HomeMy WebLinkAboutLucknow Sentinel, 1891-07-31, Page 3Reforms we Advocate.
In this pretipatious,;heartlese age
Of cant and sham and ehow,
Where the extremes, on every street,
Of wealth and poverty do meet
In a continuous flow. •
Where wealthy men increase in wealth,
The poor still poorer grow, '
Is it a heinous crime to ask,
And -hind ourpoti els to the task
Of finding, why 'tis so! .
Is it a crime in us to strive
To equalize the strain
Which -faulty eustpme; vieious-laws,—
Made up of fallacies and flaws
Have caused salong to obtain?
Is n object to be shunned,
reated with disdain,
W. o points directly tp the wrongs
Which keep the masses bound with tiironge
Of poverty and pain?
Three sources of distress and woe ;
Vice, fashion, human greed,
a, Tt
reg
re
alwill hathe faintest show
' Of getting what they need.'
Extravagance and foolish pride
Must give place to good sense ;
All Luxuries be set aside
That honest income can't abide,
Or fairly recompense.
Cash down must take the place of trust,
Credit : o to the shades,
Pay for their goods because they must,
Or find their place in hades.
Let debts at once no longer be
Collectable by law,
And soon our land would be quite free
From parasites, for all must see
Thei cedit wouldn't draw.
Let pro ibition have full swing,
Grant licenses to none
To make or sell the accursed thing,
That doth so much destruction bring
To commonwealth and home.
The tariff is the brewer's hope ;
License, the seller's pride ;
To make great wealth they give them scope—
With prohibition them revoke
And drinkr7ig must subside.
Then to knock out monopbly
In land, a tax apply , -
So high on unused land, that he
Who. wants the earth would rather be
Translated to the sky.
Thus doing, those who speculate
In thousand acre plots,
Holding wild lands as real estate,
Would sell them at a righteous rate
Or pay big yearly shots.
Just make monopolists land-poor,
•And Lazarus at their gates
" Will find more comfort in an hour,..
A, Be much more happy and less sour
Than ,hey with theirestates.
TEA TABLE (.O$ 1P.
—Do not imagine that eve"r' y man who
says nothing approves of your conduct.
—Success in life is very apt to make us
forget the' time when we_ weren't much.
—The heart must be beaten and„ bruised,
and then the sweetrscent will come out.
=A11 of us complain of the shortness of
life, yet we all waste more time thanweuse.
THE JUNCTION.
zzll ng-.1•nkshn-!-•Gljkrzzz-frr-r Wirazzbry
13rinktn and Yngzzzbg!
Op, no; 'tis not"Chinese,-or Welsh,
Nor Hebrew, Sanecrit, Russian ,
These rasping syllables I belch -
Are a U. S. institution.
I'd tell you all what they're all about;
It is the brakeman's function
These wild, delirious words to shout
When coming to the junction.
—,1Tyhelve mare 6,250,00p Roman Catholics in
—Many a girl who "takes the cake"
wouldn't if she had to bake it herself.
In my travels I havejroticed that the man who
wants the earth,
And who pulls and hauls and elbows in to get
the lower berth,
Is the same who always tells you, with his
overflowing love,
That the atmosphere is better i
TUE ESCORTED GIRL.
She Is an Interesting Creature and You
Like Her Ways. ,
These are the days when the escorted
girl a prevalent. Yon can tell her at a
glance. The girl whose brothers are accus-
tomed to take her about has an air of good
fellowship winch fa unzniatakabdet :She.
isn't the escorted girL Oh, no !
The. escorted gid Inas the conscious. air of
having just discovered that she ie desirable,
lint not h rtaiety
that she is wort while. She has the con-
sciousness of suspecting that man is her
natural prey, but of not being certain that
she will get the chance to devour
him. • She enjoys the sensations
of being desired without the full knowledge
that the desire will grow by what it feeds
on. She feels her power, but does not quite ie
know ow to use it. She tries r s it,but with
gained confidence. There is usually an
open attempt to please in her manner,
which draws marked attention to her. It
is while she is in this state that she given
away more of her real nature than she ever
does later. And it is while she is in this
frame of mind that she comes under the
n the other head of the sore of girl I have been notin
LAW IN ARIZONA.
