HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Wingham Times, 1908-10-01, Page 82
THE WINGRAM TIDIES, OCTOBER 8, 1908
TO ADVERTISERS
Notice of changes must be left at this
office not later than Saturday noon.
The copy for ohanges must be left
not later than Monday evening.
Casual advertisements accepted up
to noon Wednesday of eaoh week.
ESTABLISHED 1872
IIE WINGIIAIII TIMES.
H. B. RLIAOTT. PIIELIsuIiR AItD PROPRIaTOn
THURSDAY, OCTOBER 8, 1908.
NOTES AND COMMENTS
agent of such candidate. The bribery
provisions in the act are made mnoh
more severe. Canvassiug by perilous
residing ontaide of Canada is made an
indictable offence. Printing ofli:oes are
required to give the address of the print-
er and publisher on every glass of print-
ed material leaned in connection with en
eleotion. The making of a false state-
ment with regard to the personal char-
acter of a candidate renders the person
making it liable to a fine of not leas than
$100, Contributions for political pur-
poses by any company or aaaooiation are
made an indictable offence..
Make Aroh Hialop member for East
Huron.
It is time for a change in representa-
tive from East Huron. Vote for
Hislop.
The whole Conservative campaign is
one of slander and abuse. This kind of
campaign should not defeat the Laurier
Government.
An increase of $141,000,000 in tbe
valve of aur export trade in twelve
years, as compared with an increase of
$60,600,000 in 28 years, has not come by
chane. It is not all the result of con-
dition the world over. It is very large-
ly due to the inauguration of a period
of peace and the vigorous carrying out
of a wisely conceived polioy of construc-
tive statesmanship, Do you desire a
continuance of the work so well begun?
Vote for Hislop and send a supporter to
the Laurier Government.
Politioai orime will soon become un-
popular in Nova Scotia. Bayne, a Con-
servative worker, is now awaiting trial
in Oolohester for debauching the electors
with liquor iutrodneed into the riding
as "ohoioe tomatoes." Now the Con-
servatives have retaliated and secured
the oonviotion of Daniel McLaughlin,
chairman of the Board of Revisers, for
his failure to return the name of eight
properly qualified Conservative voters.
He has been fined $400 and $104 costs,
or in default he most go to jail for
three months.
The Vermilion (Alberta,) Signal, says:
"As a contrast to his magio lantern
views purporting to disclose the infamies
of the department of the interior in oon-
notion with the disposal of timber
limits it might be suggested to Mr. Ames
that he procure a few pictures .of the
crowds lined up before the different
land offices in the oonntry on the morn-
ing of Sept. 1, awaiting their turn to
secure homesteads and preemptions out
of the 30,000,000 mores whioh became
available under the terms of Hon. Frank
Oliver's land bill, and throw them on
the screen over the title of "The land
for the Settler." .
"When the grand aggregate is made
up, and the new duties on household
necessities, clothing and implements,
are compared as a whole with the old,
it will be found, we think, that there
is a sensible lessening in the burdens
resting upon farmers. This is par-
tieularly true of the Northwest, be-
cause in that section of the Dominion,
owing to the fact that the oonntry
there is in process of settlement, the
implement bill is relatively larger than
it is in other sections of Canada. The
fact that there is a deoreere at all in
view of the atrennone efforts to secure
an all round increase, is cause for
sincere gratification. -Farmer's Sun.
In the five years ended Jane, 1896, the
exports from Canada of agricultural
products of all kinds, including animals
and their products, amounted to $254,-
7M,654; in the five years ended June,
1906, they had inoreaaed to $535,418,-
297, or a gain of over $280,000,000
under Liberal rule. In other words, in
the 'net Conservative five years the ag-
ricultural exports averaged only $50,-
000,000 a year, while the average for the
five Liberal years was $107,000,000, or
considerably more than double. So, too,
as regards domestic prodnoe of all kinds,
including agricultural products. In the
Conservative period the exports of such
produce totalled $520,907,274, as against
$1,035,174,328 in the Liberal five years.
