HomeMy WebLinkAboutLucknow Sentinel, 1892-06-17, Page 20
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roarin' of the city, with its engines an
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•• !arid. the (1041
44e,e0111447--YOU get so much
!--•s'iittle of its sorrow, of its tears and of its
ettrife,
Veit.V1.Waetto get off with yqu\ and just riot in
Ieer3or,
01.04r4404,3)1.1r cool branches like I used to
' • 'When a. bey 1
The Advent or Eittnnuer.
The tennis blazer soon will come
Vier brighten up the emerald, lawn•,
Amid in hie fishing togs we'll see
Th i3 fisherman steal forth at dawn.
In_yachting sett, with buttons big, .
The youth the quarter deck will stritt
And 1411i :grayed in coo bright,
• claS4414fignre he will out
W01-§eet.bintwolk'along the beach '
Ip ot1ngsunt ofnobby style ;
Or else arrayed for mountain climbs.
• ' Thelininraer hours away he'll while.
And as the summer girl he seekt
With suits unnumbered, far away
IFIls tailor will remain at home,
And wonder when he'll get his way.
SPLINTERS' NOVEL
•
I'l4Vitift her heir Or weeasillg Inaull
WecisteOat or beenrring Mtt.1!..reautteli's
nge io orae other pemeliar w
etraYing hiel‘oonfidercel4rYriette44teued'4i9Split v,my
to hemeelf. " I never breathed' that Affair
,etf MO to a living soul."
" And yetr-wait a bit, now --4 did, too,
Tiff .rweie rare &Ways ofroses, spirrea,
Memorial DAT wereueeee,
Aunt Samantha's. Roma was in the ara• flowers to slimly
leer a story to 'liven her up a bit. And so 1 hydrangeas and dentziao, mignonette,
began : Once upon a time I knew a fellow,' heliotropes and pansies. litireny floret tributes
and then, half unconsciously, Frank's story will be placed over the graves of departed
*slipped but bit by bit. I changed • the ,BEr. heroea. With the advent of eunsmer, ap-
rwottuantedinvegr8. and did not mention any wanes pear gay coaching parties in Central Park.
The roade a,re kepe In perfect order and, the
"It's Rosie -that's who is at the bottom trees and shrubs show the gardeners' at
of the whole affair 1" . tention. In Madison Square the floral dis-
Presently, when he grew calmer, be play is limited to pansies and daieies. The
opened Rosie's letter: fountain in the centke of the tiquare sur-
rounded with urns of granite, filled with
how 4o you take your new honors ? Think of choice flowers. The seats in this park are
MY DEAR Oft,D Joerw.-Well, old fellow, and
ou as a novelist 1 And you have brought it meetly occupied by the better class
11 ourself you know. You =mut blame of people. ' The park is a nursery
play ground. UniowSquare, in the centre
of the city, is au inviting spot eud affords a
convenient breathing piece for busy shoppers.
City Hall Park is a haven of rest from ehe
turmoil of Wall street and the busy com-
mercial centres. To study human nature in
its various phases' Battery Park should be
the objective point. Here the emigrant
first sets foot on American soil. All
nationalities are represented. A party of
Danish and Scandinavian women landed
yesterday to join their future husbands in
Wisconsin. '..Chis perk has been much im-
proved. A new sea wall and promenade
have been Wilt, from which a good view of
the harbor and shipping may be obtained.
The Statue of Liberty lifts her enlightening
torch and stands in bold relief in the dis-
tance. All these parks bre well arranged
for the comfort of the people. The best of
order prevails and the police enforce a
strict surveillance.
Decoration Dee, was observed as a general
public holiday. There was a parade .of all
the posts of the Grand Army of the Re-
public, escorts of regular troops, and the
New York regiments of the National Guard.