The Prisoner was Mbudug,. but that
Didn't )latter.
They are not very rigid as to court
formalities down on the Rattlesnake lode
in Arizona, says the San Francisco News -
Letter.
'' I .dont .see . the -prisoner," :said the-
Gaounty Judge, as he walked up preparatory
to sentencing a culprit. " Where is he 1"
" I'm blessed if I know," said the Sheriff,
looking -under -the -benches "-Just-lent-hi
my paper��of fine.cut, too."
" Wall he a big red-headed man with a
scar on his cheek ?" asked the foreman, who
was playing poker with the rest of the
Jury.
" That's the cuss," said the clerk, who
had been betting on a horse rate with the
prosecuting- attorney.
Why„,„
then," �u
said the foreman he
Yi��e;�iii�'kiv` �affioSYiG`
an hour ago, but I showed him I had three
sixes; and he said, ' Well, next time, then,'
and walked out."
" The thunder you say ?" roared His
Honor. " However, he's sure to be in town
next week tb seethe dog fight, and some of
you must remind the sheriff to shoot him on
sr: ht. The docket is just lammed full of
waste over a measly homicides. Next
case."
a1IJMMER .)HOLIDAYS.
As a rule the people who can afford it—
and some who can't—take holidays in mid-
summer, but it is a mistake to invest too
much money in a ' summer cottage, like
those granite mansions on the islands be-
tween Gananoque and Clayton. One gets
weary of going to the same place every year,
-though-that-place-be gorgeous ancL_comfort-_
able. The travellers who sojourn in hotels
have the best of --it, for they can .go -where
they choose. One curious phase of opinion
on the holiday question is exemplified by a
correspondent of . a St. Louis paper, who
writes :
I get•oneevery year, and don't know what to
do with it. It's only two weeks in length ; but
it costs .me a month's salary, throws me into
debt, and starts me into the cool weather with
a disgruntled mind and a sour stomach.
Somepeople may say the tone of this
• effusion is conclusive evidence that: the dis-
gruntled mind'and the acidulous stomach
are already with ,the writer before the
opening of his off-season. Yet the ' fact' is
not to be disguised that he has only put • in
print a feeling of coyness, or mistrust,
which in more or less degree has been in the
minds of his fellow-vacationists in other
seasons.
Vacation itself—the abstinence from ac-
customed exercise, and the transition from
the fresh fruits, and vegetables and the rich
milk and butter of the city markets to
the canned delicacies of the summer re-
sort—is not necessarily a bad thing
in ' itself. The expense and worri-
ment of getting; summer • quarters ; the
frantic chase tor health ; the effort to
catch fish in depopulated streams, and the
attempt to put as much bronze on the cheek
in a fortnight as would require two months
for its development—these are some of the
minor considerations that sometimes cause
allusions to vacation as the season of rest to
fall with sardonic meaning on the ear. But
this, after • all, is the vain, presumptions
setting up ofindividual experience.
Opposed to it invincibly is the gen-
eral judgment of mankind, which sends
highly intelligent people in great
throngs to the mountain tops, and myriads
of other equally intelligent people .in vast,
seething multitudes to the brink of the
river, the lake or sea. These vast tidal
movements'bf our species at the coming of
each summer must be something more than
the impulse of fashion or fatuity. At all
events, the voice of the people, if it be not
always infallible, is far more to be trusted
than the isolated croaks of an embittered
k'few—who would probably never be happy
though they, should get a whole month off,
with an advance of salary thrown in, and
quarters beside the sea next door to a
merry-go-round. '
'1 Off to Behring. Sea. , •
A Victoria despatch says : The seal-
ing commissioners arrived this morning
and leave to-nightby the steamer •Dan •
nbe for the Behring Sea. They had a
long conference with the Board of Trade
j;' and the Sealers' Association in- regard to.
sealing matters. One of the sealing schooners
I arrived a feiv days ago. She was ordered
not to enter Behring Sea by an American
cruiser. A number of other sealers .were
also warned not to enter the sea. They
I Have not come home. It is generally be-
1ieved pone of the sealers will leave here on
'l
'orders from an American source, but will
dodge the cruisers as long as posible.
