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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Clinton New Era, 1878-02-28, Page 6i TIIE CLINTON' NEW W ERA, FEBRUARY 28, 1878, HUMOROUS: Light work—Sll,wiug the air, What is Haat which is neither flesh nor bone, and yet has four Anger's' and a thumb'? A glove. Why is a prosy lireaa er like. the middle of a wheel 1 Because the fellow around him are tired. Teacher—' Now, let me •'bear you ri peat your history.' Pupil—' No use; ':History repeats itsel°." Why wak 'Adam-thnrswittest~rlrnu-er in the world 1 Because he was th. first in the human race, It dotsn't pay to prophecy; if you. get it tight nob xly remembers it ; if you get it wrong nor ody'forgets it, A oerta'n schoolmaster :advertises. that he will keep a Sundy school twice a week—Tuesdays and Satur- days. It bus._keen uverre.d'tint u lady with a -diuwont' ring will `scratch, her. no'so, in a given period, four times •ees often as any other woman. Au exchange asks : ' Why is it that editors • never commit suicide ?' Likely it is because the druggists won't, sell strychnine on long time,• Any man can ' point a moral,' but it takes a boy to ' adorn a; tail.' Give him a tin kettle .and a dog, and the thing is more than half accomplished.. Sabbath school teacher '..To whore does the earth belong ?' l ' To .God, sir.' Original little chap, dubiously—, Well, I dinna ken,'but ma faither , has a quarry in't r �j • Little girl to visit6r—' How' • lou g are you going to stay here?' ' Why, my little dear ?' "Cause I'm hungry, and ina says we shall have dinner as soon as that dreadful nuisance goes away.' The mother had cut her little daughter's hair to make ' bangs.' Sur.- veying her own work, she said : 'Bes- sie, y ectercley you looked as if "•you bad no sense. To -day you look as if your mother had none.' A little bit of a thing, who had just got back from a party, was asked by her mamma, bow she had enjoyed herself. _ ' Oh, mamma,' she said, ' I'm so full of happiness, I couldn't be no' happier unless I was bigger.' ' Jnlius, what's a la_titudinitrirn?' 'A. jaty-ttidy-what 1"A latitudinarian.'. 'A. latyterdemariurn, ldlr. Snow, is a man who ascertains de sereumference of de 'lietnnefear, and brings • de axle= tree ob de earf opposite to de hubber arf ob de universe.' yi - Temperance and Intemperance The Nissouri township council have decided to do ;away with store liquor licenses for the a current year. A. bartender ill Itiebalond, Va., neg.. lected to registera glass of .ale which he sold, ;anti was, fined $40.30 for the oinrission, Dr. Adam Clark, the celebrated ,Trish Methodist oonimentator, said: "Strong drink is not o)lly the.,devil'8 way into .4 An, -but man's w.a, t n "I resort to wine to stimulate my wit!," said a youngependthritt to air old one. "Ah l" replied the veteran, " Tuan is the way I began, but not, I have to resort to my wits -to get my - wine:"• ,«, The NZu.rltby ,:movement has taken such root in Whitehall 'that .all the menibei•s of five fire companies and'of onemilitary company have'signed the pledge. ,Liquor seller's tear up their, li- censes .before applauding audiences, •'Uhe,aveia;e rurmbe'r of drinking sa- loons . throughout the ' United States is said to be one for every. '280 inhabi- tants, counting. men, women aid ebil filen. New York State furnishes 23,- 854 of .these saloons, which is nearly twice the number of any other State, - It'would'seeni from the following statement,• taken from a reliable Eng lisp journal, .that the use of the' "nil.' ,conal beverage" is becoming less in Englund. Of beer • making, it is said that the great`brewers, Bass &:.Co:, wet .- pose to•brew in the coming year 00,000 quarters of Malt lessthan last year, and that the Doted firm of Allsopp & Co.. have reduced their` brewing-.. by 30,000. gpartors. Well, I suppose you have been out to took at Texas; did you see any- thing of our old friend out there?'