The State -troops were the 69th, followed
by the 8th, 9th and 22nd regiments, the 7th
next ; then came the 12th and 71st regi-
ments. The 1st Battery, the Naval Reserve
Artillery, Torpedo Corps and Signalmen and
three battalions of ma e hies, ambulance corps
and ahattery of artillery, with four guns,
completed the military display. The parade
was 8,000 strong and was reviewed by Mayor
Grant. More than 3,000 veterans passed
the stand. The parade formed in Fifth
avenue, just below Central Park,
Square, and then to Fourth avenue
and marched down to
and Fourteenth street where it dis-
banded. Memorial services were held at
General Grant's tomb. General Horace
Porter delivered ,the oration and the Loyal
Legion was present. There were also
exercises at the Seventh Regiment monu-
ment in Central Park. Flags weir) at half
mast and impressive services were held in
Many of the churches. The statues in the
public squares were altdecorated. Lincoln's
statue in Union Square was decorated with
flowers 'contributed by the school children.
On each side of the base ef the statue were
floral shields bearing the words " loyalty,"
" prosperity, " charity," "peace, "
" liberty." The status of Lafayette was
encircled with wreaths and garlands of
flowers. • The Worth monument and
-Farragut's statue were decked with flags.
At the close of the war on Aprilthesixth,the
first post of theGrand 'Army of theRepublic
was organized. The movement met with
popular approval and posts were established
in every part of the north from the Atlantic
to the Pacific. The 13th of May is desig-
nated for the purpose of strewing with
flowers and decorating the graves of com-
rades who died in the defence of their
country.
The ministerial vacations are now in
order and many of the prominent pastors go
abroad for the summer months. The Rev.
Dr. Parkhurst preached an'effective sermon
in the Madison Square Presbyterian church,
on Sunday morning. Ile chose for kis text
" There remain e a rest." The church was
crowded to the doors, and those who went
expecting to hear a sensational sermon. were
disappointed. The doctor read a. carefully
prepared sermon. Hie logic is forcible. He
is keen of intellect andproclaims the Gospel
of the New Testament ewitla uncertain
sound. His sentences are short and crisp.
He does not aim at rhetoric. His voice is
clear and may be heard distinctly in every
part of the church. In his opening remarks
he said : " Rest lies in the distance. It is
ever before a Christian. To -day we live in
expectation. Expectation is the prolific
mother of disappointment. The less we
expect of life the easier we get along. It is
this coetimial thinking that to -morrow is
going to be different that makes the
trouble."
Perhaps no clergyman has had so much
publicity of late as Dr. Parkhurst. He has
not escaped contumely. His friends in the
ministry who have expressed adverse views
object, teehis methods and not to the prin-
ciple. , He has succeeded in arousing public
sentiment and has the sympathy and confi-
denee of the community. He is Preeident
of the Society for the Pzevention of Crime,
and did not represent the church or go 'RS a
minister. He went to get the facts to prove
that the laws were being openly violated.
His own congregation did not know of his
intentions, so his wife 139.578, and she dught
York.
Dr
He is a power for good in New
Dr. Rainsford, pastor of St. George%
Church, is 'Working on the same lines. He
would confine vice to certain cliatricts. He
believes that every successful movement for
cleanliness and order should have its force
and strength in the church, politics ex-
cepted. He believes that vice should not
after a fashion. It wa,s last outwear, u . at
(lag 13,was TROX Goniou
the Churches sinttitneeeee!
eeedIngs of Decoraitlen. Day -No Afro -Ira
1res 10 the Oty,
NOW Yak never looked more attractive
than it does at the present time. The recent
mine and weenier weather have developed
the foliage. There wee a great demand for
USA 3 poor hale me, for I wrote and gave you a fair
warning that I was going to use your name,
and I took your silence tor consent. T am sure
you ought to feel very grateful towards me.
And now, I've just one little favor to ask of
you. Den't peach on me, John, dear ; at all.
events not until auntie gets alittle more settled
down. I was very- indiscreet tq introduce that
little " Danger Signal." I never saw auntie in
such a rage in all my lite, and that's saying a,
good deal, you know. It is not very much to
asko seeing that you are so far away Vona the
volcano. Your affectionate cousin, Rosin.
Now Rosie was a very nice -a most par-
ticular y nice -little girl, Sp n r
used 1 te to
think, until he paid that memorable visit to
Brighton. .Even new he would do a great
deal for Rose, and of at:tura-elle must great
Ile Didn't Write it, But it Caused Him
Pleat? of Trouble.
