HomeMy WebLinkAboutHuron Expositor, 2015-08-19, Page 44 Huron Expositor • Wednesday, August 19, 2015
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Nuron Expositor
PUBLISHED WEEKLY — EST. 1860
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Seaforth Ontario NOK 1 WO
phone: 519-527-0240
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Anybody can be a dad, it takes a man to be a father
en I was young, my
father didn't come
around the house
much. He was heavily into
the party scene. My mom was
also a partier, but she made
up for it by raising me.
It's weird, but I never hated
him for it back then. Maybe
my age played a factor in the
judgement of the man I
called Dad. I did not know for
20 years he had not once paid
a cent in child's support.
Being a little boy, my atten-
tion span was equivalent to
that of a puppy, so I never
had a sense of reality or time
to tell me that I have not saw
him in more than six months.
He would call and talk to me
whenever he was hungover
or half in the bag and I just
loved it. To me he was like
Wayne Gretzky with a bottle
of beer instead of a hockey
stick. I literally worshipped
the ground he walked on.
After I was born, him and
my mom pretty much parted
ways for the better. He was
about 17 years older than my
mother and from all the
addictions you'd think it
would show in his face. It
didn't, the guy looked great
for his age. I don't how, but
he was physically fit and he
had all his hair on his head.
When he talked, he had this
deep voice that reminded me
of Sylvester Stallone. The
thing I can remember most is
the smell of cigarettes and
beer on his breath. For some
strange reason, I adored that
scent. When I think about it
now, I think, 'yuck, that's dis-
gusting.' Honestly though, I
looked up to him so much
that none of that was of
importance. I just wanted to
converse with the guy, hear
him speak and be around
him.
On my birthdays, he would
show up late and sometimes
not show up at all. But when
he did choose to make an
appearance with a gift, the
way he'd stroll in, it was like a
swagger that I cannot
describe. The blue Levi's, a
pack of smokes hanging out
the back pocket and his
Column
Shaun Gregory
Harley Davidson T-shirt with
his hair slicked back with a
goatee. Being born in 1948,
he had the presence of a
Greaser. None of those good
looks were significant to my
mother, she couldn't believe
that crap piled that high. It
offended her that I idolized
this absent man.
As I got older, he came
around less and less each
year, until finally he stopped
coming around period. It had
been two years since I talked
to him. I remember like it
was yesterday in 2004 when
my mom called and said
"Shaun are you sitting down."
"Yes," I replied.
"Your dad died last night of
cirrhosis of the liver."
It hit me like a ton of bricks.
I dropped to my knees and I
went in a depression for
some time after. Like why did
I care about this man that
would rather hold a bottle
than his own son? Why is this
affecting me? I did not have
the answer. All I knew is I felt
dead inside.
Time went by slow for a bit
after the funeral. His death
experience took a toll on me,
but I had enough of the
depression bringing me
down. I bounced back and
graduated and received my
Ontario Secondary School
Diploma, one of the first to
ever do it in my family, which
at the time it was kind of a big
deal for me. I moved to Banff,
Alta., a couple years later and
experienced life like most
young men that age. I drank
beers with friends, snow -
boarded in the mountains
and life was great.
Then things got even better
when I met Sarah. Her also
coming from Ontario, she
came up to Banff to work for
a families pizza shop. I swear
I fell in love with her when I
first met her. After dating for
a bit, we decided Alberta was
too far from family so we
made the decision to move
back to Ontario.
Time passed and I was still
doing the same old thing,
dead-end jobs and living
paycheque to paycheque. I
was 26 years old and I
wanted to do something with
my life, I wanted to be some-
body. That year, we were
blessed with our beautiful
baby girl Gavriella. She was
born a year and a half after
my mom passed away. I
swear my mother had some-
thing to do with that baby.
She was the prefect baby. I
laugh, now, she's a terrorizer,
but she's my world, my little
blond haired angel.
I made the choice to sign
up for college that year and
selected journalism. My first
year in the program was hec-
tic. I had no idea what I was
doing, but I made it through
my first year and won the
Most Dedicated Journalist of
the Year, which I felt was a
pity award, but hey it's an
award right? The next year I
sharpened my skills and
made an impression in the
world of media, I won Radio
Producer of the Year and was
runner-up for Print Writer of
the Year and Journalist of the
Year. I knew I deserved sec-
ond place. There was an
optional third year program
available for students who
graduated the Journalism
program. I didn't hesitate
and I signed up that day.
It was my time to shine, as I
won every award that the
Media Convergence Program
gave out and had the honour
of being nominated for the
Student Journalist of the Year
at the Ontario Newspaper
Awards. Things were looking
great.
During that third year of
college we had our second
child Grayson, it gives me
goosebumps saying his
name. He too was perfect
when he was born. He may
have been the perfect baby,
but there was always some-
thing a little off with physical
features of his body, it looked
as if his right arm and leg
were significantly larger. We
mentioned it the doctor and
he told us yes that is odd, so
we got him looked at and
they diagnosed him with
hemihypertrophy, a rare dis-
order in which one side of the
body grows more than other.
We were crushed, as this dis-
order comes with a risk of
tumors and numerous other
types of cancer. Every 90
days, we get him screened
and last week he finally saw a
specialist and he told us his
symptoms are very weak and
we do not have to worry. Me,
I don't think of all that. I
always think the worst.
Now with this new job I
have at the Expositor, I only
see my babies every two
weeks, which breaks my
heart. I just want to be with
them, like who knows what
could happen in those two
weeks. When they come to
visit, I cry when they first
come and cry harder when
they leave. I think back to my
father, 'how could you leave
your son?' I'm losing my
mind after not seeing my
babies after 12 days. How in
the hell can you go for years
ata time?
All I know is those little
bundles of joy are everything
to me. They're what keep my
heart ticking and I would
walk through the gates of hell
holding hands with them if
needed. I would do anything
for my children, no matter
what the cost. I guess I just
want to say thanks to my
mother. You had it rough
woman, but you raised me
off nothing and look at me
now I'm a journalist for one
the best papers in Huron
County. I may have been
angry with my father, but I
forgive him. I would not be
where I'm at to this day with
out it, so don't ever regret
your past embrace it.
To all the mothers and
fathers raising your children
with love, you are my heroes.