Lucknow Sentinel, 1892-12-23, Page 3ii
•
tl
LAUGH AND LEARN.
Too Geed to Live.
She was pretty maiden with
The lovelight'tu her eye, .
A Cbristniasydi'ft fur Algernon
She started out to buy
with dread uncertainty of mind,
She west from shop to shop,
The worn and w eary salesman there
ShnAet e eupou4h--hop. .
"Hews. _s a smoking set that's nice,' .
One eager shopzn tit cried -
He doe-u't use tobacco, seer ! "
She scornfully replied.
"A dainty little -brandy flask
Inlaid with silver links"
Her fewe.took on a haughty look,
Oh, no! he waver drinks."
" A neat tined novel box for cards,
A poker set, you know t"
" lie never touches playing• eards,
He's often told me so."
" A pair of opera glasses then -
A novel pzit erre quite ;"
" lie never goes to theatres.
He doesn't think it right !"
Then loudly did that shopenan cry
As she approached to a door ;
" Our haarpu nd crown department, miss.
IsAper moor .
' Jagson says he doesn't see bow a man can
+expect to makes much progreaa in a sta-
tionery business,
••• Some men dress shabbily because it (is
artistic ; others because it is the badge of
wealth, and atill others .because they can't
help it.
Cornelius Vanderbilt may be found hard
at work at 9.30 every morning ; and he
leery rarely clones his deak until 5 in the
afternoon.
Mother (looking over her boy's shoulder)
-Your spelling tis perfectly terrible. Little
Son -This isn't a epellin' lesson'; it'a a
composition.
Little Dot -I jr /''late that girl. Mamma
-We are comm."to love our enemies.
Little Dot -Yee 't-kiJow ; but abe ian't an
enemy--ehe's a friend.
Teacher-J;arace, what is the shortest day
Of the year ? James (from experience) -
The day your father promisee to give you a
Ieckin' afore you go to bed-"
Cholly tie Sappiens-Are aw lahge checks
the fashion this winter ? Tailor -Yes, air ;
could you fiat me out one for about $900 in
settlement of our httle account ?.
Lawyer Foggs-Madam, I am compelled,
to ask. your age. Mies Sears -I don't re-
member Exactly. Lawyer Foggs-Suppose
yon give it to tie in round nu.. hers. •
Mins Bh.ecker-Do you thine- my new hat
is simply out df sight ? Miss ...er,son (of
----Bosteressaft•er--•utijusting heir' speetaolea)---
Not at all, I can see it quite. distinctly.
" So year friend has beers wounded in a
duel r "Yee,but oh ! you should have seen
his wonderful preeencc of mind !" "In this
case I think ,absence of body would have
been preferable." .
Mrs. Parvaynnh-I'm most • afraid to
wear more than four diamond necklace$ to
•.enet, for fear it will make me appear vul•
-
gar. Mrs. Heighlife--Olt, you needn't be
afraid on than -wore.
" This is the third tune I have, fined yon'
for drunkenneea, prisoner," said the judge.
" Yes, Your honor," was :the reply. " I
think the court ought to issue 'commutation
• books for Wren like me."
Young Housekeeper -Have you any bone-
less bacon ? Butcher -Yes, ream. Young
Housekeeper -Well, send me some, and
• some boneless liver, also. I want to • have
liver and bacon for breakfast.
What • was the name of that, man you
point t d out to toe yesterday ? signalled one
deaf mute to another. Lets see„ thelatter
• signalled back Oh, dear, it's odd I can't re-
member in, for 1 have it en my finger ends.
They nay Green has been wanderieg in
his mind lett ly." "Well, he'a•safeenough ;
be can't get far."
" Ha ! old man, I'ni glad to nee you out
again. You've been vary sick, I hear.
Near to death's door, ?" Near to death's
door ! They may well say that. I had
three doctors."
Bouttown-Better not go to the St.
Fashion Hotel. Their bill -of -fare is in
French. Cultured' friend (indignantly) -I
can understand French. Bouttown-yes
but the waiters can't, and neither can the
cook.
Tremont 0Theatre managers have adver-
tised thus ' is their play . bills : Will you
aid the un nagement'in ite work; of• hat re-
form? Wear a small bonnet or .remove your
large bat during the pea formance. The
-theatre le well h‘atefi and protected from
draught.