HE moat odd part of the whole
affair was that John Haverstraw
Splinter had not the remotest thing
• to do with his sudden leap into
fame.
He had left the London suburb
in which he resided early in June, a
very ordinary little doctor intent
'Onhuilding up a practice; and 'ever since,
except for two short -and too short -weeks
at Brighton, he had been buried in a little
fishing village away down on the coast of
Dorsetshire.
• He had gone there to study, and there-
fore he left newpapers, story books and cor-
respondence behind,
, So far as the story books went it cost hiir
no self-denial to forego theta. Splinter didn't
believe in them; he consirered them very
Useless if not absolutely pernicious.
A novel had lately dawned upon the
literary horizon with the somewhat singular
title of " The Girl with the Psyche Knot."
It was an effusion in a paper cover, and
it had a picture of the heroine with her hair
sorewed up into a Psyche knot adorning the
front page.
Just below it large red letters announced
that its author was J. Haverstraw Splinter.
bitiw, in the train the previous night, Splin-
ter had read a criticism of this novel in one
of the evening papers. This paper spoke in
the highestterms of its undeniable clever-
ness and brought its article to a close with
the following little eulogy •
• "To readers jaded with the recent glut of
effeminate effusions The Girl with the
Psyche Knot" will come like a whiff of
sea breeze. There is an. uumistakable smack
of masculinity about this little book which
unconsciously proclaims its author to be a
thorough man of the world. Mr. Js Haver -
straw Splinter possesses the virtue, so rake
in our day, of writing of what he knows."
Now, when Splinter'inew his name so un-
expeotedlyin print it gave him quite a little
start, but never for one instant did he real-
ize that it was to his identical self that the
article. referred.
It was not till he had reached his lodg-
ings and had perused a few of the scores of
letters which be found awaiting him that
the full significance of, the situation dawned
upon his bewildered mind.
Two or three of them were from publish-
ers, offering liberal terms fortis next novel.
At last he toured a letter, the hand -writ-
ing of which was familiar. Continuing his
search until the bottom. of the pile was
reached, he found in all four letters which
he laid aside.
One was from Miss Fry, a wealthy patient
of his; another was from Frank Dexter, his
greatest chum, and the other two were from
Aunt Samantha and his pretty little cousin
Rosie. He opened Miss Fry's letter firet.
'SIR, -My sisters and myself would be greatly
obliged it you would favor us with your
account at your earliest convenience. Wo find
ourselves the victims of a confidence wholly
naisplaced. We had no idea that you combined
with your medical practice a capacity for writ-
ing novels My sisters and I have considered
you far above the flippancy and worldly ten-
dencies of the average medical student. It is
with deep mortification that we now discover
that the man whorl we trusted. is guilty of
writing a most obnoxious noyel, which is on
'sale at all the bookstalls,
. Then came the. signature, " Catharine
Fry," and Splinter could see the icicles
upon it.
Splinter gave vent to a long, low whistle,
and then tore open the letter from Frank.
It was a long letter, covering many pages,
but when he had finished it Splinter's face
was a sight to behold. There was a time,
wrote Dexter, when he realty flattered
himself that he had enjoyed Splinter's full
confidence. He had lived to see his mis-
• take.
When, however, for lack of an original
idea he had taken the incidents • of an
' affair from real life, which had been con-
fided to him under conditions of the
strictest secrecy, and had used them in
the. most barefaced manner for the plot of
his novel, it was about time for some
body to characterize him as an unmiti-
gated cad.
Aunt Samantha's missive was short, but
extremely to the point :
John : I didn't believe you had enough in
,you to write a book of' any sort, let alone a
novel. L read the book and laughed over it,
and thought that old frump, Lady Thermo-
pyla3, a perfect idiot. And:now all my friends
here tell me it's a canital portrait of me.
That's what I cannot forgive you -making fun
of your poor old stunt I Henceforth you are no
longer my nephew ; I wash my hands of you
entirely. and dear little iltosie is now to be my
heir. Your aunt that was, but is no longr.