Seizures are expected.
. I
The Dowager Countclas, of Shrewsbury, ,is'
one of the most prominent philanthropists
in England. She has spent most of her
time and money in improving the condition
of the 13oor on her estate and has established
several lodging houses and "convalescent
homes " for the indigent and sick.
A man is usually as ,small as he tries to
make other men feel.
• The possession of e, yacht at this season
is very pleasant for the friends of the
possessor.
Anna Katharine Green has dramatized
U The Leavenworth Case." .
—Considerable British indignation has
been aroused by a fancy-dress bail in India
in which officers dressed as fiends, with
hors and tails, danced a quadrille with
eight ladies costumed as " reluctant
angels."
—Operations have been commenced in the
construction of the much -talked -of C. P. R.
bridge over the Niagstra; above the whirl-
pool. It is supposed the structure will be
finished before the snow flies.
Sunday Reflections.
The loaded dice' top proves that turn
about isn't always fair play.
This is the season when the girl not at the
seaside is beside herself.
Fighting is a variety of fruit better nipped
in the bud than picked after it is ripe.
It isn't safe to estimate the quality of a
man's time by the size of his watch chain.
It doesn't take a shipbuilder long to learn
that it is the fleetest yacht which has the
quickest sale.
The bump of self-esteem • of the man who
loves his neighbor as himself must be some-
thing prodigious.
SAME OLD THING.
Day—I believe that some of these clergy-
men-who-turn-awa-y-from--their--ereeds- do- --it •
to make money. '
Weeks—What is the harm in that ? In�
old times when a man turned heretic he got
staked. r
have dubbed " the escorted girl."
There are women, I find, who never get
beyond this stage. There are girls of aug
gestive possibilities who never realize all
that they promise, for some undefinable
reason. They never grow sure of their
rights, never wear them with authority.
This class of women is not uncommon. I
recollect them in my youth. One often
made great efforts to be made acquainted with
them, and never got any further. , They
are often prettier than less attractive girls.
but lacking reality they are only inspiring
to the imagination. Femininity is hard to
classify, however, and there is as much dif-
ference of opinion about it as about religion.
—Boston Home Journal.
THE RUSSIAN SUCCESSION.
What if the Czarowitz Had ,Been Assassi-
nated ?
Had the Japanese assailant of the Czaro-
witz been permitted to accomplish his pur-
pose, the most terrible confusion wouldhave
arisen at St. Petersburg in connection with
matters relating to the succession to the
throne, for the Emperor's second eon is
dying of consumption—the result, it is said,
of a blow in the chest, received in jest from
the Czarowitz. Alexander III., it may be
mentioned here, is stated to owe both Isis
charming wife and his throne to a similar
blow inflicted in play upon his elder brother
Nicholas, who died at Nice of consumption
in 1865. The third and only remaining son
of the Emperor is the little Grand Duke
Michel, a boy of 12 years of age, who, in
the event of a demise of the crown, would
require -the -guidance and guardianship-of-a-
regencyuntil the expiratipn of his minority.
To whom would the regency belong ?
That is the question that concerns the Czar,
for more than one of the Czar's kin
would claim the right to train the royal
twig. -
In official circles in Russia it is believed
that Alexander III. has already designated
his brother, the Grand Duke Sergius, as
Regent, in the event of the minorityof his
successor. Sergius is renowned for his
fanaticism, and for his aversion to every-
thing foreign. If the necessity for a regency
were to occur the world would probably be
called upon to witness, if not a,. civil and
fratricidel war, at any rate a repetition of
the terroism and bloodshed which marked
in 1825 the accession to the throne of
Emperor Nicolas in lieu of his elder
brother; the Czarowitz Constantine.=
Harper's Weekly.