The Montreal Witness remarks with
mnoh truth in regard to the wholesale
mud -throwing of• the Opposition: -
"As for the chargee that have been
made, and the defence that has been
offered, it ie to bo remembered that it
is easy to put an indictment in a single
sentence that it would take volumes of
evidence and intricate examination of
facts to disprove, so that the mere de-
claration by a political prosecutor that
nobody rose in meeting to accept his
challenge and disprove his charges
malt be taken as reserve. More, in-
deed, oan be put into en innendo than
any amount of denial oan wipe out. It
is not sate, therefore, to assume that
beoaase agroaat deal of mudis
thrown,
,
some of It C>`ught to stick."
The Dominion Government has
oaused a summaty of the new law re-
lating to elections to be published
Same of the principal provisions are
the followi,rg: That it is made a orim•
maul offenoe, punishable by a heavy fine,
to take down or mutilate or deface any
pcoelamation, notice, 't oters' list or other
doournent required to he posted up
hider the provisions of the hot. No
ptraota eau make a oontributicn CM be.
half Of arty candidate except through the
The Laurier administration doesn't
claim infallibility. Where there are so
many civil servants arid so many con-
flicting interests, it would be amazing
indeed it 'there were not some public
undertakings, some expenditures of
publio fnnde, or some ogees of ineffi-
ciency that could be honestly oritioized.
We must realize that the marvellous
and rapid expansion of this country de-
mands a corresponding magnitude in
the administration of affairs in the dif-
ferent departments. It must also be
borne in mind that quite a large per-
centage of the civil servants are not in
harmony with the Government, politi-
cally. Many of them were appointed
by the Conservative administration and
have been permitted to remain undis
tubed. They are but human and liable
to err as well ail Grits. Men in control
of banks, factories, large oorporations,
etc., sometimes make mistakes through
the changing of conditions whioh no
human inetinot or intelligence can fore-
see. Even snoh oonoerns change their
methods of doing business when they
believe the success of their enterprise or
business will be promoted. And so it is
with governments. A change of polioy
may be a good thing, and it may have
been a good thing for this country that
the Liberals aaw the wisdom of con-
forming to conditions that confronted
them and modified the principles pro-
claimed in the platform they promnl-
gated a few years ago.
International Newspaper
Bible Study Course.
Salient Points in the Lesson for Sunday, Oct. 11th,
Given in a Series of questions by
Bev. Dr. Linscott.
GOD'S PROMISE To DAVID. -I Citron.
xvii,
Golden Text --There bath not fail-
ed one word of all his good promise.
I Kings, viii:56.
Verses 1.2 -Should we be as careful
for the condition of God's House as we
are of our own?
Should God's House be as good. or
better than the average home of the
people?
Verses 3 4 -Why did the Lord speak
to Nathan to give his message to David,
and not to David direct?
Give your conception of how God
spoke to Nathan. Did he nee actual
words with sounds whioh struck the
outward ear, or did he use words of any
sort?
If A gets a message from God for 13,
how may B know that the message is
from God?
Why would God not permit David
to build him an house?
Verses 5.6 -What sort of a place of
worship did the Israelites have up to
this time?
So far as God is concerned, and other
things being equal, is a tent, or ;a con -
cod hall, or the open air, just tie sacred
a plane for a devout people to worship
God in, as a church formally built and
dedioated for that purpose?
Verses 7.8 -Is a babe born in a
humble cottage, just as dear to God, as
one born to a Queen in a palace?
Is a young man blaokemith or ma-
chinist, or farmer, or daily laborer,
personally jest as dear to the heart of
God as one who is rich and in an ex-
alted position?
Are the chief positions in the country
to -day held by those of exalted birth
and training, or by men who have come
up from the ranks?
The last year of Conservative ad.
ministration produced a deficit of
$787,808 in the Postoffioe Department,
There has been no deficit since 1903,
and last year the surplus was $1,011,765,
How has this been secured? By so re-
ducing the rates of postage as to popu-
larize the service in every branch.