SAM ANTRA PLUNKETT.
Splinter lay back in his chair and fairly " Nes, John -what ? '
gasped- If it hadn't been for his misurr- " Do you think it's long enough for two 2"
derstanding with Dexter; Splinter could -Boston Olobe.
have felt, comparatively speakine,' light -
Strati er--" How is New York this
her request. bi=11 tan
There was a rap at the door, and a note
was handed in. It was written from
Brighton, and "said briefly that mamma
and the writer would be in town on the
morrow and wouldn't Mr. Splinter come
and dine with them.
They had not read " The Girl with the
Psyche Knot " yet, for they could not
obtain a poppy of it at Brighton for love Or
money. They would get copies as soon as
they reached London, however. The letter
was signed by " Violet Lansing."
" I suppoise it would be as well to read
the book myself," he thought. " It
would be rather a singular thing for an
author to know nothing about his own
book."
So he went out to the bookstall and
asked for a copy of "The Girl with the
Psyche Knot."
At the Lansings' hotel, to his dismay, he
met Frank Dexter. Splinter came towards
him and held his hand out.
- say, Frank, old man," he exclaimed,
" I got that letter of yours. But it's not
true what you think of me -really it's not.
Trust me jnst for a day or two, old fellow,
and I will then be able to explain every-
thing."
DeXter rose from the piano and stood
facing him, with a stern look upon his
face.
"It's not one of those things which
admit of explanation. But this is no
place to discuss this matter. I'll see you
again. I'd no idea you were coming here
tonight."
The ladies came in presently, and after
Mr. Splinter had submitted to effusive
compliments from both of them, Mrs.
Lansing suddenly exclaimed:
"Dinner won't be ready for half an
hour. • Mr. Splinter, I leave Viola here to
entertain you, and as for you, Frank, do
play something like a good fellow. As for
me, I want to finish the "Girl." It's per-
fectly delightful."
Splinter knew that such an opportunity
would probably never occur again. While
Dexter in his sonorous voice was informing
the community at large that he was
" O'Donohue " of the Square," John"Haver-
straw, Splinter asked Viola Lansing if she
would be his wife.
She blushed of course and hung her head
down, but before she could give any definite
answer Mrs. Lansing broke in suddenly
upon them.
M ra. Lansing's pleased appearance had
undergone a sudden change.
" Mr. Splinter," she exclaimed, "is this
true? Are you really a married man?"
" Why, my dear Mrs. Lansing, of course
not ! What makes you think —"
"Indeed Then how does it happen that
you have dedicated this novel to your wife ?
Read that, Viola."
She held the book up so that both of
them could see, and pointed With her
forefinger to an 'inscription on the opening
page:
" To my wife, whose unwavering love
has ever proved my source of inspiration,
this little volume is affectionately in-
scribed by the author."
For one instant Splinter stood there
striving vainly to frame some words of
excuse. Then, as Viola fell fainting into
her mother's arms, he tore into the hall,
and seizing his hat, rushed breathlessly
from the house,
That night, and the day that followed,
seem all a blur to Splinter. He entered a
train, he remembers, and after a Jong
journey he reached Rosie's home. The
servants said that she was down in the
garden, and there he found her curled up
in the hammock; looking prettier than
ever. There was a bunch of dog roses
pinned into her belt, and somehow all of
a eudlen the charms of Viola began to
wane.
And then Splinter sat down and told her
of all his troubles from the beginning to the
end-all except the Lansing episode, which
he omitted for reasons of his own.
Oh, I'm so awfully, awfully sorry,
John 1" she said. " And yours was such a
lovely long name, John, that I "—
They went up to the house in a little
while after that and had an interview with
Aunt Samantha. Then a long letter was
written to Frank and another to Mrs.
Lansing.
It was jut about a week later that
Splinter remarked :
" I say, Rosie."
yes. e
" Do you remember what you said about
any name being so long ?"
" Yes, John."