THE DEVIL.
There never was a house of prayer
But what the Devil roosted there ;
And though to tell it makes us weep,
-H eegivetlrhis-beloved-sleep:
WERE I A PREACHER.
Were I.a preacher I would love
The man who's truly wild and tough,
Far more than him who stays from church
Because he feels he's good enough.
THEY STAY FROM CHURCH.
Some men there are who stay from church
And preachers one and all condemn,
For when the good mon sinners warn
' These fellows feel they're whacking them.
THE TURNING OF .THE CRANK.
Whene'er a new scheme of perpetual motion
Arouses attention from ocean to ocean,
Experts come to see it from far and from near
And, gathered around, at its mysteries peer.
Perhaps it deceives them, more likely they find
That a cute little belt snugly sneaks out be-
hind,
And there out of sight behind lathing and
plaster
A crank has been turning, now slower, now
faster.
'Tis thus with now schemes in religion's great
field
A wealth theologic they promise to yield ;
Full many proclaim them a true revelation,
Producing the balm fit to heal all creation.
But when heads more level would view them
aright,
'Tis discovered that something is hidden Prom
sight ;
And later adherents their folly must thank .'
For bowing in awe to the turn of a crank.
Odd Jots About Vegetarians.;
Robert Purvis is a vegetarian.
Susan B. Anthony is a vegetarian:
The noted vegetarian, Henry L. Fry, of
Cincinnati, is now 84.
Battle Creek - (Mich.) vegetarians have,i
organized a society:
The vegetable food is regarded by Japan-
ese as Sho-Jinmono, or the food of spiritual
progress.
The Jenness Miller Magazine is trying to,
prove that consumption is largely'due to
flesh -eating. -
At the Embankment Iron Works, Lon-
don, the heaviest sort of work is being done
by men who subsist on vegetables.
A Japanese correspondent of Food, Home
and Garden says : " I must bebold enough
to say that the eight or nine -tenths of the
whole population in my country are truly
vegetarians. •
Edison stopped eating meat until his liver
began to "work right,' and then he back-
slid • from vegetarianism ; whereat Food,
Home and Garden gives him this slap : "It
is the old story repeated: ' When the devil
was sick, the devil a monk would be. But
when the devil was well, the devil a monk
wag he.' "
' What an "Inch" of Rain Means.
Few people eau form an idea of what is
involved in the expression : " An inch of
rain." It may aid such to follow this curi-
ous calculation : An acre is equal to 6,272,-
640 square inches ; an inch deep of water on
this area will bo as many cubic inches of
Water, which, at 227 to the gallon, is
22,000 gallons. This immense quantity of
water will weigh 220,000 pounds, or 110
ton. One-hundredth of an inch (0.01)
alone is equal to one ton of water to the
acre.
John is no Jay.
John Wanamaker : " I never in my life
)used such a thing as aoster, or dodger, or
handbill. My plan for fifteen years has
been to buy so much space in a newspaper,
and fill it up with what I wanted. I would
not give an advertisement in a newspaper
of ..500 circulation for 5,000 dodgers or
posters." This is the experience of all busi-
ness men.
A sensitive man in Fifth street market
bof highly affronted because a passing brass
and struck up " Marching Through
Georgia " just as he was half way through a
'Georgia watermelon.—Ph1 rdelphia Record.
For Baby Boys. • •
Sailor collars ending in revers to the waist
line are edged -with embroidery.
Leggins are of cloth or ooze calf in tan
or black. Black shoes and hose are always
worn. -
Figured ginghams of the plainest descrip-
tion have,a gathered shirt and round waist.
Pique dresses having a/ round waist are
trimmed with collars, cuffs and bretelles
edged with embroidery.
Little boys of two and three years wear
their front hair banged and the rest in loose
curls or waved ends.
Jacket suits of pique or gingham have a
plaited or gathered skirt, short coat sleeves
and a square three-piece jacket.