. 'Yes, gone deranged,' Gone deranged 1 .bow ? What does he do? Real crazy?' Yes, indced ! he doesn't know his neighbors' hogs from his own. A youngster was once desired to state Ms views of the cause which led to the downfall of the Boman Empire.' In reply be wrote that after mature reflection and extensive reading he .con- cl•ndt•d that the cause of the ruin of that gigantic Empire was that ' its bottom fell out.' •Rather a new -view Of the: members of the'" Band.,of'Hope." The subject. • whole moral aspect of the town became An old-fashioned minister waspreaeh: aha igei1 sobriety was soon ;in the as- ing in a tight, unventilated ohurcb,.in cendancy, as frequenting"public -houses ' which, by some means, a window was ceased to. beconsidered resppectable, left pas tly-open. .A good deacon, dui- The stumbling block having .been re ing the sermon, closed it. The minis- moved, the work •of philanthropy and ter stopped short, and turning. to the religion progressed. "I might fill col deacon; said in solemn .tones. 'If I umns,'•says Mr. Griffith, "with the was preaching in a jug, 7 believe you mention of .the. fruits, of those' labors. would put the cork in.' I shall only mark out one for especial An enraged fathe;had jerked his pro- notice, viz., the increased; influence ,th Oauada Colmpauy Lands. ' Joseph Wall some time ago kicked bis wit'o to death while he. was intoxl cateyi. • He. pleaded guilty to "man- slaughter, and Judge Davis, • of New York, recently sentenced,biro to ',fifteen yearn' imprisonment. v. The Court' ad- vise him •to_take .steps to Ling a action against the parties'who sold him liquor and-sne for danlages for the sup- port of 'his' children, now doubly' be- reaved. Dr. Reid, of, Glasgow, says: `Permit me to give,S. single instance, :allowing: what an. advantage abstinence gives to a minister in dealing .with intemj'ie'i- ance. The ;Rev, • John Griffith, M.; A., Rector of Neath, tell' us that a Quaker friend did. much to 'enligh.teniaiid to strnct him. Meeting with Alia .young philanthropist shortly after :entering inion his present charge, he was con- gratulated by bim on his zeal in attack- ing the sin of drunkenness, ;which so' ,generally 'prat ailed'in the parish, and then, asked, " Wilt, thou Jell .me bow many, converts thou bast had from drunkenness r '. I.fear:ilone," was the reply; ":Well," said. 'he, " thou ,hast tried what preaching will do, and thou bast tried: what lecturing will do;`sup- pose thou dost try What example will dor The. appeal Vas irresistible, It rnay' now be asked. what ;brave been the results of his •.professing teetol,alism. Eight hundred persons in the 'course of .eighteen, months signedthe pledge; seven: hundred -.young people 'beoame ALIST OF LANDS IN 111/11011 NOR SALE DT the Canada Company may be seen at the, oliloe of i mulersigue.d. U RADE. Clinton, 401.17, 1871. TO_ THU PU DLIC. Out attention has been attested to a " Minton" of the "Dominion Organ Company," pf Bowreanvillu, published in the N1.w EEA of the loth inst. In reply, we beg leave t' state that no member of our firm has 'e for yet bought or .sold an instrument Made by the so -stilled "Dominion Organ Company," end, at present, has no desire to do 50. - arliwwrinaiittilinaily'been-appiied-to-by-onr-ARontoo, for a 1ow.prleed; (Mom= Organ, and qtr answer hoe invariably -been,'" iWo do Vol ot maks thein. wo candor at prescut anpply all the dolnunds nada µpoo ue for first -oleos instruments, and are' determined to continuo to leave to others. (who make a siaoialtY o1. ihat Plass of goods) the manufacture of low-priced, common ArBans,o .. Some of our lignite, to , oblige a suatnxuer, may have. poi$ an. Organ, not of our make. We, of course, have no responsibility in. such a ease, All instruments mnnufaotured by Its are llrot olitslilix morbanical arrangement and 'execnth:4. gad arse in