" I say, Rosie." '
inaintaies that a.minister is a apiritual
physician and should not refuse to go into
the wide; of the worst disease if duty
- threit
121W-atisCana reoveue oug -pup:Moans EAR
einners. •
The subscriptions to the Grant Memorial
fund endure the building of aneappropriete
monuneeett. Contribution boxes Were placed
in public resorte throughout the city. Up
to date over three thousand dollars has been
The first of a series of concerts was given.
in Madison Square Amphitheatre on Mon-
day evening. Gilmore% Band was the at-
traction. The soloists were Signor Raffay-
ole, Signor Carnpaeini, Mise Ida Klein,
Mr. Herbert L. Clarke and Signor Sartori.
The roof garden a the same auilding and
the tower were dedicated. This will be an
attractive place during the warm season.
The performance on the roof was given by
a mandolin orchestra, arid skirt dancing by
Miss Minnie Renwoqd.
The New York Herald is starting . a fund
to supply the poor with ice during the
heated term.
The politicians are organizing for the
campaign.
There are to be no trolley wires in New
York. The objections are not to the poles
but to the wires themselves. New York
wants no overhead wires. A syndicate are
anxious for the right to build and operate
the trolley system under the elevated roads.
A commission has been formed to inquire
whether the people of New York and
Brooklyn want to be united under one local
government for a greater New York.
The warm wave has arrived and the
mercury rose to 90* at 3 o'clock yesterday,
Wednesday. Two days of summer heat
will be followed by cooler weather.
The ways that are dark and tricks that
are vain still flourish. Bunco men lie in
wait for the unwary. Thefts occur inbreed
daylight, aud the precaution to " look to
your watches' and • "beware e of pick-
pockets" is impressed on the public mind by
conspicuous notices in all public places and
street ears. HAMILTON.
WAX WitiPIATIVANT E'4 JIINE.
AA* the Segiuning of the Astronoss‘tit
• - Runiut.er,
The choicest gift in the power of June to
beatow to summer solstice, Which
occurs on the 20th, at 6 hours 16 minutes
in the evening, as the ewe eaten the
sign of the Crab and astronomical manner
begins.
The moon quarters early in the morning
ofethe-20doef-Juneaundethe-followingsdayeui.---------
in couiunction with Saturn. Oa the 6th
there is conjunction with Uranus.
The next conjunction ia with Mars on the
14th, followed five days later by Jupiter
end the waning orescent being at their
closest for the month. Neptane's turn
comets next.
On the 24th Mercury and the young moon
hobnob together, and on the 25th we have
Venus ia conjunction.
e.
BONNET STRINGS.
To Wear or,, Not to Wear Them. That is the
Question.
Venus graces the month by appeariPFi
her role of greatest brilliancy. She
1 21
pursuing us as we revolve about the
and as she draws_nearer her size increases.
She is, however, yielding to the strain of
the chain that binds her to the sun, and
before the mouth closes the beautiful queen
of the night will De lost to us.
Mars is morning atar, although he rises a.
little after 11 o'clock in the evening and
gets up earlier and earlier as the month
advances. He is growing large quite per-
ceptibly and at the close of June will be
four times the size he was when the year
began. In August, when he is in appo-
sition, he will be a most glorious object and
we shall have his ruddy face to gaze upon
throughout the night.
Saturn is evening star. His steady light,
of a alightly ruddy tinge, makes him queite
easily distinguished, as he bears south abat
7 o'clock and is about half way betw%n
overhead and the horizon.
Jupiter is morning etar and rises about
2 o'clock. He is nearly at the average dis-
tance from the earth, but is gradually ap-
proaching us and in consequence gaining
in brilliancy and size. -New York Times.
" I am getting old," said a pretty woman
in a Sixth avenue car the other day. " I
realize ib this spring whea I try on those
gauzy, girlish -looking hate. The other day
1 put on one of those hats with a Tam o'
Shutter crown,and it added ten years to my
age. I- must have fallen into the.' sere and
yellow leaf' state, for I used to look well in
anything a little rakish. 1 affected fore and
aft caps, saucy little turbans, aud \looked
• well even in a billycock hat. Oh, the times
that was 1" And she heaved a sigh that
sounded genuine.