Here are the rates of postage on various
classes of mail matter under Conserva-
tive and Liberal rule: -
Letters to Great Britain and the
empire generally -Conservative, 3 Dents;
Liberal, 2 cents.
Letters to Canadian points -Con-
servative, 8 cents; Liberal 2 Dents.
Letters to United States -Conserva-
tive, 3 cents; Liberal 2 cents.
Drop -letter for city delivery -Con-
servative, 2 cents; Liberal, 1 cent.
Papers sent to Great Britain by the
public -Conservative, 8 Dente per
pound; Liberal, 4 Dente.
Papers sent to Great Britain by pub-
lishers -Conservative, 8 cents per
pound; Liberal, one-quarter of 1 cent
per pound.
Behind all this comes the introduction
of free rural mail delivery. That is
the wonderful story of the Canadian
Postoffioe Department under Liberal
rule. Electors of East Huron, vote for
Hislop and assist in keeping the Liberal
Government in offices.
e.
THE ONLY LAURIER.
[Canadian Oourier,1
"Sir Wilfrid's oratory may be less
impassioned than it was in the days
before 'the snows of winter' got into his
head. Bat it is still the Pierit.n spring;
still the noble and dignified utterance
that by its music and its form suggests
the eloquenoe of the Roman forum and
eliminates the petty bigotries and
aspersions of party politios. There is
about the premier that which makes
him a larger man than a party. At the
tercentenary the man was profoundly
in evidence; the stately dignity that had
no vain desire for emptly plaudits and
ignored the floral offerings of a multi-
tude -satisfied to be known as the
Frenoh Premier of Canada.
Independent of elections, Sir Wilfrid
is a great Canadian; a men who would
do honor to any civilized oonntry and
government in the world. His tour in
English-speaking Ontario may be the
last he will ever undertake; bat to many
thousands of the sober toilers of a
practical provinoe the man Sir Wilfrid,
disengaged from the toils of a premier-
ship, has been one of those rare delecta-
tions such as Dome from reading good
books and looking at fine piotures. Other
men might have spoken as convincingly
as Sir Wilfrid ab:lut the Grand Trunk
Paoifio, civil servioe reform and the
enlargement of provincial boundaries
But when it comes to 'the snows of
winter,' and the personal desire to serve
hie 'nuno dimittis,' it is possible for even
a Conservative to forget that there is
such an institution as graft.
When Sir Wilfrid deoides to make hie
last speeoh it will be set down in the
annals that in his person Canada laid
Oat= to a man who, while he wrought
not in government better than he knevi,
yet was able to inspire Canadians with
the epeotaele of real individual great.
mos."
To what extent is success, or a
prominent position due to God's ap-
pointment and to our own efforts?
(This question must be answered
in writing by members of the club.)
Verses 9.10 -To what general cause
was the wanderings of Israel, and the
"wasting" of their enemies due, and
why could God promise them rest, and
victory over their enemies in- the fu-
ture?
What are the general causes of our
t rouble, and why does God permit
them?
Verses 11.15 -Does God know the
time when we shall "go to be with our
fathers," or is that a matter contingent
upon our own notions? <:
Where are our fathers who have pass-
ed away?
Does the future of our sons depend
most upon ns, upon them, or upon the
appointment of God?
Were these promises of God to David,
conoeiniug his son Solomon, absolute
and unconditional, or were they con-
tingent upon the actions of Solomon?
What is a vision, and to what extent
are visions possible to a true Christian
to -day?
Verse 16 -Where is God, and how
may we "sit before hlm?"
Ia it right for ns to realize our little-
ness, and to declare it when we pray?
Verses 17.18 -Does God regard no es
"ohildren of the dust" and "worms,"
or as his own sons and daughters; so
to Speak, "bone of his bone, and flash of
his flesh?"
Is God as interested in our "house"
and its welfare, as a loving father is in
the welfare of his only son?
To what extent does God .guarantee
our future earthly welfare?
Verses 19.20 -What is the dominant
note in the thought and prayer of every
real Christian?
What help to us are the recorded
experiences which the godly men of
the past have had with God?
