who has been an invalid.. • The sick, man. .lik.ed the fleshy and roan lariats too, and thinks highly' of the recuperative pre - potties of flog -treat• A ease has beersbefore the Courts in Bryan, -Ohio, which is of a novel .char - actor ;and hrts excited great tnteiestaan that locality. , A` branch Of' -the Men- nonites, called the •Ai Church of God," placed one John , Lee t3-:-.under_;_.tlre "ban," forbidding -:all the members of his family speaking -to him:except when Strictly necessary, end not eating at the same, table with the culprit, until he repented, The wife, however,.' ?van: al- lowed:to keep house for her husband: For a year Leohty strove. to'overcome the scnteuce, •and then sued the Claureb authorities for $10.,00.0 for estranging his ri'ife'from hew ,sifter hearing the evidence a jury awarded him $2,.500.• •The noyelspectace of selling a negrt. to the highest bidder was witnessed. in the streets of Hickman, Ky., on Seam: - day. Mt. jams, Barksdale was the auctioneer, and as the,negro man stood ori the block, and the voice of the auc- tioneer rose and fell crying the bide, it revived reminiscences of old and by.• gone days. The colored people crowded around ;in anxious expectancy. The negro sold wtts'ono John (topper, who had been previously tried gad convicted, as a vagrant, and • the verdict ,of' the jury' was that he should' he sold into tie. h w. servitude for rise months., s ..the provides and directs.. David H. Brower, refusets to marry Miss Hynrs in Nashville, after ,at doe pt. ship of several years. The jilted girl's inotliet pit a revolver into her pocket elsatie o 1 0 air ter' can given up and went°otit to find ,' r He had tote by 'physicians mad frieude, t? ' been ibforrnel of her murderous i :tete- ,, - above 'e f•. :tea - their .0 l,estoratiott to the I mac fes. tiolr, and ort rtieetiing her i`1' the- street, Env, TOIVat May 8tI1, 1877. -he dodged behind u fist+viii, and devil; Dn,.PIE en, Blifl'alo, N..'Y.: tightly to him. The friemrl rlid nest like t i 5 b utt! 1n l D1411 it --I vats r s d so barricade, ' tae.. r i the clan er.of bests at nod I 4 I pleat • tt ut - ea� lee with o t.tmon ," r ` reicitr To .cta:'r - moon - .; . aaa� cauc�s� �'OR"'CJA$H, Cr00D .TtA for 80,; 40, 50, 80, and 75 cents per lb. .000D SUGAR, 11 Dunes Ser Dae dollar.. _.• GOOD. RAISINS, 18 ponndefor one dollar. A Ape assortment of China, Glass ard-Ctocker :ver • ehea+. - �` Z' Call and see stook before purobasing olaewhera, ,All kinds of Produce taken it exchange for goods. j'iu s 111Y$ ri ns co2ttstitErtljen lanai. • ' cu1�INo1IAME s arKENI;EAt. 'Clinton, X07..8,1877.. • jl ]Hf rjnuj and any other Linflammatory atoky I 1Y,t 1x191 disease saved in a pew 4oRre. ago, akin irritation,'ulcere Efrroymsipagn1y causeeaunlad aphaunni- dred other diseases are caused by an acid ferment, which produces iniii[mmatoryaotion; Bruntonla Ab- eorbent wiil,piositi�ety efface a ours iu a tewhoare, by aiisorbang the 5015 .iroison from iho eyetew. Sola, by druggists. Pried 60c A Sg deice it particular cases free, ' . , . W. Y. BRUNTON • . Lendoie, Ont. Awarded the Highest Modal at Vienna.' N. & A, :T. ANTHONY & CO.,. 