, "I think it is an outreen for "Snodgrass
to marry a}natn sq) soon after his wile's
death,' remarked Berry, a undertaker.
" Six months,'isn't " ell, it isn't
the exa:it time I object to so much as to the
to fact that he hasn t paid me yet for her
w
funeral.' ' •
Velox-My dear, I read here that a man
was fired -at by a bergiar last night, and his
life was saved by a bullet striking against a.
button of his clothes. Sire- V. 'anappingiy
-Well, what. of that, pray ? oVelox-Oh,
nothing, except that the button must have
been on.
The girl was very rich and the young man
was poor, bat Forrest. She liked him, but
that was ail, and he knew it. One night he
bad been a little twee tender than , usual.
" Yon are very rich. ' he ventured. "Yes,'
she replied. fiankiy. " I am worth a
million dollars. ' " And I am poor."
" Yes." Will you mar ryette 2" " No."
" I thcugbt yon wouldn't:" " Then why
did yen ask me ?" " Oh, just to see how a
man feels when he sees a million," and the
girl railed.
The Summer Girl.
The summer girl has gon'• at last,
Iiut where we cannot tell; •
The days of her long reign have past:
She's lost her magic spell.
No more she climbs the mountain sides,
Nor,strells alot g the sand•
Nor tei the tuneful music glides
Through waltzes long rind grand.
No more she duns her robe, of white.
-Nor scanty bathing ,kir
No mere she stays up half the night
To dunce and smile loud dirt.
.But when the summer come,: once mere.
With time's never ce;t.irigwhi'rt, ,
Well see her as in +•,r,',: of yore,
The sante bright summer girl.
The Crown P in e of (eirmany, although
only a little more can ten yeas old, has a
very ready a i' and a queer 'way of saying
things. Ile te(s the funny side of a situs•
tion at mice. Cine day,, while visitir+g at
Potsdam, t ht• little prix.?c was amusing him.
self by tr.; leg to make a' donkey draw a
cert. But the donkey was stubborn and
would not " go." " Your donkey has .a
great deal of trill power," called out the
Emperor, who had been watching the
Struggle between his little son and the atub-
born beast. " Oh,. no, papa," replied the
little prince, quickly. " It isn't his will
power that troubles me. It is hie won't
power. He won't go."
JAY GOULIYd Sett etioNe.
How They Are Disposed of by the Dead
Hallway Ring's *111.
First there is given to bis sister, Mrs.
Northrup and her daughters, three iota of
ground in r; amden. • N.- J., on which his
sister lives. There is also a specific bequest
to Mrs. Northrup of $'25,000, and a. farther
sum of $2.000 annually. To bis staters, Mrs.
Anna G. Hough and Mrs. Elizabeth Palen,
and to his brether Abraham (,'mould, is given
the sum of $25,000 each, and also a further
sum of $2,000 annually during their lives.
To hie daughter, Helen G. Gould he gives
the home in which he Lived, -No. 579 5th
avenue, and all the °entente.
To his son, Edwin, he gives the house on
1 East 47th street with all the contents.
To his daughter, Helen, he also gives,
until his youngest child shall arrive at age,
the use of his residence at Irvington, and
also the sum of $6,000 per month, stating
that this was done in the expectation that
his minor children. Anna and Frank J., as
well as his son Howard, will, during thet
period above provided for, make their home
with his daughter Helen.
.Lo his grandson, Jay Gould, eon cf
George J. Gould, he gives $500,000, to be
held in trust by George J. Gould, with
authority to apply the same to the support
and education of the said grandson, and o
A CALGARY MIRACLE:,
feeling therefrom, the after effects of la
grippe, diseaeea depending on humors of the
blood, such as scrofula, chronic erysipelas,
The Must Wonderful ease Ever Recorded 1 etc. Pink Pills give a healthy glow to
In the Northwest.
pale and sallow complexions, and are a
specifio for the troubles peculiar to the
female system, and in the °won menthey
ec sa-tela Callen 7s- Ireseitat grout -What effect a -radical cnrein all cases arising
Her physicians and Friends Thought from mental worry, over -work or excesses
to be Her Deathbed, of any nature.
lWinni 'These Pills are tinanufactured by the Dr.