Verses 21 -22 -To what extent was
David right in thinking that God had
favored Israel more than he had any
other nation?
What is real patriotism?
Is it necessary, or wise, that we
should think more highly of our coun-
try than the facts warrant, in order to
true patriotism?
Verses 2326 -Should our prayers be
taken up so mach with our own per•
sonal matters, as this prayer of David
appears to be?
Verse 27 --When God blesses our
home, need we fear any evil?
TOWN DIRECTORY.
BAPTIST Cannon -Sabbath services at
11 a m and 7 p m,` Sunday School et
2:80 p m. General prayer meeting
on Wednesday evenings. Rev. H.
Edg tr Allen, pastor. BeF,P.U. meets
Monday evenings 8 p.m. Abner Oosens
S.S. Superintendent.
METHODIST O11racs-Sabbath aervtoes
at 11 a m and 711 m. Sunday Sohool at
2;39 p m. Epworth League every Mon-
day evening. General prayer meeting
on Wednesday evenings. Rev. W.
G. Howson, pastor. F. Buchanan, S.S.
Superintendent.
PRnsnYTsEUAt; CnuRan-Sabbath ser-
vices at 11 a m and 7 p m. Sunday
School at 2:80 p m. General prayer
meeting on Wednesday evenings. Rev.
D. Perrie, pastor. 'Dr. A. J. Irvin, S.S.
Superintendent.
ST. PAUL'S Onuses, ii isoorAL-Sab-
bath services at 11 a m and 7 p m.
Sunday Sohool at 3:80 p m. Rev. U E.
Jenkins, B. A., B. D., Reotor ; Ed.
Nash, S. S. Superintendent ; Thos. E.
Robinson, aestataut Superintendent.
SALVATION Amer -Service at 7 and 11
a m and 3 and 7 p m on Sunday, and
every evening during the week at 8
o'olook at the barracks.
Pose Orme-Office hours from 8a m
to 6:30 p m. Open to box holders from
7 a m. to 9 p m. P. Fisher, postmaster.
PDBLIO lesneaY-Library and free
reading room in the Town Hall, will
be open every afternoon from 2 to
5:80 o'olook, and every evening from 7
to 9:30 o'olook. Mies Ethel Elliott,
librarian.
Tows Clouse L -W. Holmes, Mayor;
Dr. A. J. Irwin, Reeve; David Bell,
Thos. Gregory, D. E. MoD maid Wm .
Nioholson,Gao. Spotton, Geo. 0. Haana,
Ooanoil)ora; J. B. Ferguson, Clerk and
Treasurer; Anson' Dalmage, Assessor.
Board meets first Monday evening in
each month at 8 o'olook.
HIGH SCHOOL BOARD,!-- John Wilson,
(chairman) Dr. J. P. Kennedy, Dr. P.
Macdonald, Dr. R. 0. Redmond, J. A.
Morton, 0. P. Smith, W. F. VanStone.
Dudley Holmes, secretary. A. Oosens,
treasurer. Board meets second Monday
evening in each month.
PIIBLIO Stamm BOARD. - T. Hall,
(chairman), B Jenkins,H. E. Isard,A.E.
Lloyd,fi. Kerr, Wm. Moore,Alex. Ross,
0. N. Griffin. Seoketary, John F.
Groves; Treasurer, Z. B. Ferguson.
Meetingsaeoond Tuesday eveningin each
month. •
HIGH SCHOOL TEACHERS -J. A. Tay-
lor, B.A., principal; J. 0. Smith, B.A.,
olassioai msster; .1. G: Workman, B.A.,
mathematical master' ; Miss Helena
Dadaon, B.A., teacher of English and
Moderns.
Priem SosooL TRAMMEL -A. H.
Mnsgroye, Principal Miss Brook,
Miss Reynolds, Miss 11''arquharson, Miss
Wilson, Miss Cummings, and Mise
Fraser.
Lesson for Sunday Oot. 18th, 1908.
David's Kindness to Jonathan's Son -
II Sam. ix.
