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HomeMy WebLinkAboutLucknow Sentinel, 1891-10-09, Page 7.th • 00 age 1..14,, act,-agttn, `,01fg, -46.` - "PC, IBS TALKED 'Ted SOON. Xoublrhyolcisik Who Wishes Ile Mad A. certain well-known German 1:thysioitui of the south aide, .aye the St. Louie Republic, was the victim of his own " previousness " the other day. He had successfully treated a ,weAklthy._lady' utir-fci; diphtheria and the lady -was extremely grateful for it. When the child was thoroughly w1 mother and daughter appeared •at the phyeician's office. The little OA shyly 'handed the pbyiia 0- neat knit pnrse,, while the lady. went on to say ; "For having saved my child, doeter„.1 want_ tO present. y0n, With this puree.' • ," • " But," said tho,physioian„after an din- barrassingpartife,TYr- Etleety�ubflr , .• 410340y,itinehed-Ali. me have the urse, , e :GOO WO 1 00 o it an re- turned it to him with the remark : " There are 000 in thereCnow, so your bill is paid," and left the room. Now the doctor is cursing. his clumsy al,willwarnizeziLT-M Mg' 4,ra Ra little speech cost him just $200. Wisdom From Ranmas. The Lord hears lots about the faults of husbands from over religious wives. The trouble in love' affair e is that the parties to it love too omelet° love long. 'UNPROFITABLE POLITENEBOt 'A MUMMY •PIT. — 461. The ,181efele Halide and Wel Wiggins Laiit Winter's Discovery JIA,. tka Ecernpolla he rave. 4 iffeeto She had to er safety for some reason and was eying to get on again, says the Chicage.Tribune. Some girls can get •on a. safety without assistanee and some. iav-Sibrwairoftliblattel-olifia. ' A. young man dressed in the height of style stopped, watched be. make two in- effectual attempts, laughed and went on. A business man, chuckled as ehe nearly fell, but did.o.otetop.; . A Weirdiessed -woman; said she ought to be ashamed Of herself fer enjoying snob -a masculine 'sport ' and continued On her way. _Iieveral.peopkgpassed-inAuick-succession,-.-• and one or two stopped. 4.11 seemed to en- . ber diseomfAute... ThesittAtton„bsete 00Itetli,. *WOW -that she ViChekiii ' Then a shabby looking man shuffled up: He saw her predicament, but he didn't laugh. He lifted his dilapidated bat politeiy and said: " Can't I hey yon.4 miss ?" • almost discouraged by this time. " Please hold the machine steady." • He held while she got on. " I'm ever so much obliged to you sir," she said gratefully. " Now, if you'll give it a push, be all right." . • 44 Yo.a haven't got a dime for a feller &die of Thebes. On February 6th, a discovery was made in the necropolis of Thebes, second only in importance to the discovery of the royal Maspero in 1881. About half a mile from Dehr-el- Beihari a pit has been found containing several hundred magnificent mummies. These, like the royal mummies, had evidently been removed from the tomb and voncealed' in this receptacle, al3 preetAtion, by the Servants of the priests, probably at tbeffane time. Pia for the sainc reason vvhiell canoed the, royal mummies to be placed in the receptacle wherel.they:•worl =fOundbyl.4.-M-a,spere.- This risenthalikbe- lieved byM. Maspero to have takon place clit'Lli&Teign-pfAiaupa _esini-o,740.4n 411,10"-tivenotsAttii$4,4 ayn-aistect 17* 96B .a. onien ve men every day they . _nan't trust. . There are none against whom men need protection so much as those whom they im- plicitly trust. A friend's help in you troubles never • travels beyond the point w re it affects his own interests. It not unfrequently is the 'case that one friend makes a man more trouble than two enemies cause him. The best -loved man is he who gives the most ; he is also the one least regarded when he stops giving. • That men are different from women is considered by the men as a sufficient war- rant for all their follies. • " I wish I was a man," said a woman the ether day. " It is always fashionable for them to be comfortable." -Atchison Globe. The Fools are Not All Dead. A lazy man, whose horses and cart were. stuck in the mud, prayed to Jupiter for help. Jupiter answered: " Fool ! get up and put your shoulder to the vvheel, and do not call on me when you can help yourself." Foolish people buy medicines hap -hazard, blindly trusting to promises. tvithout'a guarantee. Dr. Pierce's kei, den Medical - Discovery is guaranteed to cure colds, coughs, all lung affections, an even Con- sumption, in its early stages, It puts to rout all stomach troubles, purifies the blood, gives healthful hction, to the sluggish liver, and drives blemishes from the skin. It is an honest medicine, and an invaluable ,health insurance policy which should never be allowed- lapse: All druggists keep it. Cure For Corns. An absolute and permanent cure for corns is the rest cure, says_ a New York Times writer. If you can go -into a fortnight's seclusion, giving out that your ankle is sprained, and keep -the corn foot in a stock- ing and wool bedside slipper, without . pressure, and useing only when walking about the room, the corns will disappear and will, not return. All inflammation sub- sides first and the corn becomes loose and easily detached and that is thb end of it. For Soft corns the constant wearing of a bit of old linen saturated every morning with sweet oil is said to be a sure cure. From the, beginning he pain of the in- fliction ceases, and after a time the corn it- self loosens and falls out. 'Both these remedies are from good authority, and will bear trial ; the first one, perhaps, being rather difficult of accomplishment, since many of the acids and •corn salves sold, irritate and produce soreness, and the knife of the chiropodist is apt to afford merely temporary relief. A Big Plant. According to E. Leader Williams, Engi- neer.in-Chief of the Manchester Ship Canal, England, the plant used on that work con- sisted of 97 steam excavators, 8 steam dredgers, 173 locomotives, 6,300 trucks, and cars, 228 miles of single track railivay, 'costing about $3,150 per mile,124 steam • cranes, 192 portable and- othr steam en- gines, and 212 steam pumps of all sizes. The maximum laboring force was 17,000 men and boys and 200 horses. The coal consumed amounted, to 10,000 tons per. -- month. The total excavation was about 4000,000 cubic yards, including 10,000,000 , ctibie yards of sandstone rock. Dealing in Futures. • " You have been a grain' speculator, I ,, • believe," said'a solia looking business man as he entered a broker's office and without thelirst-eisair he was waived " Yes, sir, 1 have bei t speculator, but I am out of the business, thank goodness. It's .hazardouti, sir, very hazardous." " Yes. 'Well, then, I take it from that that you don't believe in a young man deal- ing in futures." "No, .sir, I do not. It is a reprehensible practice, six ; very reprehensible." " What would you do with a son, if you had one, who ' persisted in dealing in fu- tures ? ", " Why, if my son -and I've got one - Should deal id futures, I should wrestle with him awhile, and then if he persisted I should ••fire him out of, the house." , • "4.11 right. Your son is coming to See ' my daughter nearly • every night in the week; and last night I overheard , them talking about, how much they thought I was worth. If tIu,t isn't deal' g in futures, I'd like to know your advic before I fire him." The Inevitable Tax. • New York Heredd : Mrs. Hicks -When will you ever learn, Henry, to tax your memory ? Hicks -1 presume I shall start in this fall -if McKinley getsthere in Ohio. A clusto of dates weighing 18 pounds and comprising 1000 dates is on exhibition at Phenix, A. T. near which place they were grown. rrin sorry, s e sal y‘purse Koine."- . ` ' Down -you come," he said. " What ! " she said. "A ditne, or down you come repeated. But, sir—" Down you come," he sa1id again. "I'm no dude, doin' thesa here polite -things for pretty looks. Fork over a dime."