peg T'rlbziue.) Williams' Medicine Company, Brockville,
CALGARY, N. W. T., Oct. 20, 1892. -For t Ont., and Schenectady, N. Y., and are sold
some of this town only in boxes bearing the firm's trade mark
time past the r
have been deeply interested in the °ate of and inwrappeBar5mindna box, . 6 boxes
Miss Lela Cullen, a young lady, who budso k`? ill Bear e that Dr. Wily th
nearlyapproached the of tats of the great Pink Pella are never Bald in ylk, dr by the
neknwn,that her friends despaired oher offers or hundred, and any dealer, who
recovery, and who has now full indeed defraud you an in culhis fobs io ted.. to
r.
almost miraculously, regained her health you and should maye be had, lal
and strength. Having read on varions 00- Williams'rdruggists
rPdirect d Pill' be had of all
what appeared to he casiens in the nee,mirthe particulars
ures, ofur ` Willr�ams' Medicine Company from mail reither
correspondent determined to investigate the address. The 'price at which these pills
case of Mina Cullen, and now sends yon the are sold makes a. courseeof compared corn -
with
particulars, fully believing that yon will be ; other emely inexpensive as compared with
giving de's circula
Justified to 'ivin them the widest - other remedies or medical treatment.'
tion. ,
When your correspondent visited the DO SreiN]ES GROW T
residence of Mrs. Cullen, the mother of the
young lady, he was courteously received, Well No, Not Exactly, but Monte Get Rigger.
and in reply to bis enquiries as to whether The question in the headline is often
she would be willing to give the facts of i asked, and not infrequently by scholarly
her daughter's wonderful recovery, forpeople too. By why of a general answer to
publication for the benefit of other sufferers, 1 ail such questions I would say that the best
Mrs. Cullen readily assented. " My authorities have come to this conclusion :
daughter's first illness," said Mrs. Cullen, f Thai rocks do not grow in the sense that
" was in June, 1890, when she was taken , planta do. They may increase in size by
with the tneas)es. At that time she was 17 „means of accretions, and they may also
years of age, tall, lino -looking and ex-
1
undergo other changes. Old sea beds lifted
up andexposed for ages become
stratified beds of sandatone' tor latneatone ;
volcanic ashes and lava strewn over hills
and plains become tufa hard enough for
building atone, and the pebbly shores of
rivers and smaller streams may sometimes
change into conglomerates. The simple
mineral, however, does grow, especially
when it take's upon itself the form of a
crystal. A aparkling prism of quartz in-
creases from an atom to a monster crystal
of varying length and size by what geolo-
gists know as a " process of addition and
a saimilatioo." This process is wonderfully
on- but with a mathematical exactnea
is a suprise to persons even " well up"
e a++ience of geology. In one sense
s grow, in another they do not. The
tai may become longer -and -longer., but -
boulder on the roadside will not in -
so a hair's breadth in length or width
the next • 10,000 yearai-St'.. Le•uis
ceedingly healthy, weighing about 140
pay one-quarter of the same to him at the pounds. All the family took the measles,
age of 25, one-quarter at the age of 30, ani and all got over them without trouble
the remaining one half at 35, with power to
pay the same at earlier periods in the dire
cretion of his father.
To his son, George J. Gould, $5,000,000.
He appoints as executors and trustees ef
his will, his sons, George J. Gould, Edwir,
except Lela. Her case from tne first
baffled all the ordinary remedies used for
that disease. and as the measles did not
come out a physician was called in. He
administered remedies, but with no better
results, and her case seemed to baffle the
Gould and Howard Gould,and his daughter, physicee emq After a few weeks my
Helen M. Gould. l t ree daughter begee to we so�+ewhat; but
All the rest of his estate is devised and je' - did not regain her fornaeingth, and six
bequeathed to executors and trustees ire at weeks after she was first taken iii;'iee.
trust• neck and limbs broke out in blot ti e
1
THE FUNCT1ON OF TUE TONSILS
r rd-
liegnllar Picket -Poste of the Body Gu•u
ing Against Disease.
Many a. • mother who has found ir the
ttoneils of her.children• thp"seat--iif nr 'quent-
I
ikl•
.,fine
trouble has wondered for what I 1urpose
these sacs of sensitive blood veaselse ' '..are in-
cluded in the anatomy of the throe., t Late
researches by Dr.. Lovell Dullard •]v have de-
veloped some interesting facts' abet , rut them;
which ought to change. opin-r. o frcim
skeptical curiosity to grateful we lcome.
The tonsils are, it seems, glans;
Cls in which
kfithe white blood corpuscles are developed.