HERE IS A SAMPLE OF THE DIF-
FERENCE IN ADMINISTRATION
During the twelve years the Liberals
have been in offioe they have sold a little
over 6,000 square miles of timber land,
in each and every case, the same being
sold to the highest tldder.
In one year the Conservative govern-
ment gave away to members of Parlia-
ment and others, over 10,000 square
miles of timber land, foe whioh the
country did not receive one cent.
In each and every year of the 18 that
the Conservatives were in office, they
added about six and a half million dol-
lars to the debt of Canada -or a total of
$118,000.000.
In the 12 years that the Liberals have
been in offioe they have added a total of
$19,000,000 to the debt, and this is due
to the Grand Trunk Paoifio.
When the Liberals took offioe in 1896
the debt per head stood $50.87. To -day
it stands at $40.50. These figures are
official.
When the Conservatives were in
power, the Postal Department was run
at a lose nearly every year. Everybody
knows the improvements that have been
made since then, and yet the depart-
ment this year has a surplus of $1,000,-
000.
ROBLIN FLOORED.
(London Advertiser.)
Premier Roblin will me the day be
thrust himself into the Federal cam-
paign in this Province. He has been
convicted of falsehood and slander
out of the month of a man who is now
an aoos'edited spokesman of the Cons
eervative party, Mr. J. S. Willison, of
the Toronto Nowa.
In his epeeoh at Toronto, Mr. Rob-
lin made an inoredibly coarse attack
upon the present editor of the Globe.
and oharged that newapaper with in-
finencing parliament and the Govern-
ment to grant to the owners of the
Globe valuable mining oonoessione in
the Crow'' Nest Pass district, by'
which the country was robbed, In
his chaste platform style, Mr. Roblin
described the Globe as "a reptile
newspaper," "a poisoned well," whioh
'alt the chloride of lime in the oonntry,
could not disinfect."
By the very refinement of irony
the man who directed the Globe's
policy daring the Orow'e Nest Pau
episode, Mr, Willison, eat on the same
platform and had no doubt been ap-
piatiding Mr. Roblin's address up to
that point. The passage referring to
the Globe was virtually a char-
acterization of Mr. Willison as a
knave and a hireling. That gentle.
man was thus wounded in the house
of his new-found friends.
Editor Macdonald, of the Glot.e, Pew
the opening and promptly retorted
with an offer to resign hie post if
Premier Roblin oonld prove his ao.
eusation, or if Mr. Willison would
acknowledge its troth. In street par-
lance "he put it up to" the present
editcr of the News. The latter had
to choose either horn of the dilemna:
he could maintain silence and rest
under Roblin's imputation; or, if he
had a clear ooneoienoe he oonld tell
the truth and convict Roblin of
slander. He has chosen to speak out,
and he has diaoredited Roblin, though
it has, no doabt, Dost him a pang. Mr.
Willison affirms that the Crow's Nest
polioy of the Globe was inspired by
himself; that he consulted no director
of the paper, nor did he know that
any director had an interest in the
Crow's Nest country.
Thus a "scandal" upon which Con-
servative papery and politicians have
been trading for twelve years, is utterly
exploded, and the premier of Manitoba
is written down by one of his own
party friends as a vilifier and a
falsifier.
Unable to Digest
THE FOOD
The digestive system is a wonderful piece
of machinery, but power is necessary to make
it effective.
The power, in this cast, is the nerve force
and with the nerves exhausted the digestive
system becomes hopelessly crippled. There it
indigestion, headaches, neuralgic pains and spells
of weakness, dizziness and discouragement.
Strength cannot be regained from the food
you eat, but can be restored by
Dr. A. W. Chase's
Nerve Food
This great prescription of the famous Re-
ceipt Book author, A.W. Chase, M. D., instils
into the feeble, worn-out' nerves energy and
strength, enriches the blood, invigorates the
nerves which control digestive fluids, sharpens
the appetite and builds up the system in
Natures way. 50 cents a box, at ail dealers
or Edmanson, Bates & Co., Toronto.