• The case was desperate. He was letting the machine wabble a little, just to show that he meant business. "Come to my home," she said. " How far " he asked. "Only three blocks." " Then it's got to be a- quarter,",he as- serted. " All right. Give the machine a push and come on." He gave it a push and then cried : " ifold on here. I'm no race horse." He ran to the corner, but she was two blocks away on the cross street. " That settles me on the polite act," he said: " This here sayin' that politeness al'ays pays is dead wrong. Speedy Scotch Marriage. ifirribtiouneTi belong .the twenty-first dynasty, and are those of the priests of Ra-Asnun and their families. The pit is about 45 feet in depth, at the bot- tom of which are two corridors filled with in the lower corner-Lwhioh as yet has only been explored -it is' computed, that there are some 200 coffins, and the second corridor is believed to be not less exten- sive. The shaft is 45 feet deep, its mouth is about 12 feet in diameter, and it sides are of rough limestone. One of M. Grebaut's --f_par-r..,..m7sr••=ummaRar ,the work of hauling up the mummy cases, told me that he had, been the first actually to enter the corridor where the mummies and treasures lie. The shaft had then been excavated only as deep as the mouth of the corridor, and he crept in on his:hands and knees and stood on what he describes as being like a palace of enchantment. The- , feet higlkand 250 feet 19ng. It runs in a northerly direction from the shaft toward the Theban hill. At the end there is a short corridor branching from it at right angles, and at some height above the floor at the end is the entrance to a second very long corridor full of treasures, which has been sealed up for the present by M. -Grebaut. Groups of mummies are placed at inter- vals in families. The number in each group varies from two to six or seven -father, mother and children -and around them, exquisitely arranged, are vases, models of houses, •models of daliabiehS, cases 'and boxes full of ushabits, statuettes and every conceivable treasure of ancient Egypt. Without even a speck of dust upon them, this profusion of treasures had remained unlooked at by any eye for nearly 3,000 years. He said that photographs had been taken of the place in its undisturbed state - which -he declared to be that of a perfectly kept and well -arranged museum. -London A cademy. again!" he The Rev. 'Joseph Yair, of the Border parish of Eckford, Roxburghshire, who is now,defying his , Presbytery, has always been a man of strong will. To those who knew him in earlier days, it is no marvel that, although 90 years of age, he should claim to be qnite able, with the assistance of a pro Witioner, to attend fully to the -spirqual wants of hi's parish. As illustra Ling his decision of character his marriage maybe referred to. The parents of the young lady of his choice were greatly averse to the match, and, when the wedding .day came, had her securely locked her in her bed -room. Mr. Y -air was denied access. Turning to the parentswith a plaintive tone he pleaded that he might -be allowed at least to shake , hands with her and bid her good-bye. This was granted, and the bed -chamber unlocked: No Sooner was this done than Mr. Yair seized his bride by the right hand said, " I take you to be my wife"; and'she as swiftly replied, "I take you to be my husband." The parents were dumb with astonishment, and the Rev. Joseph forthwith bore off in triumph his blushing bride, and, it may be added, the hardly -won • wife proved an ad- mirable helpmeet. The spirit that is baffling the Presbytery now is the spirit that baffled the biide'sparents then. The old 'man may not be wise, but he is courageous. The Farmer and Ills Ducks. The following story was told by one of Chicago's prominent lawyers. No .other proof of its triithfulneis could be desired : It was when I used to practice law in a little town near the centre of the State," said he. "A farmer had one of his neigh- bors arrested for stealing ducks, and I was employed by the accused to endeavor to convince the court that such was not the case. The plaintiff w,as ,positive his neighbor was guilty of the offence charged against him, because he had seen the ducks in defendant's yard. How do you know they are your ducks,' I asked.' Oh, I should know my own ducks any- where,' replied the farmer, and he went into a description of their differentpeculiari- ties whereby he could readily distinguish them frbm others. Why,' said I, those ducks can't be of such a rare breed ; I have seen some just like them in my own yard." That's not at all unlikely,' replied the armer-Lfor-they-are-not the-only-dueks-I have had stolen lately.' - Then I called the next witness." • A BleSsed Good