Now the white blood co use are the
natural enemy of malignant mi k robes and
bacteria, attacking. them " ,ti wherever
encountered and always come • g off tic
torious. • a work rho
It will be seen, the refore, that'C r ureic' is a
for the manufacture of white cram, est at the
valuable :plant, and its locati J
junction of the mouth and r •_:el:
passage,
two acoreas of disease-rm 'y' is only
another evidence of the dmir� economy
of nature.of the
While the larger g+ousels
ortioz. • white
pass right
on intto circulation, patroll4 i
re-
ing the entire blood syeten'
es maII to e h the
main on the tonsil surfa7ve2y threshold as
he has stolen tinsiditius las at the
hrou h tl rte mouth or slipped
• By the time the
in by way of the' uostrila'd the , tonsually il quatanwith
invading'germ has pasae� thuseq
tine it is harmless, ant oat, stomach and
the blood, are the t '
lungs protected. ,can hardly beshown
toTeo !Trill; hmiseude ed'' but now well proved
g j g , York Times. •
efficient ton'i1a.=Nor-1_.
cprpuscles created ;by the U.
g and protect -
a Wife Y
What 1o1 teacher, for a little
The pretty schoo her class for the best,
drversionhas erwfe," an the boyoriginal definitionor
ptly responded -"A
in the corner had pro im re roachfnl
rib." She. looked at t p ly and
dreamy- eyes, who
nodded to the bop with etliinn• "Man's
see a star and s aro angel'" he said,
guiding g .i 'sIpmeet,:, ut
in respnse to the nod. A c i" One who
oothesttlman sin h adversity t e ggcated
c octor was again called in, and said it was
the measles getting out of her system, and
that abe would soon be all right again. The
doctor's statement was not verified, how-
ever, for not only did my dun
improve `-but--- he graduall er-no
worse
Soon after she began to swell fes the feet
then the 'limbs, breast and' face becaw
puffed np. Another doctor was called i
and he pronounced her• trouble dropsy, r
sultieg from the measles. The dost
attended her all winter, and, although
seemed to do all in his power for her, a
gradually became weaker and weaker.
dick -not eat, and • tonics failed to • impr
her appetite, and as she •'gradually g
weaker she ' feat • her courage, felt
hape of life was "fast slipping away
the spring, the doctor's medicine ha
done her no ',god, was' discontinued,
instead he gave her preparations ' of
iron and wine, hypophosphites, eggs, er
etc. In, fact, stimulants of this kin
to be constantly ,forced upon her t
her alive Ind I gave up all hope of h
covert', and in my misery -waited f
death. She was ,now so weak th
•could not walk across the .fleor, :and i
to rest her we would lift her into ir,
where shewould sit for a short wbil en
we would again place fier en She
e
er
he
er
bed
was slowly but surely dying bef
eyes, and nothing we could do
was of ' avail She was still pt;
and-- nothing the doctors coaled
no longer' support her and ab
only 'sit up a very short time e
In this condition she lingered
August, 1891, some fifteen mon
she was first taken ill, and while
sorrowfully awaiting what seemed
evitable end, a ray of hope came.
in a newspaper of a reinarkable
the, use of Dr. Williams' Pink Pall
People, and while I feared that I
of this: wonderful
• e icino to
n s
e company, at B
rsupply.,
Som e
our
her
uould
ouid
day.
until
after
were
he in -
I read
e from
or Pale
on erful m d heard
hoped almost against hope and t et the
headqua*tare of th , Welled
Ont, fora ,ply. At this time < .a was
not
ably to be removed f h r a her
weight was reduced to !t pounds, a�d her
lips were blue.. :You will t bus ,e how
little hope there appeared for her -,lien she.
began the use of Dr. Williams'.
the Pok Fills.
After the bad taken the first. bee although
a demure little girl. • r' And spandi,Fhie 1 e •vias no visible im ry Anent, she
money when he's flush," added the iniotir thought they were doing her'good and her
rigible boy in the corner. There was a lull spirits began to rise. Atthe rhd of the second
box I, could notice .the yrproveoient, and
and the pretty, dark eyed girl saidslowly,Lela was very hopeful, d lif was r+•-
"r A wife is the envy of spinsters:" ." Onp
e p s , as felt q
who makes a . man hustle," was the next
suggestion. " And keeps him from making,
a fool of himself," 'put in another girl.