Mr. John McLean, 316 Hunter Street,
Hamilton, Ont., state,::
AAs a result of weak naves my appetite was
poor and I had severe attacks of indigestion.
Since using Dr. Chase's Nerve Food kr some
time my digestion is excellent, appetite good,
nerves strong, and 1 feel an altogether dilferen'
person."
LBTABLI$HXD 1872
THE WINOILV TIMES.
IS PUBLISHED
EVERY THURSDAY MORNING
-AT-
The Times Offlee, Beaver Block
WINGHAM, ONTARIO,
Tmaue or Sineentlx TION -$1.00 per annum to
advance, $1.601! not so paid. No paper dlsoon-
tinned till all arrears are paid, except at the
option of the publisher.
ADp1RTISI10 RAT88. - Legal and other
caenaladvertisements loo per Nonpariel line for
first insertion, 8c per line 'for each subsequent
insertion.
Advertisements In looal column. ars oharged
10 ots. per line for first insertion, and 5 cents
per line for each subsequent insertion.
Advertisements of Strayed, Perms for Sale
or to Rent, and similar, $1.00 for first three
weeks, and 25 cents for each, subsequent in-
sertion.
Ootrvne0T RATns-The following table shows
our ratae for the insertion of advertisements
for specified periods :-
SPAM~. 1 PR. 6 Mo. 8 no. 1 40
OneOolamn....- .- $70.00 $10.00 122.60 88.00
Half Column.......... 40.00 25.00 15.00 0.00
QnarterOolumn .. _ -. 20.00 12.60 7.50 8.00
One Inch - ...._ 5.00 8.00 ' 2.00 1,25
Adverttsemente without specific directions
will be inserted till forbid and oharged accord-
ingly. Transient advertisements must be paid
for in advance.
Tun Jon DEPARTYsNT is stroked with an
extensive assortment of all requisites for print-
ing, affording facilities not equalled in the
county for turning out first o)aes work. Large
type and appropriate oats for a11etyles of Poet -
ere, Hand Bine, eto., and the latest styles of
choice fanny type for the finer classes of print
ing.
H. B. ELLIOTT,
Proprietor and Publisher
The esetenial.l ung -healing principal of
the pine tree has finally beensuooessfully
separated and refined into a perfect
oough medioine-Dr. Wood's Norway
Pine Syrup. Sold by all dealers on a
guarantee of satisfaction. Prioe as
Cents.
BOARD or HEALTH -Thos. Bell,
(chairman), R. Porter, Thomas Greg-
ory, John Wilson, V.S., J. B. Ferguson,
Seoretary; Dr. J. R Maodonald,
Medical Health Officer.
Fresh Fish
Fridays.
1 have made arrangements for
weekly shipments of Fresh
Fish, and will be able
to supply them
Every Friday.
All orders will receive prompt
attention.
THOS. FELLS
BUTCHER
Synopsis of Canadian Northwest
Homestead Regulations.
JP KENNEDY, M. D., M.O.P. B. O.
. Member of the British Medical Associa-
tion. Gold Medalltet in Medioine. Special
attention paid to diseases of Women and Child;
ren. Office hours -1 to 4 p. m.: 7 to 9 p. m.
DR. MACDONALD,
Centre Street
Wingham, Ontario.
ANY even numbered section of Dominion'
Lands in Manitoba Saskatchewan and
Alberta excepting 8 and 28, not reserved, may
be homesteaded by any person who is the sole
head of a family, or any male over 18 years of
age, to the extent of one-quarter section of 160
acres, more or less
Applioation for entry must be made in per-
son by the applicant at a Dominion Lands
Agency or Subagency for the district in which
the land is situate. Entry by proxy may, how-
ever, be made at an Agenoy on certain condi-
tions by his father, mother, son,, daughter,
brother or sister of an intending homesteader.
The homesteader is required to perform the
homestead duties under one of the following
plans:
(11 At least six months' residence upon and
cultivation of the land in each year for three
years.