Cotton dresses are cut with a round,
broad waist in three pieces, corded and
sewed to the full gathered or plaited and
hemmed skirt.
Flannel and cotton dresses for little
chaps just donning boyish gowns have one-
piece dresses in three box -plaits, back and
front, caught to just below the waist line.—
Emma M. Hooper,in the Economist.
The Duke and Duchess of Fife.
It is perhaps worth noting that since the
daughters of Henry VII.—both queens—
married into the Peerage there has till the
present day been no instance of a direct de-
scendant of the sovereign being the child of a
Peer of England or Scotland. Margaret
Tudor was Queen of Scotland, and married,
for her second husband, the Earl of Angus,
her daughter Margaret marrying the Earl of
Lennox. Mary Tudor was Queen of France,
and married, secondly,' Charles Brandon,
Duke of Suffolk, their daughter Frances
marrying Guy, Marquis of Dorset. Till our
present Queen's reign the house of Hanover
,has refused to ally itself with the nobility of
Great Britain, even the marriages of George
TII'. s brothers with ladies not of royal rank'
being so bitterly resented as to cause the
passing of the royal marriage act. This act
was the more disastrous as the limitations of
the Protestant succession narrowed so greatly
the choice of suitable partners for our
Princes and Princesses from the courts of
Europe.—Exchange.
The Advantages of Education.
Buffalo News : " I tell you, Bill," said
Smoky Mike, the burglar, "we hard,
workin' thieves don't make half as much
money out o' thebusiness as them'cludebank
presidents and Pennsylvania officials."
" That's so, Smoke," returned Bill. " An'
that just shows the value of eddication,
which I has frequently remarked."'
Rev. Anna, Shaw, whose pleas for woman
suffrages are made upon the novel ground
that their is too nisch " father " and not
enough I" mother " in our government, is
below the average height, of rotund form,
and speaks rapidly, with a clear enunciation.
FOOD FOR SIMMER, MONTH*,
The Effects of Various Vegetables, Frans,
Meats, Fisk, Drinks, Etc.
A physician who has made a study of
summer vegetables and their general effect
owa family, says the New York Press,
states that beets, carrots, potatoes, turnippss,
green corns:peas and d ima- beans -are-the
most fattening of the common vegetables.
Asparagus cleans the blood :and acts on the
kidneys. Tomatoes contain calomel and
n-the-liver•.Somcj doctor -go-so-far• ;as --
to claim that a delicate woman should not
eat sliced tomatoes Unless prescribed by her
family physician. Beets are particularly
rich in sugar and also excellent appetizers,
whether eaten with or without, vinegar.
Beets contain from l0 to 11 percent. of sugar,
carrots from 6 to 7 per cent,, parsnips 6 per
cent.,, and turnips from 2 -to 4 per cent., ' ac-
eordin•to the variety. The are about
�4
equal as reg�r�the `p . p `�"-o
genous matter in thein, each containing
from 1.3. to 2 per cent. of nitrogenous clog'
ments.
Cucumbers and lettuce are cooling. Those
eating lettuce with some regard for its bene-
ficial properties in the days when the ther-
mometer is 100 degrees in the shade will
use little dresmin- ; a dressing with little
Wire Finer Than Hair.
We are at work just now, said a manu-
facturer the other day, on some pretty small
wire. It is 1.500th of an inch in diameter
—finer than the hair on your head, a great
deaL Ordinary fine wire is drawn through
steel plates, but that wouldn't do for this
work, because if the hole wore away ever
so little it would make the wire larger, and
that would spoil the job. Instead, it is
drawn through what is practically a hole in
a diamond, to which there is, of course, no
wear. These diamond plates are made by a
woman in New York, who has a monopoly
of the art in this country. The wire is then
run through machinery which winds it
spirally with a layer of silk thread that is
.0015 of an inch in thickness—even finer
than the wire, you see. This wire is used
in making the receiving instruments of
ocean cables, the galvanometers used in
testing cables and measuring insulation of
covered wires. '
For New York's Young Women.