."Some one for a man"to find fault with
when things go wrong,"apeke up a sorrow-
ful little maiden. • " Stop right these,''
said the pretty school• teacher. " That's
the best definition."•
.!toys and Girls.
A boy hates to have a crowd look at him
but a• girl enjoys it.
It is a pity that n.others cannot sr their
sissy boys as others see them.
A little girl is content 'with a wax doll,
but a boy wants a live dog that will follow
him and chase thiega.
{ening to her again. After she had been
taLng • Dr. William,' Pink fills. for a
moth, she was able to get up, and by Oc-
tobt she was so wen that she i ould super-
intet1 work abou. the house. She 'still
cont wed taking the PiiIs,. and rapidly re•
coved all her old-time health, strength
and ,irits. I cannot tell you," continued'
Mra. ullen,. "how deeply grateful I arn
for ti wonderful medicine that saved my
dauaer's life. You may be, sure that
both•ne and mine will always warmly
rocraiend• *it, as we have every reason
to d"
Ii.1T A i'ROMIyE\T DRUGGIST SAYS.
yr correspondent then called upon Mr.
J. • Templeton, the well-known, drnirgist
If the girls werss sent away to school r 1`tephen avenue. In reply to an enquiry
spent the time in playing match gr Ito what he could tell me abe nt Dr. Wil -
croquet, what a howl there would t P `Ams' Pink Pills, Mi. Templeton replied :
parents ! But.lots of poor people ,fie' r What can I tell you about Fink Pills ?
out money to give their ba -e, 0 „toy
Well, I 'can tell you; they are the most
kick a 1)111 over, the State. wonderful medicine I ever handled, I had.
experience with them in Ontario beforecom-
r• ing here, and in all my I experience' as a
sd ; druggist I never knew any medicine to have
a so suoh a wonderful demand, or give suchgreat
akin- satisfaction. My experience here has been
e has a like my experience in Ontario, all who have
o��.
I used Dr. Williams' Pink Pills speak in their
t res(v. praise, and if I were to tell how many
lee bo 't , boxes I am selling here daily you would be
i readily excused for being soar hat Incredu-
lous. If I am'asked to recommend a medt-
first-c' iOw_the priBOnhcine, I unhesitatingly recommend Irr, Wil-Beeeuse anr's Pink Pills, and my confidence in
e chef jOBa carter °f em has never been misplaced. I have
.n a n who cowl 'eady said the demand for Pink Pills is
tee a """ then
felt like it and �nnishing, and they invariably gi . e the
(lard Preey`
Mise Summit
-.-Mr.
me to the theatre to
I don't know whether.
tosh ready or not. oho
carriage I won't nei''Fa.e•
Dashaway-Yoe
When I saw hint
vet got the tick.
Lawyer -Ho
was intoxicat•
told me six tzdp
hour that ho
take a drinie
leave it aiott
1
publi,;aii.
Baby's Diary for One Day.
Waked up as usual at 3 o'clock in the
orning, and cried until everbtiely else in
he houie was awakened. Then I went to
Jeep again. -•
Was aroused once more at 6 o'clock by a
fly dancing on my face. I tried to hit him
and only succeeded in slapping myself a
hard that I had to scream., ' sereeme
until evrFybody decided to dress, and whe
they were ready for breakfast, half an hou
before breakfast was ready for them, I fe - • . •
My breakfast was served. at 8 o'clock.
don•t.think the cook can be much` good, fit1 never had anything but milk for break
fast,' dinner or any other.meal since I c
remember. After breakfast I saw my bi
brother playing with a jumping jack. .As
wanted it myself I cried until muse mad
brother gave it up. Then brother began t
cry, end because I was sorry for him
cried too. - -
Had lunch at 10 o'clock (same' as break
fast). Went out riding' afterwards in my
carriage, and • cried all the way hom
because nurse wouldn't let me have a nic
big black doggie to carry. He was a. lovel
doggie, and when I screamed he barked
so I screamed real hard lots of times. I
was great fun.. •-
Got ,so tired screaming that I Went
sleep. At 12 o'clock waked and had dinne
(same as breakfast and Iunch),
Mamma played on the piano and sang tA
me. When I tried to sing she laughed, an
as I don't like to be laughed at I cried
t
Nurse said I was a' cry-baby, and cried a
the time at everything, but I don't agre
with hr. I never cry now at meal. times
because I tried, it once and found I couldn'
eat; and cry at the same time, so gave it up.