(2) A homesteader may, if he so desires,
perform the required residence duties by living
on farming land owned solely by him, not less
than eighty (80) acres in extent, in the vicinity
of his homestead. Joint ownership in land
will not meet this requirement.
(8) If the father (or mother, if the father is
deceased) of the homesteader has permanent
residence on farming land owned solely by
him, not less than eighty (80) acres in extent,
in the vicinity of the homestead, or upon a
homestead entered for by him in the vicinity,
much homesteader may perform his own resi-
dence duties by living with the father (or
mother.)
(4) The term "vicinity" in the two preced-
ing paragraphs is defined as meaning not more
than nine miles in a direct line, exclusive of
the width of road allowanoee crossed in the
measurement,
(5)A homesteader intending to perform his
reeienee daties in accordanoo with the above
while living with parents or on farming land
owned by himself meet notify the Agent for
the dtstriot of each intention.
Six months' notice in writing must Ibe given
to the Commissioner of Dominion Lands at
Ottawa of intention to apply for patent.
W. W. CORY,
Deputy of the Minister of the Interior.
N.B.-Unaathoriried pnbtioi►tion of this Id-
tertiseateat wild not be aid for.
_ ...-•._moi- .
DR. AGNEW,
Physician, Surgeon, etc.
Office-Maodonald Block, over W.MaKibbon's
Drag Store. Night calls answered at the offioe.
DR. ROBT. C. REDMOND, M. R.C.S. (Eng)
L. R. C. P. London. '
PHYSICIAN and SURGEON.
Office. with Dr. Chisholm.
R VANBTONE,
BARRISTER, SOLICITOR, BTO
Private and Company funds to loan at lowest
rate of Interest. mortgages, town and farm
property bought and sold.
Office, Beaver Block. Wingham
J•
A. MORTON,
BARRISTER, &o.
Wingham, Ont.
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MONA To LoAN.
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ARTHUR J. IRWIN, D. D. S., L. D.S.
Doctor of Dental Surgery of the Pennsylvania
Dental College and Licentiate of the Royal
College of Dental Surgeons of Ontario. Office
in Macdonald Block, Wtngham.
W J. PRICE, B. B. A., L. D. 8., D. D. S.
Licentiate of the Royal College of Dental
Surgeons of Ontario, and Graduate of Uni-
versity of Toronto.
Office ; Beaver Block.
ALEX. KELLY, Wingham, Ont.
LICENSED AUCTIONEER
For the County of Huron. dales of all kinds
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Wingham General Hospital
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to $15.00 per week according to location
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address
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GRAND TRUNK RAILWAY SYSTEM.
TRAINS LRAva 'OR
London .. .... - 8.40 a.m... 8.80p.m.
Toronto &East 11.03 a.m.. 6.49 a.m.... 2.40p.m.
Kincardine -11.67 a.m... 2.08 p -m_- 9.15p.rn,
ARRIVE PROM
Kincardine .- -.8.40 a.m -11.00 a.m_ -. 2.40 p.m.
London....... -.-......-.11.54 a.m.. 7.85 p.m.
Palmerston .- ...... 10.80 a.m.
Toronto & East........., 2.08 p.m..... 9.16 p.m.
L. HAROLD, Agent, Wingham.
CANADIAN PACIFIC RAILWAY.
TRAINS LSAVa iron
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Aanrva Paoli
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THE FIRST JOKES.
Do You Know Which the Original
Eleven Ones Were?
Miss Agnes Repplier, lecturing on
"The Mission of Humor" at the Colony
club, New York, said she had been in-
formed that there were eleven original
jokes in the world. After she had said
her allotted say Mr. Joseph 1I. Choatie
arose and, gallant as ever, remarked
that be was now sure there were twen-
ty-two original jokes. Any man or wo-
man who produces eleven original
jokes in a lecture is a world wonder,
With all due respect to Miss Iteppliere
we are inclined to think that Mrs
Choate was too amiable and too recep-
tive.