Assign and tone, They have the name of our Um 50-. scribed on front of name board, and are sold with a Ave gra solugsdi,,bdlalui.b;y1fGo,,r7, pryOpcsanprtoepo'h8wnh7o5ic.hp agtutDriywehowom atohkifutlredumgoeon utsr • WOFIEVJ & 00.. • PROF. SALTR, ^ BEGS TO I'NTIAIATE TO Tan P'CTXILIO GENI$R. ALLY of Clinton and neighborhood that ho is wa- gered to give lessons on the Plano and Organ, and alio. in the cultivation of tbo voice in singing elass instruc- tion. having been under the instruotion of Prof. flax. tec,•o1 New York, whose eystern he mon, he feels Oona dent of giving ontlre satisfaction. Apply at the rest- deuce of list. Mr. Oourtf.co, B. p, I,t. Oltnton, Nov. 28, 1877 Ca[ia�a l��rlCllitlll' I Insuriice a CQm ll b _ pY ELON SNELI,, Fardwich; . TS O Ao7'.NT"roir-• TUE "AnOVE `0C 1PANY= .L Farm Risks taken at 75 cents per 4,100, for the term of 8 years.. This Company insures against lose by,are or damage by lightning. • , ISOLA l .D ItES1DENUES .. Will also be taken bthe,above Company: Fordwiah,' Fan. 17, 877. yoking son across his knee and" with profession of total abstinence confer ad on me, potas an individual cltize., but as a minister of the gospel. avow- ing rnyself•on theside of t• al atbmt•: nence,my influence iilerea: d tenfold." ous little teeth.Hello l what're o , biting nie for ?' exclaifned the father, ✓ A S1A1S?.J.I EXi' WeII, dad, who beginned thie'ore'war retorted the urchin. A farmer was boasting to Sam about the speed of his horse which, he t - acrid, would trot a utile inside of three minutes, and fallow it for three ruin= ores. -`A. mile in three t» ibutee am t much to brag about,' said Sate; ' Why, the other day I was up to 8----, six -teen mike Ell: Just as. I started fro home a shower came on. The struck on the back part of the and the moment -it struck Kate a cut with the whi trotted, scarcely touchin to the ground. She k with the shower, ' with water, but great vehemence commenced' 'operating on the ' soft, same place' et the ur- chin's person, when the young she dug incl the parental legs with his +enonl- A flesher, ing, was r Lochee night' age B ain agon, lilt .old , away she her fore -feet t nip and tuck e wagon was filled a drop fell on me.'. rly one Sunday morn- urning to bis home in ter closing his Saturday usiness in Dundee. The voy-' omeward was not quite plain ing, and having fallen in with a amp post he fondly embraced it, and was found with it in his arms by a policeman who, after shining his bull's- eye on the ftesher's face, said : ' What axe -you .doti g ei u -ea ho14iri on by that lamp -post on the Lord's morning?' ' What's that your business?' An Pnglishm in Rowe the'o . er day,'and.as a service was going o', be satquietly down, ing his h: en the ground beside him After ' aiting a little. ,'while, and as there :seined: no immediate prospect of th ceretiOdr cofyibg, tq ori MO* bf3' 0111t lip would gos, aria rcaghed; for. his' ha ,�Is°uti was steppefii by atl'tintieen arm which .grasped him (rpm. .behind. Thinking that probably some 'custodian of :the -church wished him to remain till the conclusion of 'the service, , be again waited. Presently he again thought of going, again reached for his hat, and again the unseen arta firmly prevented him, Convinced that the service was really some important one which his leaving would disturb, the. Englishman again. waited for about a quarter of an hour.. At the expiration of that .time, he determined' to start in spite of etiquette.' So he again reached.. for his hat; Again the hand grasped' flim, but ast ho determinedly resisted bili retaining efforts, a voice behind him exclaimed in 'English : ':I,.beg your pardon, but that is my hat :you're taky zti'YSii' this was the fact, our,hero.. had been detained all this time because each time he wished to go be had reach- said Andrew ; this is an attld freend I ed in mistake for the hatof another o' mine, and has done me mons a stranger, placed in .close pt'ollimity to glide service. Gae awa risme and his own. --London :E'Pomtiner. 