Thing. • New York Sun : "Its a blessed good thing," said Masson, as he gazed on the ocean, "It's a blessed good thing the ocean's bottom is solid." " Why ?" • " Think of what'a geyser there'd be on the other sid if it. leaked." , Nautical Courtship. . Chicago gerald : " kiss Bessie," he 'faltered, " lo you think you could learn .to love me ?" , , " I -I think I might, Mr: Spoonamore' she answered. with downcast eyes. • " If I were taught." , And the next moment he had her tent. That Accounted for it. Eminent Personage -May I ask whether you are rels tedrto the Mr. Smith whom I met at Veni.ie last 'ear? Mr. Smith -I am that Mr. Smith, sir. Eminent Personage -Ah 1 that accounts for the remarkable resemblance. -Boston Globe. Mr's. John McLean writes, from Barrie bland, Ont., March 4, 1881), as follows.: "I have been e, great sufferer from neuralgia for the last nine- years, but, being advised to try St. 1,'tidobs Oil, can now heartily en- dorse it as being a most excellent remedy for this complaint, as I have been greatly w benefited by its use." Reaping Dry.. Two Irishmen were fishing upon the banks of a river, when it began to rain. With his line in his hand one of them stepped under the arch of -a neighboring bridge:- _ "You can't fish there," said his cOrn- panion. " You won't get a bite." • " Whist, now," cried Pat ; " don't you know all the fishes will flock under here to get in out of the rain ?" - The Difficulty Mastered. Four-year-old Charlotte had been hav- ing some trouble with her English, but she has entirely passed her difficulties on one point. ' " I see how it is, mamma," she said the other day. "Hens set and lay." " Yes." "And people sit and lie, don't they, mamma V, Morning Paper Sensations. Assistant -I see the Morning Nerve has an editorial .called "Did Patrick Henry Smoke ?" • Editor -Well, you write one for our to- morrow's edition and call it." Would Wash- ington Have Made a Good Tennis Player ?" We've got to keep our end up, somehow ! No CII1MT for 'Regret. ° An Irishman •who was shingling a barn got too near the edge and rolled off and fell to the ground. " Oi'wuz coomin' down ony ," he re- flected. "Oi wuz jist out o' Couldn't See. " Why'don't you 1ookanl see Where you are going ? " said the needle to the pin. "How can I, when I haven't an eye in my head?" was the pin's meek reply. • On the Missouri Pacific Railroad, 256 miles west of St. Louis, is Waterloo, and in the immediate vicinity are Napoleon and Wellington. ARE NOT a Par. gative Medi- cine. They are a BLoon Jitirmonn, TONIC and 'Lenox- STRUCTOR, as they supply in a condensed form the substances actually needed to enz rich the Blood, curing all diseases coming from POOR and Wier- EEr BLOOD, or from VITIATED HUMORS in the BLOOD, and also invigorate and BUILD es the BLOOD and SysTnnt, when broken down by overwork, mental worry, disease, excesses and indiscre- tions. They have a Smarr° ACTION on the SEXUAL SYSTEM el both men and wome,h, restoring LOST VIGOR and correcting all IRREGULARITIES and SUPPRESSIONS. EVERY MAN wt.illi:sfitell'-aogrnmt,tfag.: his physical powers flagging, should take these Tho will restore his lost energies, both physical and mental. EVERY WOMAN should take them. They cure all sup- pressions and irregularities, which inevitably entail sickness when neglected. ' YOUNG MEN poovi.titiottibroosetrlerimres: sults of youthful bad halllts, angl strengthen the system. YOUNG WOMEN hould take athweTii make them regular. For sold by all Oruasists, or will be sent upon receipt of price (50c. per box), by addressing THE DR. WILLIAMS' MED. CO. Brockvillo. Ont. Mrs. Sarah M, Black of Seneca, Mo.; during the past two years has been affected with. Neuralgia of the Head, Stomach and Womb, and writes: "My food did not seem to strengthen me at all and my aPPe. tite was very-- vatiable.--11-3F-aite Ws e have a flow of mucus. in the mouth, and a bad, bitter taste. Sometimes my breath becalm short, and I had such queer tumbling, 'sdifiations arouMi1 athec all day under the shoulder blades, in the left side, and 'down the back of, my limbs. It seemed to be worse in the wet, cold weather of Winter and Spring; and whenever the spells came on, my feet and hands would -ra,e•ereraysee-k----65ttid-gu-ntrsteerr- at all. I tried everywhere, and got - no relief before using August Flower Then the change came. It has done me a wonderful deal of -good during the time I have taken it and is work- ing a complete cure." 0 G.