What are these eleven original, fun•
damental, basic jokes, not made for a
parish or an occasion, necessarily Ka-
man and unlversai? Look over the
comic weeklies from the beginning of
Punch and you will find the same lines
of humorous thought,' endless repeti-
tions of a fool born jest, ponderosa
elaboration of a trifle, changes of an
old idea to suit time and place. The
old jest books -Joe Miller's, and, before
his, Poggitt and Bacon -show how our
predecessors anticipated us. Plutarch's
"Morals" is full of jests and jocose
anecdotes that are now fondly thought
contemporaneous. Turn to his "Apo-
thegms or Remarkable Sayings of
Kings and Great Commanders" and
you find this quip: A prating barber:
asked Archelaus how he would be
trimmed. Archelaus answered, "In
silence." Read "The Banquet of the
Seven Wise Men," Englished by Roger
Davis, A. M., and there a sage is thus
reported: "In this mistake, however,
I'm much of the youth's mind who,
throwing a stone at a dog, hit his step-
mother, adding, 'My throw is not lost,
however.' "
Tlife favorite jokes in this country,
have been for years based on the moth-
er-in-law, the farmer and the summer
boarder, the city boarding house,
spring cleaning (and the stovepipe play-
ed an important part) and the greedy
goat. The mother-in-law was naturally
the victim' of the first jocose son-in-
law, while there could bemo joke about
the stovepipe before the existence of
the pipe. There is the cannibal mis-
sionary joke that has done yeoman's
service, but it cannot be older than the
appearance of the first missionary.
What are the primeval eleven jokes?
Otto of the oldest known to us begintt
"Old Noah, he had three sons, Shem,
Ram and Japheth," but there must
have been jokes before the flood. What
were the eleven that were preserved
in the ark? No doubt the gag about
the elephant bringing his trunk was
coined by some irreverent looker on
who saw in the embarkation only food
for mirth. Death by drowning was tori
good for him. But what jokes did Noah
and his sons take with them for daily
recreation? We can be sure of only
one -the mother -fn -law jest. Will not
Miss Repplier tell to the world the
other ten? -Boston Herald.
The Stiletto In Italy.
"The reign of the knife and the sti-
letto, which has been unquestioned in
Italy for centuries," says the Rome cor-
respondent of a Berlin paper, "is to be
brought to an end. For generations it
has been the custom to carry a knife,
anti those men in the lower walks who
had no knife carried a sharpened nail
or file to be used on the slightest prove
ocatiop. The wine is heavy, the blood
of the people is hot, their power of self
control small. Is it a wonder, then,
that, with the murderous instrument
always at hand, there should be so
many fatal encounters? But the law-
makers have at last discovered that
the morals of the whole nation have
been influenced for the bad by the
knife carrying custom, and laws will
be passed similar to those now in force
in some parts of the United States of
America making it a crime to carry a
deadly weapon."
A Fling at the French Army.
General Langlois, a distinguished of-
ficer of the French' army, has aroused
much uneasiness among his country-
men by asserting that the morale and
discipline of the military forces of
France are in an alarming state of de-
generation. ,All the military enthusi-
asm of Napoleon's day, he remarlm,
has evaporated, patriotism is rapldly
becoming a thing of the past, and the
military organization of the republic,
once so removed from sordid influences,
is controlled even in tbe minutest de-
tails by politics and politicians. Pro-
motions, furloughs, permits to men in
the lowest ranks of the army to marry,
says General Langlois, are all subject
to the control of civil magistrates in
each prefecture, the results being com-
plete anarchy and disorganization in
the army.
He Got Homesick.
When Ruben Dario, the new Nica-
raguan minister to Spain, arrived in
New York recently on his way to his
new poiK he brought with him frons
Nicaragua a young man as his secret
tary. The latter had never been so fail
away from Managua and at first the
greatness of the American metropolis
surprised. him. Then it actually overs
awed him, and he became afflicted
With that yearning for home that IS
commonly known as homesickness.
'When Senor Dario nailed for Madrid
his secretary was not with him. Ile
informed the minister that he feared
to go farther away from Nicaragns,
and, the ming for home overawe*
tering the ernbitien for diplomatic !ems
:fie ...- ....._.-. - _ i