Ground was broken in Brooklyn last
Monday for the new Ybung Women's Chris-
-tian-- -Association--huild-ing.--- The --building
will cost $225,000 and will be six stories
high with a front of light brick and terra
cotta. In the basement will be a gynmas-
ium, bathroom and pharmacy. Opening
from the entrance hall will be an octagonal
reception room and a chapel with seating
capacity for 800 persons. The reading room
andlibsary_._wilLoccnpy. the___second_story,_.
and a lecture room' and parlors the third.
The rest of the building-will-be--devoted--to
the class rooms, kitchen and work rooms.
One of the pleasantest features of the build-
ing will be a roof garden. The building
will be finished by May 1, 1892. Mr. D. C.
Wood has given $125,000 toward the cost of
it as a memorial to his wife.
Finished His Story.
On January 15th last two laborers were
at work on a railroad running into Indian-
apolis from Alton. One was telling a story,
and as he- was bending over he was
accidentally hit on the head with a hammer
by his companion, and his skull was
fractured. • He was rendered unconscious
and remained in a comatose condition until
last , Friday night, when Dr. G. D:
Sturtevant, of Indianapolis, trepanned his
Skull, and immediately upon removing the
pieces of skull from, against the brain the
man continued the story which was started
five months before and had lain latent in
his brain during all this time.—Globe-
Democrat.
A Four•Footed Gentleman.
To be well-educated, to have good -man-
ners, and to be used ,to good society, are
certainly strong claims to being considered"
a gentleman, and if a gentleman may some-
times be called a donkey, why may not a
donkey sometimes be called a gentleman ?
Something like this may have been the
reasoning of the man who framed a novel
advertisement which appeared in a London
paper: '
" For sale, a donkey, well-educated, of
gentle manners, good ooking and a good
goer. Has been driven and cared;, for by
gentlewomen, and is •a gentleman. Only
parted with because no further use for him.
Price, 50s. No more, no less."
Music While You Eat.
Several restaurants up town have small
orchestras; principally of Italian perform-
ers, to furnish music • during the dinner
time, and now the owner of a neat res-
taurant on Union Square has placed a large
music -box in the rear of the dining room.
It stands on a richly carved pedestal, and
has an ornamental dome. With one wind-
ing it furnishes low, sweet music for over
an hour.
This "music -box has proved, a success, and
the restaurant is well patronized.—New
York Herald.
A Perfect Heathen.
.Indianapolis Journal : Mrs. Watts—How
is your new girl ?
Mrs. Potts—Ohl she's a perfect heathen.
I left her to straighten things up before the
minister called, and she never even dusted
off the Bible!
preferable to the usual mustard plaster.
Olives, garlic and onions stimulate the
heart and . quicken circulation, and conse-
quently , increase the flow of saliva and so
promote digestion. Red onions are a strong
diuretic.
Red cherries, grapes, mulberries, pears,
str awberries, English golden pippin apples
and red raspberries, which contain large
percentages of sugar, are fattening if thor-
oughly ripe. If fruits are chosen for their
cooling qualities, currants, yellow plums
and small 400seberries should have the call.
If drinks are to be selected on the same
hypothesis, claret, lemonade and iced tea
are more refreshing than milk, soda water,
lager and the body wines. Iced tea is much
better than iced coffee,as it has a tonic effect
on the pores.
Lean meats, poultry, lobsters, dry, toast
and cheese are cooling as compared with
mutton, gravies, salmon, farinaceous foods,
apioca, bread, pastry, nuts and confec-
tionery
The Easiest way to Clean Lace.
An old lace maker, who has woven many
a gossamer web for that connoisseur of laces,
Mme. Modjeska, and has taught the fair
actress to fashion some of the daintiest fiat-
_terns_her.deft-fngexs..delight..in ioing,_grvs __._._—
this simple recipe for lace cleaning : Spread
the lace out carefully on wrapping paper,
then sprinkle it carefully with calcined
magnesia ; place another paper over it and
put it away .between the leaves of a book
for two or three days., All it needs is a
skillful shake to scatter the white powder -
and then it is ready for wear, with slender
thireads nitact and-ise fresh as Alien new.