591 BROADWAY, NEw roiuL Manufacturers, lmpotters and dealers in Engravibgs,-hrolnos and Fralrnes:.: STEREOSCOPES AtiD MEWS, .41bni z , G'rz>pho5CUp58 PIrotogrtrp1i , And kindred geode-Oelebritiee,Aortesses, &e PHOTOGRAPHIC - AIATERIALS... We are headquarters for' everything in the way of STEREOPTIOQNS and MA010 LANTERNS, tieing mppnfaotnrers'of the Miero-Scientilia Lentern,;Stereo- •.anop aeon, ra,v• =•p 1 •.5,• +. riser's -Ste= rgoptieon, Artopticon; .School Lantern, Family Lan. tern, People's Lantern,oaeh style beingthe best of its: class in the market: • Beautiful Phottigrahbic-Transpareimies-sf-.Statuary, ,and Engravinga for the win.' ow, Convex glass , Manu. faetu0ers of Velvet Frames for Miniatures, and convex; glass pictures, • , • Catalogues of Lanterns and Slides, with ; directions for using, sent on.applioation. , Ant enterprising man can .make money with a llragie.Latitern: • .Cut this advertisement' kir future re/evince. WISE .AN: .BROS.! :BR.OXER,S.' AND INSURANCE' ENT Epi ESTATE,AND �G S Money `Lenton Mortgages for 2, 3, or 5 Years. .MORTGAGES' 33OUc IT. . AMERICAN CURRENCY BOUGItT .ANQ, SOLO.. vo-NOTES OF HAND DISCOUNTED. aa, Interest at O'lier, cert allowed' on llelioaUa. " .Real Butate bought iin.t .solei an coma/Wien. INStrRANOE 'at LOW .RATES First.cl.issPtttx,.Lit?e;.and Ano nt::X Insurance Com: patties represented.. Wo rau'uow Rize loauir on first:oless sent Cy' at 8 per et OFFICE ON Ill I1ON STEtEFT, CLINTON., dv tfcn> t ltl,ROP . Crftnton, Avg. ST, 7877 threey • t 1 p , caped atom it by slipptlr,, out of his whir7li. left avis �wfh a: trotlblsonrts ciu h, overcoat, which he "left in Brewer's , hander.. Then Brewer' ran with all his might; and Mrs. Hynes chased hon,. while keeping up ra scattering fire with. the revolver. , She was itt snot captured 1i roan. bp�pc ice Rents in New York tiro likely units fer another serious fail this spring. Last year the gelnerr:l reduction was not less than fifteen per ce1t., and in 1876 it was at least ten per cent. It is expected that tt further ten per cent.. will have to be yielded this year: There ie Fi great fall fit the rents of fetuses, that casts' brought from »4,000 to $0,1'10() Per an•• num. 1lMany-of tlit:nt are now offeaed at $1,800 t.1.S2,500, and still hang oil curl, Those abominations of (lothetIn that. gradually sk iian8 gave nle tion. I tried •rev e(lvortised to eureti obtaining a Withoutoba ng ,Seeing your` GOTden• and Pleasant Purgative. Pellets. ttrlver- .used,. I concluded to 'try them, teal I found then to be all that y rte claim for thein.- . Aly restoration ha tied Inclosed tntnon rew•worse' aural (illy to, die with consUtit p• 'tel remedies, that are" consumlition, . tint relief" or l t ut;-alt.: dicitTDiscotery complete for over two years. fend $1.5() for a copy of your Sense 11iedieal Advertiser. JASON C. l)AR'tttor.ot11A Antlerieau News Items. Texatahas tt two-year old lisb • which wetg s etgh yiive pouritly. a iartnrent ilolrses ere In rent tleineirtl .n Francisco imports :vat Ot- neloI.s 1' ' g o , S } . e r t --ti sure indication of the number from tliSandwichands train e �gla . by :v been r• 1 people who have ee t t Drees wealthy eo e ship. Y l } cad to give up keeping separate esttiblis- It is thought possible, owing to a dis. Mont%, Business property down -town is 1 g.• lzR 'v ,..ss r1 than residence aro. pm is congregation, Rav. I)r, still more depie a s pro. ate with lr Talmage ay exchange his l3rooklye, peaty.. Stores on. Laver Broadway N. •Y., pastorship for a charge in. Lon- that rented for $30,000 fottr years ago don,'Eng: , can now be rented for .