HomeMy WebLinkAboutClinton News Record, 2014-02-19, Page 44 News Record • Wednesday, February 19, 2014
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Occupational forces invade my temple
iolent, powerful and
V
plain gross - the
battle has begun for
conquest of my body. It's an
age-old struggle, involving
malignant evil and large quan-
tities of mucous. Yes, I have
been invaded by hostile forces,
and need to share my story
with the world.
As both a victim and a
reporter in the field, the follow-
ing account may be considered
bias, but it is important the
truth as I see it be known.
While I am unsure of when
the insurgent germs crossed
the border into my internal ter-
ritory, they quickly made
themselves known early last
week.
The offensive started with a
scratch in my throat, which I
attributed to poor life choices.
However, even after a few days
of relative inactivity, it soon
became a full body ache. From
there, the violence escalated
quickly. On the lung front, each
individual cough shredded
Column
Gerard Creces
innocent soft tissue like broken
glass.
In the sinus peninsula, pres-
sure has been mounting from
all sides. Now it is to the point
where standing or sitting up
quickly sends painful shock-
waves
hockwaves through the head.
Despite repeated attempts to
clear the air, no amount of
blowing, sneezing or other
evacuation tactics seem to
work.
Meanwhile, bones and mus-
cles continue to resist attempts
to move freely, making me a
prisoner of war, trapped both
in and as the battle zone.
Reports came in as early as
last Monday that enemy germs
had occupied the narrow
stretch of throat between my
mouth and my chest. Special
forces were sent in to take
down the source of the inva-
sion, including oregano oil and
vitamins, but they proved inef-
fective against the enemy's
superior powers of
multiplication.
Suppression tactics were
then employed, with large
gulps of NyQuil and Neo -Cit-
ron, as well as over-the-counter
capsules designed to mitigate
the damage. Sadly, they only
sedated the host and did little
to stem the tide of destruction.
Now, I'm trapped in a world
of hand-sanitizer and tissues,
greasy eucalyptus salve and
chicken soup - all trying to stop
the offending germs from
invading others like me and
liberate myself in the process.
Only time will tell if I am
successful.
The question is - why now?
Why, with nearly four
months of snowy weather
behind us, am I being invaded?
The germs have nothing to
gain by it, except to make my
life miserable. Truly, this is ter-
rorism in its purest, vilest form.
But, I am a freedom fighter. I
will not rest (mainly because I
can't) until my body is free of
this occupational force. Others
in my situation have suffered
greatly for about a week before
being freed again. But in this
rock and roll world we call local
news, one week is a long, long
time.
Say a prayer, lock your chil-
dren inside, do not touch any-
thing and wash your hands
until they are raw. Slather your-
self in salve and dress in layers.
Eat raw garlic if you have to -
anything to keep the terrorists
at bay. Once they find a foot-
hold, there is no turning back
until they run their course of
devastation.
As the warm/cold cycle
intensifies the terrorists will
redouble their efforts.
I urge you all to be prepared.
Be sterile. Be safe.
CHSS teams up with United Way on mental health
Gerard Creces
For the News -Record
Central Huron Secondary School
is teaming up with the United Way
of Perth -Huron to address student
mental health issues head on.
On Feb. 21, 20 -year old writer
and comedian Kevin Breel will be
speaking at a school assembly,
advocating for mental health
awareness. CHSS is doing this in
partnership with Listowel District
Secondary School.
Staff advisor for CHSS student
council, Julie Hohner, said the stu-
dent council came up with the idea
of promoting mental health aware-
ness, as it is a "huge concern for
teachers and young people these
days."
Last year, a former CHSS
graduate committed suicide, and
the students behind next Friday's
assembly want to take
preventative steps to ensure
nobody has to deal with a worst-
case scenario.
""We chose this project because
depression and mental health is a
serious issue and impacts the
lives of students at CHSS", said
student council vice president
Nick McGregor in a United Way
press release. "Students with
depression should not feel the
stigma that goes along with it.
Other students need to
understand that depression is a
medical condition and shouldn't
judge other students or bully
(them)."
There has been a brighter light
shone on the issue of teen mental
health in the media in recent
years, much of which a result of
widely reported teen suicides, like
Amanda Todd or Rehtaeh
Parsons. As more cases of mental
illness make headlines, more
people understand how serious it
is, Hohner said.
"There is definitely more
awareness and understanding
that it is a legitimate illness," she
said. "Students are more open-
minded about it. It's good to have
(Breel) here as someone who has
been through it."
The United Way is funding the
cost for the speaker through a
2014-15 Youth Grant.
During the assembly, there will
also be community organizations
present to help educate students
and answer questions. Hohner
said the Canadian Mental Health
Organization is confirmed, and
they are also looking to Huron
Perth Mental Health Crisis
Intervention to attend as well.
This is the first year for a mental
health consultant at the Avon -
Maitland board, and the school
does have guidance services and
addictions counseling available to
students.
The hope, Hohner said, is for
teens to be open to talking about
mental health issues and for
adults to understand teens need a
safe place to go, talk and get help.
The assembly begins at 1:30
p.m.
Call
1
rna?
We can help
THE
LUNG ASSOCIATION'
When you can't breathe,
nothing else matters.T""