To Cleanse a Carpet of Stain.
Put a pad of blotting paper under the
carpet where the mark is and a pad on the
top, and apply a hot iron, as is used for •
linen.
—This year' there have been a dozen
cases of death in England directly attribut-
able to injuries received in football matches.
Why She Was Angry. `
Boston Herald : He put his arm around
her waist for the first time, but, realizing
his boldness, quickly withdrew it. " Are
you angry with me, Katie ? " he asked,
timidly.
" Of course I ani," Georgie," she
answered. " What business had you to take
away your arm ?"
The Scotch census' returns' just issued
show the total population, of Scotland, in.
cluding the shipping in Scotch waters, to
be 4,033,103, of whom 1,951,461 are males
and 2,081,624 females.- Compared with the
year 1881, this is an increase of 297,530-
151,986 males and 145,544 females. • -The
population of Glasgow is given at 565, 714,
as compared with -1511,415 in 1881. Edin-
burgh is given at 261,261, as compared; with
234,402 ten years ago.
Jack—I love you. Maud—How' nice !
Jack—But I am poor. Mand—How roman-
tic ! ! Jack—Yet I want you to be my
wife. Maud—How stupid ! ! 1—Town Topics
New York city's real estate valuation for
the current year foots up $1,464,247,820,
and her personal estate $321,609,518, making
a. total of • 4l,785,857,338—an increase ef
$88,888,648 over the valuation of last year,,
New Ye-'- y pays one-third of the entire
.8 tate
Bunting for Bitty.
Mrs. Smith (to Mrs. Jones' servant girl)—
What do you want ?
Servant Girl—Mrs. Jones sends her re-
gards; and says would you be so kind as to
count your children and see if you haven't
got one too many, as our Kitty hasn't ,
come home, and school has been out two
hours. .
A Striking Likeness.
Rochester. Herald : " Mr. Weber, this is
your son's photograph which he ordered.
Does it not look like him ?"
.. Yes." '
" But he has not paid me for it yet."
" That looks still more like him."
:• That Bonnet.,
Buffalo News : He—You told me before
we were married that you could live on
love, and now you touch . me fora twenty
dollar bonnet.•
She—Yes, dear ; but it is a love of a
bonnet. -
Not Jealous.
New York Herald : Harry ---I saw
George down town last night hugging a.
lamppost.
Ethel—I don't believe it ; and I'm not of
a jealous disposition, anyway.
• No Danger.
New York Jury : " He sat on my joke."
" That was safe." •
" Safe ?"
" Yes There wasn't 'any point to it." '
Munsey',s Weekly : Mrs.' Fangle—Why .
I'm so glad to see,you, Mrs. Wallace ; T had
a, presentiment that you would call this
evening. '" Indeed !' " Yes, whenever
Henry and I sit down to 'have a nice, quiet
evening' to ourselves somebody is sure to
call."
Gen. Booth, the Salvation Army leader,
proposes, during his tour of the world, to
buy land in the western part of the United
States to found a colony similar to that
which he has established in England, where
he has about 129 men at work.
Indianapolis Journal : "Hum !" said
Mr. Wickwire, "here's a 'great story in
this paper. It appears that a mein adver-
tised for a boy, and the same day his wife
presented 'him with twin sons. If that does
not show the value of advertising,' what
does it show ? "
"It shows that if he had confided his
business affairs to ,his wife, as a man ought
to, he might have saved the expense -of the
advertisement," answered Mrs. Wickwire.
A newspaper in the Gypsy jargon, the
Romany tongue, .is soon to bo published in
England with the expectation of " making it
the organ of the wandering people. It will
be edited by George Smith, the " king" of
the English gypsies, who counts upon gettinf+
20,000 subscribers to it. '
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eas
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may_