-G,-G-1041VT.Sole-Man-lr,Woodbary,Nj. I$LOWING *VT A CANDLE. . • some Nora TricRit iiiricertbricin the Mom, Circle. There aro many ways of blowing oat a candle and there are ways a candle_ can be pla.,_teed,z to_ that it cannot be earilly extia- guiehed with a ROE The most startling, though, perhaps tbe most dangerous way of putting out the flame is by a via,* strong inhalation of the breath et short distance from thecandle. It will appear as • • if the flame had been literally swallowed, To learn the trick it is first necessary to learn the proper distance from the face to hold the, candle, bu,t, this can be- done 00* one or two trials. --,Anether-prettytrick-witb4-lighted-esildiOr " canbedouetoshow th peculiar way air (.11"P4:•' ,1914g1 441" ,90„aia44,10 .p#111144, • atfkebott1e. It still sgein if'youlTIOW right through the bottle. A variation. cam bemade by using two bottleainsteadof one. Place the bottles side by aide, about a oar - ter or half an ` inch ---1.95;"filfilifs'iffierriViiirik•eir -the two bottles place the lighted candle. If thii distances are properly adjusted they can be so arranged that'it is impossible to blow out the caudle by blowing through the spaces between the bottles. There is another trick which is likewise as interesting. Take a round disk of cardboard, or one of the your IliViith"-Tiallie ca,ndle. Then blow right at the card and- you will find that the flame of the candle will bend toward you and the cardboard instead of in the direa- tion you are blowing. -St. Louis Post - Dispatch. THE SAILOR'S MILE. The Word "Knot," What It Mems and now We Got It. All seamen reckon miles or distances by " knots " or nautical miles. To know their speed they let a long line run out from the stern, in which knots are tied, or bits of colored cloth tied on at such distance apart that each space between two knots counts 120th• of a mile. Thus 10 knots run out in /half a minute means that the ship has moved ahead 10 miles .an hour. So when we read thata steamship made so many knots or miles from noon to noon, it means a good many more statute miles. A degree at the equator is about 69 1-6 miles (69.17), but as the lines of longitude approach each other going north, in the latitude of 40 de greei a mile Of longitude is only ahout„53 statitute miles (53.0), and at 50 degrees, or on the south -side of England, a mile of longitude is only about 441 miles, (44.53). The seaman's distance " knot " is one -six- tieth part of a degree of longitude at the equator, no matter what longitude or lati- tude he is running in. It is 6,086 feet and 84 inches (6086.7), while:the common stat- ute mile is 5,280 feet. To find the number _of statute miles which the ship has run, we canmultiply the number ef knots or iiiintical miles it makes by 1.153, cutting, off the right-hand three figures for decimals, Right Arm and Left Foot. The right am is always a little larger than the left, but the left foot is almost al- ways larger than the right, presumablybe- cause, while nearly every man uses his right arm to • lift a weight or strike a blow, he almost invariably kicks with his left foot, while the lounger stands on his left, leg and lets the right fall easily, becauq he has learned • by experience that this is the best attitude he can. assume to pre- vent lassitude and fatigue. This constant bearing of the weight on the left foot makes it wider, than the right and it often happens that a man who tries on a shoe 011 the right foot and gets a close fit has to discard the shoes altogether because he cannot endure the pain caused by the tightness of the left. If when riding on a street. car you take the trouble to notice you will see that in laced shoes the gap is much smaller on the right foot than on the. left, while with buttal shoes the buttons have to be setback 10 times on the left to once on .the right.