" Speaking of headgear," Eaid her com-
panion, " how much bonnet strings become
some women! They cover a scrawny neck,
and hide the tell-tale line that is so apt to
lurk under one's ear. Some one has said
that no woman over 25 should omit them-
strings,I mean. " Jo," she said, turning to
the third girl, " you ought to have them on
this minute."
" Humph," said number three. " If
wearing strings is equal to owning that I
am over twenty-five then I am not going to
do it. It would advertise my age. if I
don't wear them the fact that I am twenty-
seven may never dawn on people. See?"
" I have been called Mrs. several times
lately," remarked the first speaker. . " I
wore that little black, velvet hat last Winter
with a matronly strap under the ebin.. I
had occasion to wait in a drug store while a
prescription was being filled, and I gave my
name without any Miss or Mrs. Presently
the clerk called, Mrs. Smith, your parcel
is ready.' The same thing happened in the
Express office one day. I felt quite 'set
up about it, and I charged the dignity to
the bonnet strings." -New York Recorder.
Conidn't Get Ahead of Alger.
!wow Married People Alight be Happier.
Married people would be happier -if
home troubles were never told to a neigh-
bor. If expenses were proportioned .to
receipts. If they tried to be as agreeable as/
in courtship days. If each would try to be
a support and comfort to the other. If
each remembered the other was a, human
being, not an angel. If each was as kind to
the other as when they were lovers. If fuel
and provisions were laid in during the high
tide of summer work. If both parties re-
membered that they married for worse as
well as for better. If men wore as thought-
ful for their wives as they were for their
sweethearts. If there were fewer silk and
velvet , street costumes, and more plain,
tidy house. dresses. If there were fewer
" please darlings " in public and
more common manners in private. If
masculine bills for Havanas and feminine
ditto far rare lace were turned into the
general fund until such times as they
could be incurred without risk. If men
would remember that a woman cannot be
always Braiding who has to cook the dinner,
answer the' door -bell half -a -dozen times,
and get rid of a neighbor who has dropped
in, tend a sick baby, tie up the cut finger
ot a 2 -year-old, tie up the head of a
6 -year-old on skates, and get an 8 -year-old
ready for school, to say nothing of sweep-
ing, cleaning, dusting, etc. A woman with
all this to contend with may claim it as a.
privilege to look and feel a little tired
sometimes, and a word of sympathy would
not be too much to expect from the man
who, during the honeymoon, would not
(says an exchange) let her carry as much as
a sunshade.
" The boys in blue know how hard that
is," he said. " If put on the Republican
ticket, the devil himself won't catch him. I
followed him up through Michigan a few
years ago. At a farm house I met a lovely
young girl and asked her if she knew Gen.
Alger. " Oh, yes 1 she replied, he has just
been .here.' Then took out a stibk of
candy and gave it to her., Did Gen. Alger
give you candy?' I asked. ' Oh, yes !' she
said, he gave me a whole paper full of nice
candy. Not to be outdone, I pulled out a
dime and gave it to her. Did Gen. Alger
give you any money-?' I asked. ' Oh, yea!'
she answered, he gave me Whole silver dol-
lar.' Then I thought I would get ahead of
Alger. I gathered her right up in my arms
-she wasn't over 15 or 16 years old -and
kissed her rosy lips. Did Gen. Alger kiss
you.?' I asked. Oh 1' she said, Gen.
Alger is such a nice man. _He kissed ide,
and he kissed ma, too 1' Then I gave up. in
despair. I couldn't get ahead of Alger.' " -
John 31. Thurston.
• Bathing For Sleep.
There is always a difference of opinion as
to how a bath should be taken -that is, in
respect to the-Aemperature of the water.
One authority assures us that a hot bath is
a strong stimulant and should never be "used
by a person in strong health. Ninety
degrees is the limit of the warm bath. It
is the highest temperature safe to use and it
is almost as high as any one would be likely
to take it. But physicians often prescribe
a higher temperature for certain physical • •
ailments. A salt bath taken at night at a
temperature of 80 to 85 degfees will often
induce a pleasant sleep when nothing else
will./ It ,has a peculiarly -soothing effect
upon the nerves and will send restless
babies, tired with teething, into,-• whole-
some sleep, when narcotics are aka t .use-
less. The best salt for this purpos is rock
salt, which may be purchased for a small
price by the peck at almost any grocery
store.