9tNATIo"Ni — went into a church. read your Bible, and there you will y.... Of a man in s ueakin `boots it cannot For while the tamp holds on to born, q g The greatest sinnet may loth. find -- .be -said, 'He hath no music in his solp.t ItVIO TGAGES,. • IN!DTI S� AND OTHER Good' Socuritles. rurchased. Vv w FABRAN 47: Clinton, Nov. 9, 1874. : IflNEY T:O LOAN,. • : ON EASY ,TERMS, Qis vv6tcl► rile prilicipal. eau, be' repabil• In apart e►F. all a any tine during' the teri!n Oil. Loon. • ajei6:Y•TO FARRAN:. Canton; 3Sdrah, i870. ' • AGCY oar QUEEN, : ISOLATED RISK, brtn • 'STANDARD; INSIMANCE COIVIPAN Btpks' of all doporiptione :taken at Clinton, Feb. .7,1878. CONSOLIDATED CUSTOMS CC] STOMS DEPARTMENT, • OTTAWA, Oct..12, 1877. A WTHORiZRD PI800UNT 019 A7II1RIOAN ,IN. . 1� vor0ua ntitllfurther ;tattoo, 8peroont.. J. latriSQN, • Commissioner of Custom*.. _ Notice off' •R.eiuoval. T. BIDp4 .,coi.iBE, Watch and Clock faker, • J]W.ELL•EIR,: &o,, Would resp@oduay annotlneo to his egpt0alefp and .the , public generally, that etnoe the Idle disastrous fire, he..I have pleasure in . info mein hapaenttr4athee r g the young 'gentles $tore Breis occupied by Kasen 8. Palliser.d Co„•a amen of Clinton and. vicinity that I have- • 1t'hore he will keep On hand a gel .et of Y! just Clocks:'iNatchos, lswolry,.gad.S.ilfaxhiaCe,.eLaU,,.kinds, • • opened to day a lot of es ecially nice goods -for. r. Which he will call at reasonable rates. Repairing of " v v every desoripttou promptly attendod to.. IDDLEOOAIBE ALnrtnx 8'rrsnraT;ren Trade,i R the' Spring ... const•Yl s i g of new patterns in Olfutou, Jap. 24, 1878, SPRING z= Torr TWEEDS",AND' COATINGS: •Tlie:winter PCI'CA.CTOEY. being so verymild and heavy goods being in such: slow emand i that I have' concluded to 'TIRE'SCOSORIRER DESDIEs To J,tE'"ruint IiIB . !. n• 1• sincere thanks• for the liberal .share of patronage afforded him, and would also intimate that he has, dor.. •1 ' ing the peat winter; laid in a large stook of first-class brin cods, that will sell -A� o a lot . ' of very inaterial,.and to now prepared to MAIM and put in, the -MOST • St 'E.k3,IOR PUIVIP'S, -fine FUR, HATS, all shades and rices about 25 p Of every deseriptibu,•on the B4OnTEST NoTSCE, and ct on the most. rpaeonableterms, per cent less than last' �` . •;, "pent :.ears Y ices: • .y p Remember the place-iieltt .door to �., • DsIatliesou's Blaoksmlth Shop.. ' ..�A 471 E•ERGUSON. • I anticipate a: large. increase" m; m . already large Minion. Apr1119,•18'97: + y >•! WORTII , KNOWING Tailoring business, as„ I ;have• '• engaged Mr. P. ; WHERE; TOGiET,C19AlD .. '' !` • . •• � , Kennedy's . s valuable services •far another .-:.ear' : as G 11• en 1 i1 n� I and e C Cutter nate ca assure hems eve • Ow* 'rates: RTDOUT'. MON AN1t Or CANADA $4,000,0.00, 0 IN T 0.0 AGE NCY. Interest from Four to Five. per bent allowed. on Deposita. M. ,LOUGH, Agent. Clinton, April, 1876.. 1-y • MOUY1tcastt 'S rpm SUISSORIIIER RESPECTFULLY DEW; TO aL inform the inhabitants of Canton and surrounding, ooudtry that he has started hie NEW SAStu M,•ILI/.• , 017 71t11r.01T STI E1;Z',. Opposite the Groat Wooten Station Anais prepared 40 • Cut Log8,on.shares; or clseap for Cash,. ne hss also LI,,I�nst�men Of al kinds i dss 'I on hanyd, for sale. 31E. • otiwset's,:an.fts Tele. x OYSPTE•R•S, ,A. or: Also, choice EI Y GROCERIES Confectionery, Cakes, Biscuits, Caaned Goods,' Choice Tobagoo, Cigars, Le. gar O'BTERS ineasorl by the can or 81811. DWatw burns, TatNCE AAd•PORK' q A: T.'SALT, Clfnton, oe1. 95,1877. YIOTORIIL RirIEET mecila GOOD;, TEA for 80, 40, 50, 60; and Iii mints 'porlb. 