I have all.night to cry in. if I •tvant to, and
I can't eat then..
Had lots of fun.. Pulled nurse's hair,
then pulled mamma's hair. It wasn't so
much fun when 1 tried to pull brother's
hair, for he slapped my hands. I didn't
hike that, so I cried. Then brother laughed,
and X, cried harder, and'then brether was
sent away. I cried harder than ever at
this, for I wanted to play with brother. •
Had supper at 3 o'clock (same as break-
fast, lunch and dinner). . Got mad, and
dropped the bottle, and cried because I
couldn't have any more supper, as the bottle
was broken. I have discovered that bottles
break. Hooray 1. Tried to tell nurse about
my discovery, and nurse said, "Poor' ittle
sing." I wasn't a "sing," I'm .not ."'ittle"
because there's no such word, and I will
never be""poor;" so I cried.
• From 4 until 5 I made a new record. I
generally cry et 4.:;0 every day, but today
I didn't. I was asleep,
At 5 So I had my last meal of the day, a
new bottle having been procured. I don't
know the name of this meal, but it doesn't
make any difference, for it was the same se
breakfast lunch, dinner and supper. I
went to bed °at 6 o'clock.
At. 9) o'clock I waked up, will hearing
cbmpany down•staira cried for some com-
pany myself. Mamtua came up for me.
Went to sleep. -
Didn't wake up anymore that night after
I went to sleep the last time until the next
morning.—Harper's Yon' f!, People.
a
d
n
e11
I
r
an
e.
e
y
t
to
r
d
•
ll
e
t
Translated Jokes. • •
She -You flatter me greatly, . Barony
though I understand that love -making is
your constant' occupation. Didn't you
propose to my cousin Annie a few weeks
ago ?
He -not ' blame
me, co r the first
time lastyouconsidering
week !
•
action. now t
have �Satas I k his to be so .from
Mrs.
Di e'.9i�'d tis it a sign oht i 1>ix oto nts of customers'. I haveeold here
they ,l �iwl at nig d, n ario thousands of bo and have
Of a death outside husband is a ,
good ah 1. �at a family if the tation in recommending them
Hast tot en lzoura a re erfect blood builder anre r eve
din o at. -worts thiels",bat 'ts rt n1 curing' such iliseasea a9 t;icu•
abet 41'12- es enley Mortis ei ht loc�neurulgis, partial paralysis,
her is his new heel.; •advocates the g hen taxis, tit. Villus' dance; nervous
xaskivs-lt
rvous prostration and the tired
i,
use :few t.
�+ N
'4
I The ped sent Lord Fairfax, who lives in
Virginia, is a doctor andpractices his pro-
fession. In England his title is fully
acknowledged. •
A Matter of Doubt.-" Is that man there
a sculptor or a surgeon ?" " I don't know.
• I%'hy "I heard him say he hard been
doing a football player in plaster." •
Fanttly Finanelering.
They tell me you work for a dollar a day,
How is it you clothe your, silt boys en stt •
pay ?"
' I know you will think it conceited and queer,
Bat I do it because I'm a good financier.
" ThereesPete,..John, Jim arid Joe, and weeliais
and Ned -
A half cozen boys to fie clothed and fed-
" And I buy for them aU good, plain victuals to
eat ;
But clothing -I only buy clothing for;Pete.
" When Pete's clothes are too small for hint t0
get on
My wife makes'em .over, and gives 'em to John.
" When for John, who is ten, they have grown
out of date,
She just makes 'eft over for Jim, who is- eight.
•
" When for Jim they become too ragged to fix,
She just makes 'em over for Joe, who is six,
" And when little Teseph can wear them no
more
She just makes 'em over for Bill, who is four.
" And when for young 13111 they do longer wile
do,
She just makes 'em over for Ned who is two.
"So you see if I can get enough clothing for
Pete
The family is furnished with clothing ,com-
plete."
" But when Ned has got through with the
clothing, and when
He has thrown it aside, what do you do with i0'
then ?"
" Why once more we go round the circle come
plete
And begin to use it for patches fcr Pete."
-Christian at Work.
%rtlflcatfon.
She was cultivates to an altitude of Boston ice
and snow. „.. •
And what she'd not a smattering of there was
• no use to know.
She spoke with English accent in her foreign
travels gained,
And the hand she wrote was angular by pray-
tice hard obtained.