$7,000 to $1.2,OGo. e his clothes, but ever that pro* n did not prevent, the associated d t 1 from telegraphing all over the ry " the destruction by are of a • • UNDEOTAKING, r i1iE. StrilSCntliER IDEC03 LEAVE TO 13TAS!E :..,0 t8r50 and superior alaraot COFFINS,. CASKETS to the publin that he keeps eonstantiy on band. goffin•Trimmings and Eobea,- .1 tVlth aap:n+idid'nLAlISE.. Pt,.trx rtlrrr.rs al,t'sya en baud. I+artioK cin bo , op ,,led fu Guo hour, at 'r�;,.l �� •ryT arty ti Mee, at r�y •t •,-��v �i ^ ' CEIN PE II ( >i1 1 ,1TaSS. Than can be procured at any other place. • Afull stock. of FUB,1IITU1tE Always ou hand. THOS. STEVFNSO.N t':Inton,May 10,1877. anwarwrilawarrasa. -. serearnaser KN 13yrsdsdttt� fartl'Irr•rciicinq the inostI nabte trutlrq 005- tahted in the best nett mt book et or is�3uert, entitled trp�r■��p, p s1:.tx°-rltnsNitv.c2rov' p HYSELFPr9cconly$I. Betrtbyrnnrt I! 6 d Aw YY on receipt of prt+:c, Ii `. l V'it li I' Stn ttnro Deeltnc• FOR TBE SPRI WGOODSTTOPENEiTOI New Tweeds, STYLISH GOODS,. •� N w �'u r �.. ISH e -lats S • NewWorsted Coatings, S NewPantings BKUTIFUL GOODS ew Ili/ ire D"rh is r . .e . po. d hirts: ... New Heiser . e : Lustres .ems"Frill r' ALL SHADES f ° F+'R(' t fi ('t•FSFR YNTPA ID • ',; SES 00 'S H r dke c�.x e x� of � a s New Veilings, ems'.Corsets ,� CtIN'TON, Match '28, 1878.. AG.RICU-LTURAL WORKS. Climax 3Doble Cylinder Threshing Machines, Combination and Vibrator Threshing, Machines, Atte all kinds of AGRICULTURA] IMPLEMENTS alwayscmhand, To meet the,iarge and increasing demand for our celebrated Th eshit g'llfaohines,. front s • Parts of the .13ominion, • we Mise, by the- introduction of the. latest and most approver&' inacliinery into our works, greatly increased' our manufacturing facilities. We are therefore • in a position to fill all orders promptly.• • ir g y tested before leaving the.shop, and warranted to give Every tnacluit a is run and thorou 111 • • entire s#i`tist lotion.' . air Petard ordering etteav)xere'send for'Ci'st&lara and Posters:. Order early . N & CO CLi4 o GLASGOW IACI'IIEPSd ]f >s e THOMSDH`N ILLIAM M&UFACTURllVG • SOF. STRATF.ORD, • INCOFU'OILATEb 18''4. Successors to Thomson &• Williams, of Mitchell, .A. ricultural in _ ine Works • DIRECTORS. LtoliEItT TitOMSON, I'xunirii0Nr' A, R. WILLIAMS, VICE-PRES. ALEX. GRANT, $Eo.-f'n5As. 3'J.• REDF(IItD, W. 11IOWA.T, J, CORCORAN; W. MARSHALL.. •� MAltl'U1 ACTiJRET{S OP S nReapers,d nos Joh stoo harvesters, � I Mowers and Combined �lach� n ��F� x, trpatgefl'tsrlett'd n ty r . " is.rervott an( Jtysieal'Debility, and the eritnesg 7 y ;• t tr ° rrnrnffilliettlr Lail-untold-miaories,therresult5_- a st STi r�JQ ±.G ,.:.F7 iC1 v t 1 tr0_f3f%PQ I%� 1ltrrelroni, anti contains more than 50 Original pre. s,:ri3)tion0, nay oho of whioh.is worth the price et tie Bink. This -book was written by the Most ex t u noand' probably the ram talcilfutprattitkaner fn heel+•a toWhaniwnattwordedapole nud,leer'. tit, int,.•iial by the Net (analrfrdic:il <l:'tso0Eation. A 1 ,tuplld, illnstte,d with the vet- snot Nt 1 L;'{tririetq,a-••a mot--rr1fart att,t'iomia.*'� �'� s -se race to all,_ bract f t ..r. nrrd.e. A+idret~r1 f`4 tiTI"nl I,:, I<o. 4 Tlril. Y .YSELF . tl:t•!h $ o Roston, Mase. Machines, Grain Crushers, Straw butters, Plows, Gang Plows, &C.. Builders "of' Steam Engines and Boilers, all sizes,, WATE11 NIllut:i„3 AND A1I, Iri`'f).$ OE MILL MACHINERY. Contractors for (Triol and Sate Mir& com lets, ., Aleofor• Water Works .for espies, town* mkt t'lllitrlo�:r,. on the yfolty R'ystent. Cheoee' Factory Machinery a &pteialty. 1,1)1)R t'ga filOUSt.1 ,6. VILLA U8 MAIiJrACrTtBtNG acre 0110104, Feb, 0, 1370 b '