'GODS SUGAR, 11 pounds for ono dollar. • GOOD RAISIISi 18 pounds for one dollar. ' A fine'aseortment et China Glass a d. Crocker vex ' Chea f � Yl p Call and see Steel, before purchasing .el ewbore. All , kiddy of Produce taken in •exoban: for goodea FREI4H OYSTERS eonsta tly on hand.. OUNINGRA( Clinton, Nov. 8, 1877. • WISEM at every effort will be • mads by" --him to give then: perfect 'satisfaction.: Please •" give us a call.;.• ...-;: ••As•'i�e t':zuo�t�i is our •stock'=fakingseason,�lin- , tend giving large.'reductionin prices on all; •_ classes of goods. 'People desirous of laying ' g °� in BROS., large stooks - of goods for futur. a use.; will be sure K:ERS,,• of'. bi .. _,•'bar ains. Come andget. what ,ou,.want, g g .'. _ Y y •� E iSi" -. ATE AND INSURANCE AG N, at the lowest' • ri .ces: y' Lont on. Mortgages for 2, 3, or 5 Yeasa.. 51012TGAG1:S 130E"Grli7`. AMERICAS CURRENCY BOUGNT'AND SOLO. sa. $0T1'1S OP, 11A. l) DISCOUNTED, a interest at 6 per cent allowed on .dips ilv , Ileal Estate bought anc4 sold on commission.. INSURANCE at LOW RATES First -algae FIRE, LIFT ;'and Acomr:vs Insurance Con. . panfes represented. wa.eanaowgiveloansonfirst-olasssecur ty at 8 per et OFFICE ON • HURON STREET, CLINTON. vvosic MAN ken0b1: Clinton, Aug,: 21,1877 ENDERTAKING Tin SUBSCRIBER BEG$ LEAVE TO STATE to the public that he keeps constantly on hand a largo and superior oleos of l COFFINS, CASKET'S, • • ..' �-_Akan—• ' Coffin Trimmings and Robes, With a splendid REMISE. P5„c1NN dorms' always on band'. Parties can be eupplied In One benr,'at .hay time, at TEN I'iER.4CENT LESS • Than ban be procures at any 'other sloes. A. full stock of FURNITURE: Always on hanti. THOS. STEVENSON, Olintbn,"kias 10, 1877. KNo1Niiylendii8fnrblo prctl0ing therea4Itnan truth4non- tallied in the•bcst.mcdioal Sbool;LkTi ev'enRESissuRVATIONed, entitled TH��E•E I'rtcocnlyy$1. Sontbytnail. LFon recefpt of pone. It treats of ExbanetedVitallty, Pr2maturo Denlino.. Nervoun and ehyskat Debility. and the endless •ctnoomitnnt ills and `untold miervioathatresult • ncerefrotti,anacontains morotisan6OOriginal pre- sail shone, nnq one of which Is•worth the price of the sok. This book waswrittcnbythe most ex., tela veattciprobably the most skilful practitioner' • to Ainotiea, to whom was awarded agold anti jaw. ' ellod metal by the, National medical Aesooiation. A. Pamphlet, ulaetrated with the *cry , finest btecl 2nrtavitsas—a mgr, HEAL vel .of art an beauty— n beauty— taut rites, to all. sena 1•r it at oho. Address F STIIIEY Duren? L !� ii 1NsrSt, II, , ho. oil., � S�+■ r L.tcli St., biusttlu, Dltaed. WATEX4LOO: HOUSE. CLTNTODI , ',Feb. • 14, 1878 NEW 1 THE UND1i RSIGNED HA"V,E NOW ON HAND IN TIM Premises formerly, occupied by the late J. B. Raceyi A LARGE AND SELECT ` STOCK OF CHOICE Which they offer to' the public at thelowest remunerative rates. Also, Ouineeset, Porter * Bass's, Youn er's, anti Cosgrove's Bottled Ale; Agents for-babzlet and Carliny's l�alf and quarter barrels, Inwood; Grant's Spring Brewery, :lI'amilton; and• Sole Agenta,for t)ee Cloclericl, li'rewery: All Orders •PromP Y ...tl Attond.ed to:' - . SIIEPPARI & L00PER. OI INTON,' June 8, .1S76 REMOVAL. "JAS. TWITCHELL, Harness Maker, Saddler ' &e.'1 • While thanking his many friends for the liberal patronage bestowed en him in the pact, would inform them that he hat removed to big new Store, in V1CT01tIA,fLOC1f, where he .will be pleased to meet all his old custofnerr, and as many new ones as niay favor him with their pat• renege. He has onband a largo stook of Heavy 'and• Li .:ht HARNEss, +• • . ori )lobes, horse Rionlcets, Wimps, die., • r�County.. tr .�the ou t 'W if . e•w 1l sell as e asanymaker in C hie h t e l Aeon .� ..�•.w...,,,, •. INSi'kC•TYQN OP STOCK AND PIZI;i•,L"`S SOLTO):TLZ7. ROOMS TQ LET,—Several rooms to let, at reasonable rates, suitable for .offices, dc., in. , the story above thea 'pp, in the building ltnown as Victoria Sleek. • . Ajway'g on hand, first and second class SHINGLES whtoh •will be sold cheap for cash, :Clinton,. Ian. t4, 1878. .