To all that made propriety she was a devotee
And the shocking things that some girls did
were very sad to see,
She dearly loved the service of a ritualistic
church,
But her slangy little sister said, "I'll call her
off her perch."
So on a Sabbath morning, when the sun was
shining bright,
She trippd•,d with dainty bag in hand•to find nob
breadth. but height,
Arid in the softened colors of the -transcript's
mellowed mist,
She drew forth not er brayer book, but thab
odious " Pole on tfi hist."
Mary Jane.
_ I have thought of getting married
7 -When I've seen thee, Mary Jane,
Witt the dainty silks and satins,
With thy petticoat, and train ;
But a whisper came across me,
-Like a sign with onicn rife. '
" Ah 'tis very well t° harry,
But oh ! canst thou ke.-p a wife l"'
If the last new bonnet suits thee,
Canst though wear it still the same.
Though a newer iatter•n tempt thee,
Lastly handed down to fame ?
Will a dress or two content thee,
W hen; stern fashion orders more, •
And a solitary headdress do,
Instead of half a score'?
But they tell ire I am raving,
To expect so strange a thing,
And they laugh to scorn my musings
And the hopes to which 1 cling.
So I fear I trust resign thee,
-And a, bachelor remain,' Yet Yct I never can forget
Oh, too costly Mary Jano.
The Gloomy Beason.
The snow and sleet and fog may come,
And all the world grow dreary ;.
Upon the glass rain -fingers drum
And men outside be weary ;;
But once inside•a well-wardted room,
Feet braced upon a radiator,'
What need one care for outeraloom-
Why should one be a winter hater!
Deep hiduen'in a mackintosh,
With ears in collars palisaded,
It is a joy to go and slosh
About in streets the clonds have shaded,
. Then in the court of one's room
To sit with hobson, Lang or Pater,
With Gibbon, Addison or Hume-
Why need one be a winter hater
It Followed Naturally.
He called her miss;
And she called.him mister ;
They continuedthis •
Till one night lie kissed her.
Then theirbashfullness':
They min- was fo'ly;
Now he calls her Bess
And she calls' him Cholly.
Fatal Defect afliis Character.
" Yes, sir," Paid the tough with a bat-
tered hat, wiping his'nose with the back of
his hand, " 1 wunst had the chance to nab
a clears, $25,000 from, an express comp'ny.
I could 'a took it an' got away, too. An' I
didn'tdo it.''
" Wot ailed you, Bill ?" asked the hard
citizen .with the red comforter round his
neck. "• W'y didn't you swipe it an' light
out V'. •
"4 hadn't the- moral courage, Jake ; I
hadn't the mcral courage."
Hili„athin.
Irate father -The idea of a son of mine
disgracing me. by being arrested for drunken-
ness, and • disorderly conduct 1 What did
the judge say to you ?
Penitent son-Why-.-er-he appeared to
know you. He said," Well, one can't blame
the boy so much, heti a chip off the old
block;" andJn.let me go with a reprimand.
AA Debt of donor.
"•It'ilinny," ,said li+s father, " I'm sorry,
but 1 shall have to whip you. Yourteacher
says that 5c1.1 rind that Green boy haven't
be in to school for over a week ; What have
you' to 83) •?
" I cannot teil a lie, father," said tho
brave boy. " It was au election bet."
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,Readlnfi Aloud.
There is a good old,cestom which, it is to
eared, has fallen into neglect, and, if so,
ertainly deserves to be revived. It is that
f reading aloud. in the family or other social
ircle. Cold print lacks the charm of the•.
iving human voice.-eVew York Pre,s,Q.
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Mrs. Bingo -I don't see what, you asked
hat young Simpson to• take Christmas
inner with us for. You might have known•
here wasn'.t room enough for him at the
able.- Clara -I know it, mother, ut Igot
11 mixed up. I counted only one chair fir
oth of us.
" I am not afraid to say what I think,"
exclaimed.Htland ; " I always express nip
views." " They are ton heavy to go .by,
mail, I suppose,"replied Lorimer.
bliss (la'ket-J}r. Fosdick rails on n?i••
relif;iously dn+e .t att•k, alis. Pltpp-ll•h
do you say " religiously ''' Ih c.+ ho gn o.
his knees and pray you to marry hint? Mie
Gasket -No ; we ate already engagFd,
go on his knees.
kor
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