Fasten the Rugs Down.
Rugs have nearly driven carpets out.
There is a gain here in health and cleanli.
ness, though with some disadvantages.
There are rugs.that will not stay in place,
but insist on turning up, tripping the unwary
foot and committing all kinds of mischief -
making which such a depraved floor -covering
may be guilty of. Where such is the ease
it is best to have sockets sunk in the floor
at the corners to hold them down. Any
carpet Man will prepare such sockets and
fasten the rug in them in such a manner as
to make the fastening almost invisible.
Rugs which are made up from carpeting are
often very troublesome and refuse to lie in
place until they are shrunk to the floor. In
order to shrink such a rug it must be free
from all. dust. . The floor must then be
cleaned as clean as possible and the rug
stretched and nailed firmly to the floor.
When itis securely down it must be , damp.
be licensed: To enforce the present law
ened thoroughly and allowed to dry on the
would be to make the evil stronger. He
the tenement houses, boarding houses and k floor.
Tit for Tat.
thinks the evil would then be forced into
hotels. In the course of Ms sermon he Chumley (who is off the track) -Tell me,
said : " You cannot remove ate evil without ' Pat, do you know where the C. H. & D.
putting something better in its place. Let depot Is?
us know where vice is and it will be easier' Patrick -Shure, how did yez know ine
to deal with it. We can then bo sure that name was Pat ?
the police cannot blackmail it." He dill' Chumley -Oh, guessed it, dear boy.
cussed the drink evil, and favors making Pt2-Well, then, yez can just guess where
bar -rafts as good as possible, and keeping
the depot is.
them open at certain hours on Sunday.
• Rev. John Balcom Shaw, of the West -To the woman editor of a woman's
hearted. End Presbyterian Church, is preaching paper who is see ting some i new in
e He could exist without the patronage of season -pretty lively ?" Native-" dust so 1" Municipal Reform." He wants to -unite Bathing suits this year, the Detroit free
the Misses Fry, and he knew quite well so. The preachers seem to be having all 1 all the churches in the crusadeagainst vice. Press suggests more material and a little
that some of these days Rosie would be the fun." -New York Herald, ' Ho approves of Dr. Parkhuret's plan. He modesty.
Tbe Preacher of the Wature•
Rev, S. Magni Getthere : Well, have
you discovered anything ?
Private Detective -Yes, I have unearthed
an A 1 scandal.
Rev. S. M. G. -Have the papers got it
yet ?
Private Detective -No !
Rev. S. M. G. -Good ! Leave your notes
with me. Have the bulletin board hung out
and rubh dodgers around town announcing
that I preach an " Extra " tonight.
Makes a Difference,.
Chicago Tribune' : Mr. Billus-Chug- •
water, 1 am having a lightning -rod put on
my home. Do you believe in lightning rods?
Mr. Chugwater-I haven't much faith in
them. But what kind of roof tas your
house?
"A tin roof."
" What kind of tin ?"
" What difference does it make?"
"Alt the difference in the world, BMus.
If it's American tin it's protected already."
-Boiled starch is much improved by the
addition of a litttle salt or dissolved gum
arable.
-Ethel-I hope the men aren't going to
wear those horrid broad -brimmed straw
hats again this summer. -Maud-Why
Ethel -Because they MIRA 011e)8 bangs up
so much.
-Miss Elder -Well, I maintain that
women can do anything men can." Mr.
Ganam-,-Oh no. The auctioneer's business
is one woman cannot go into." "Nonsense
She makes every bit as good an auctioneer
as a man." " Weil, just imagine an un-
married woman getting up before a crowd
and exclaiming, Now, gentlemen, all I
want is an offer.' "
-Naturalists say that a. single swallow
will devour 6,000 Iltes i3O a day.
•11,
F$