=Globe-Democrat. • *Ore in the West. Guest (in Chicago) -I really must apolo- gize for my husband's absence.. He enjoys these musicales so thoroughly. Hostess -Shall we not see him later iti the evening Guest -L -Pm afraid not. There'sa couple of thousand hogs to kill for early morning -de- livery, and I guess Butch will find his hands full. ,'What a beautiful volume of Browning you have ! Western Distinctions'. Tenderfoot -I notice you call everbody ,colonel. astern resident -linen a man looks like a gentlemen call him colonel. That's the style out here. " . tough...end brBeg ? " . " Call him general.",. Abominable Algerion. Mrs.sl'ewwed-Algernon _What did you mean bY telling "father that ,my biscuits wore like tennis balk; ? Algernon -I ment that they were light and sprinny. , Mrs. Newwed-Algernon, you mean thing, , you didn't ; you meant they were tough add , rubbery and-boo-hoo. Knowledge costs Money. , Irate Patron -See here, sir, 1 dropped a 1, nickel into this machine and nothing came I out. Agent -If nothing came out that, shows 1 it's empty. " Ilut, sir, what do I get for my nickel ?" " information." What Wits Said. " Your boss sent you home ?" inquired , the boy's father, angrily,. " What hap- pened? What did he,say to 'you ?" • "He said I was a stupid ass." "And so you are. And what else did he sayto you ?" , He said that like father, like son.' " That's the Difference. -Cabbage WhaVs-the- d-ifferenco-betweenr a dilatory man and the president of a female college ? Rubbage-I'll give it up. Cubbage-One misses the train and the other trains the misses. Ho! my sisters, see the banner Waving in the sky, Are you broken-down„discouragedl Courage 1 help is nigh. On that banner read this legend: Suffering women, hail! Pierce's Favorite Prescription Ne'er was known to fail The success of this remedy .is wonderful Its record is 'unparalleled. It has cured thousands of cases of female weakness, irregularities, and all diseases peculiar to the sex. It can always be depended on to do exactly what is claimed for it. , All the pro prietors ask is a trial. That will convince the most skeptical of its wonderful virtnea. Price.($1.00) refunded if it. fails to giv -satisfaction. Guarantee printed on every bottle -wrapper. , Different Rinds of Stick. " I see a woman has started out with stick to walk all the way to California That's something new, isn't it ?" "No, that happens all the time." "1 never heard of another ewe." •- " What ! Did you never hear of an actress travelling over the country with half a dozen sticks, and some of them make' money at it, to ?" Acc mmilir,A=••••••••••••MAANAACIWAdmoiMaal. AMMO.• _ COBS RIArtre, CREAtWEMEDY .3FICOEI., 3E* ..ei01:-.NT. RHEUMATISM, Neuralgia, Sciatica, Lumbago, Backache, Headache, , ToothaChe, • , a•e Sore Throat, Frost 13ites, Spratns, Bruises, Burns, Etc. t••••••;;. Sold by Druggists and Dealers everywhere. ' Fifty Cents a bottle. Directions in 11 Languages. .._:1111e CHARLES 4: VOGELER-00., BaltImeee, Canadian Depot: Toronto, Ont. rinr.apA,, /oafit OnL!!/l) vc:A3,? i,•era tor M•hic oreina' rvPs1141 , MAI i Losses, ITervotitinems, Weak l'art.t. lhe renult: ot discretion. It will invigoratk t• rid cure' you 30 years' suceess a guarantee. All tirligitists Bell it $1.60 per bolt. 01111 trial, It sealed Write ! r sealed letter to Eureka Chem ice' Co.. Detroit, ASIAN • „,,,e4YOURs. 7,• Ii`l_lifiElr'll V' -Zi• EA)-, MIES ' . • •• " ;i0.1 POSITIVE liESSAi. REMED11 , LI • ea Nervous Weal•Avan 110l, what, sc•r enciae miming. .. .','Z IO.2 POSITIVE HERBAL REMEEIY ,,:•:•1:: , „,•,..3 urinary Disch areo. 8. eitaer 1•••••etit or nthervdm. in n l'ow days. 50.3 POSITIVE HERBAL REMEDY in millhie III Blond di.enoeo, taintoteg Price each Remedy rive Dollard: Ist ' mil Win. Sent in plahn, sealed Pack - nes will Rules. Enormous sal.. ibc APANTEE11 Cr RS. WO...Senled pamphlet trio. Mt. JOHN PRR0Y.BOX 603.WINDSOR.00 Plso's Remedy for Catarrh is tho /3est. Realest to Use and Cheapest. The lowest body of water on the globe is the Caspian Sea, which is eighty-five feet below the level of its neighbor, the Black Sea. ng Sold by druggists or sent by maii,50o. r T.,. -rzoltine, Warren, Pa., U. S. A. Beware of Imitations. NOTICE ow I AUTOGRAPH Ai LABEIg OF 4/ r rtig GANED1471"NO LiAt • :•• ci A i••••• ▪ ' •-it" • •